10 Celeb Moms Who've Opened Up About Endometriosis

More than 6 million women in the United States live with endometriosis, a common yet painful disorder that causes tissue to grow outside the uterus. Symptoms like heavy menstrual flow and pelvic pains aren’t always immediately recognized and many women go years without the support and treatment they need, which is why it’s more and more celebrity moms have opened up about their endometriosis to help bring more awareness.

Across the world, National Endometriosis Awareness Month has been recognized in March since 1993. “This illness is challenging for so many reasons, but feeling isolated can be particularly overwhelming. Often we are the only person in our circle with endo, and we find ourselves having to advocate in every setting, including the doctor's office,” the Endometriosis Foundation of America explains. “Endometriosis Awareness Month is the chance to grow our support networks, share information, and be open about the battle we fight every day.”

From Tia Mowry-Hardict to Amy Schumer, celebrity moms are helping do just that. They’re sharing their personal experiences that shed light on bigger problems like how Black women and women of color are more likely to be misdiagnosed. According to a study published in 2019 by the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology, 40% of African American women were mistakenly diagnosed with pelvic inflammatory disease (PIV), even though they had endometriosis.

There is no cure for endometriosis and treatment depends on each woman's needs. And over the years, celebs have shared their experiences with the disorder and are using their platforms to help raise awareness.

Tia Mowry-Hardict

The 42-year-old actress was diagnosed with endometriosis over a decade ago. In an interview with Romper, she shared that after being misdiagnosed for years, it was a Black female gynecologist who finally identified the problem. "She knew right away," she said. "She was the first one to diagnose me. And she was also the first one to lead me in the right direction when it came to my treatments."

With the help of surgery and a significant lifestyle change, Mowry-Hardict was ultimately able to welcome her son Cree in 2011 and daughter Cairo in 2019. The actress uses her story to promote well-being among women, specifically women of color, through her multivitamin brand called Anser.

Monica

In May 2017, the R&B singer had surgery to treat her endometriosis. The "So Gone" singer and mother of three shared in an Instagram post that has since been deleted, according to People, that had she had "two cysts, fibroids, and a hernia" removed, which were making her "very sick."

“My reason for sharing is because we, as women, are built to be warriors and we will ignore something that seems so simple that can be so complex,” she told People at the time. “Your uterine health is very important. I spoke up about it so people out there who are going through the same thing know that they’re not alone.”

Chrissy Teigen

In February 2021, the mom of two and John Legend's better half underwent surgery to treat her endometriosis and shared a video of her scar on Twitter. The surgery occurred shortly after the couple tragically lost their son, Jack, at 20 weeks gestation.

Days leading up to the surgery, Teigen shared that she was feeling a kicking sensation in her stomach. "I truly feel kicks in my belly, but it's not phantom. I have surgery for endometriosis tomorrow...but the period feeling this month is exactly like baby kicks. sigh," she tweeted in February.

While Teigen didn’t share the exact reason she felt the kicking sensation, Dr. Tamer Seckin of Seckin MD Endometriosis Center in New York explains on his website that the feeling is often a symptom associated with "endo belly." The term describes bloating and cramping symptoms of endometriosis.

Emma Roberts

The 30-year-old American Horror Story actress revealed that her endometriosis diagnosis led her to freeze her eggs. Roberts told Cosmopolitan in a November 2020 interview that the diagnosis changed her life and shared that she had been unknowingly dealing with the disorder since she was a teenager.

Through it all, however, there is a happy ending: Roberts gave birth to her first child with her boyfriend, Garrett Hedlund, in January. The couple welcomed a son, whom they named Rhodes and Roberts has called her "bright light."

Halsey

Halsey's endometriosis journey has been a rough one. In 2017, Halsey, whose real name is Ashley Nicolette Frangipane, underwent several surgeries and froze her eggs to protect her fertility. The following year, in 2018, she suffered a miscarriage and at one point, started to doubt if she could have children.

Fast forward three years, the "Nightmare" singer is pregnant with her first child. Earlier this year, Halsey surprised her fans with a pregnancy announcement and shared a picture of her growing belly on her Instagram Story. In it, she pointed to the scars on her lower abdomen and captioned it, "The scars that got me this angel."

Whoopi Goldberg

The View talk show host was diagnosed with endometriosis over 40 years ago, according to Healthline. Fortunately, considering that Black women less likely to be diagnosed with the condition, she was able to find a doctor who could properly treat her.

Today, the 65-year-old actress and comedian is an advocate for #endowarriors and uses her platform to raise awareness. In 2009, at the Endometriosis Foundation’s Blossom Ball, Goldberg told the audience "there is nothing dirty" about endometriosis. "No religious group is going to be pissed if you discuss this," Goldberg, who has a 47-year-old daughter and three grandchildren, said at the time. "Because if you don’t discuss it, many more women are going to find themselves unable to have children, or find themselves close to dying because [the disease has] led to something else."

As a result of her experience, she created Whoopi & Maya, a line of cannabis products designed to relieve menstrual pain and symptoms that has since been discontinued

Amy Schumer

During a 2019 interview on Dr. Berlin’s Informed Pregnancy podcast, the Trainwreck actress and comedian opened up about her challenges with endometriosis and her pregnancy difficulties. Schumer said that, as a result of endometriosis, she had to have a three-hour C-section and IV fluids to deliver her son, Gene, in May of that year.

The 39-year-old also dealt with hyperemesis gravidarum, a severe form of morning sickness that causes vomiting and nausea. But despite it all, she said it was still the "best year" of her life. These days, Schumer and her husband, Chris Fischer, seemingly have their hands full with a toddler who’s about to turn 2.

Gabrielle Union-Wade

In 2018, the actress and author revealed she suffered from adenomyosis, a form of endometriosis that strictly affects the uterus. It occurs when endometrial tissue that normally lines the uterus, grows into the muscular wall of the uterus, as the Mayo Clinic explains.

In a 2014 sit-down interview on Dr. Oz, Union-Wade shared the condition was undoubtedly the cause of her "eight or nine miscarriages" with her husband, Dwyane Wade. "Fertility is not an older women's issue. It’s an issue, period," she told Dr. Oz at the time.

On Nov. 7, 2018, the couple's daughter, Kaavia James Union Wade, was born via surrogate. Kaavia is Union-Wade's first child. The 48-year-old actress is also a co-parent to Wade's daughter, Zaya, and his two sons, Zion, and Xavier.

Padma Lakshmi

Bravo TV’s Top Chef host told WebMD in a 2018 interview that she started experiencing cramps from endometriosis as young as 13 years old. Lakshmi took birth control and painkillers to try to alleviate the headaches and nausea from the condition, but it only made it worse, she shared with the outlet. It took 23 years and an ovarian cyst removal surgery for Lakshmi to finally get a proper diagnosis from Dr. Tamer Seckin. “Dr. Seckin was the first one to really give it a name,” she told WebMD. “He didn’t think I was crazy — he listened to me.”

In 2009, Lakshmi co-founded Endometriosis Foundation of America with Dr. Seckin, which is an organization committed to increasing "disease recognition, provide advocacy, facilitate expert surgical training, and fund landmark endometriosis research." That same year she froze her eggs as a result of her condition. A year later, in 2010, she gave birth to her daughter, Krishna, who’s now 11.

Jaime King

In an interview with Glamour, the 41-year-old actress and model shared that she went to nine doctors about her symptoms before a physician finally diagnosed her with endometriosis. Before then, she described her growth into young womanhood as "not joyful" and shared that she was "very much celibate" because of the pain her endometriosis symptoms caused during sex. But once she was diagnosed, that's when her healing began.

"What's great now is that if you go on Instagram, people can share and exchange their stories," she told Glamour, "and to have a community around you that you can relate to is truly one of the most valuable things in the world. King welcomed her first child, her son James, with her husband Kyle Newman in 2013. She gave birth to her second chid, a son named Leo, in 2015.

If you or someone you know is suffering from endometriosis or believes they have symptoms from it, remember you are not alone.

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To The People Worried Lil Nas X Will "Turn Kids Gay"

Lil Nas X recently released his “Montero (Call Me By Your Name)” music video and instantly the internet exploded with, “This person is making our children gay! Hide your very straight kids who will see A Gay.” For so many reasons, I have questions.

Some of the concern behind this music video in particular apparently stems from the belief that there is a “machine” that wants your kids to “turn gay.” And while it goes without saying that no devout heterosexual can “turn gay” simply by seeing a music video, I can tell you if we have any “system” at all, that system wants to “turn you” straight.

Lil Nas X, previously known to many parents as the person who sang kid-favorite “Old Town Road,” acknowledges this system in the music video. He begins with a voiceover about how we are asked to hide the parts of ourselves that we don’t want the world to see, and introducing the idea of a world called Montero, where we don’t have to hide the true parts of ourselves. I think if you asked the average parent which kind of world they want to see — one wherein their kids are allowed to be who they want to be, or one wherein they’re forced to become something they are not — they would unanimously favor the latter.

Unless, of course “being who they’re allowed to be” means they are LGBTQ.

The truth that so many of these Very Concerned Parents are ignoring is that heteronormative culture actively encourages kids to "turn straight." It dictates what someone’s assigned gender means, and how they should act because of that, and which gender they can love. From birth, many of us will only see stories of heterosexual couples being told on screen, and notably many of the queer characters we will see will die tragic deaths, or one of them dies, perpetuating the message: “Be careful kids, being queer has consequences!” The happy endings, the acceptance, the happiness, often belongs solely to kids who go down the path society really wants you to go down: heterosexuality.

When you have kids, you’re supposed to have them with the idea that you have no idea who this person is meant to be.

The idea that you can be worried that kids can “turn gay” simply from seeing openly queer performers not only doesn’t make any sense — How does someone turn gay? Are they removed from the lumber yard at Home Depot and, as though in a trance, they turn to kiss someone in the Garden Center? — it also speaks 100% to the base issue that you don’t like queer people.

When you have kids, you’re supposed to have them with the idea that you have no idea who this person is meant to be. Yes, you bring them into the world, but kids come into the world, even as babies, with their own personalities, their own things that make them unique and special. If your child is born queer, and sees a queer performer, that can only, and will only, open up an entire world of possibility for them. However, if your child is born queer, and sees only heterosexual performers and icons, and is told those are the only appropriate figures to view in the world, that child will feel immense shame that will negatively impact them for as long as they hold onto it. It is actively damaging.

People talk about seeing queer figures in media as though they’re cigarettes: something unhealthy and bad and wrong, and seeing them look cool means your kids will get evil gay cancer by trying them. This is incorrect, and says so much more about someone’s view of LGBTQ people than it does about a system they made up.

Queer people are not cigarettes. They are not meth. And the fact is, if you’re really worried about your kids suddenly becoming something other than who they really are, due to media influence, I’d ask you to acknowledge that it’s already doing that. So many queer people I know, myself included, never saw themselves fully in media, and even now, only very rarely even though the strides made have been wonderful.

The only thing the increased visibility of queer artists like Lil Nas X will do is show your child that if they are queer, it is beautiful, and it is acceptable, which he has repeatedly done in his response to criticism. And if there’s one thing every parent should want for their child, it’s for them to know they are beautiful and worthy no matter who they are.

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Standing Sex Positions & Why Experts Say You Should Try It

I'm a woman who has a hard time getting out of bed at any time of day, even if there's sex involved. But, I'm resolving to be less lazy, especially when it comes to sex. The reasons to try standing sex at least once are numerous, but at the top of that list is the fact that it can be a supremely fulfilling act.

Whether you spend all day at a desk or on your feet, standing sex is an experience that really does make you weak in the knees. Plus, there are plenty of benefits to trying something new with your partner. But even if you’re an old pro at standing sex, you can still use the act to spice things up.

“The benefits of trying something new — whether standing up or something else — during sex is that it gives couples a new adventure to explore together,” psychologist, sex therapist, and founder of Modern Intimacy, Dr. Kate Balestrieri tells Romper. “You may decide it’s your new go-to position, or you may retire standing up sex after one go. Either way, you get to learn something new about your body, your partner’s body, erogenous areas to explore, or the way a new angle may feel.”

Standing Sex Offers The Chance For Intimacy Outside Of The Bedroom

Not that there's anything wrong with just liking missionary positions that are flat in the bed. After all, missionary sates your craving for face-to-face intimacy during sex, and you can still have that with a standing missionary position. But sometimes you desire a position that lets your partner know you can't wait to get in bed. The urgency and eye-gazing involved in standing sex can deliver this.

“Standing sex allows couples to be more intimate with each other,” certified sex educator Dainis Graveris tells Romper “If you go with positions that would enable prolonged eye contact, you get to be more aroused and vulnerable with your partner.”

It’s also perfect for laundry day — dirty sheets, no problem. No bed required for standing sex.

“Standing sex positions allow couples to have hot, spontaneous quickies. There are times when you just want to get it on and can’t wait to have sex between the sheets, and this position is the perfect solution.” Graveris says. “You don’t need to take all your clothes off. You can even do it anywhere as long as you find a spot where you’re sure not to get caught. But then again, the thought of being caught also makes this experience worthwhile.”

Just think of all of the places you can do it if you’re standing up. (Hint: Countertops are good for more than prepping a delicious meal.) If sex in public is something you fantasize about, or just something you'd like to try, why not give standing sex a whirl? Doorways make the perfect locale for doing it in public.

“Standing sex allows couples to role-play or turn their fantasies into reality — with consent, of course. Not only is your fantasy fulfilled, but also you get to add more excitement and spontaneity to your relationship because you have no idea what your partner will do to you,” Graveris says.

Exploring standing-up sex can also help you learn more about your partner’s sexual fantasies, especially if this is something you haven’t talked about before.

“It is common for partners to have different sexual fantasies and limits, but when couples approach new ideas in an authentic and non-shaming way, even if the original idea does not seem feasible, they may be able to find a collaborative solution that helps them build connection and co-create other possibilities for sexual and emotional intimacy,” Balestrieri adds.

Standing Sex Can Be Good For Your Body

If you spend most of the day hunched over a computer, or you hold your tension in your neck, the last thing you want to do is aggravate your sore body during sex, which is a time to let go and relax. An aching back begs for a release of tension with a romp in the sack. But you don't want to put pressure on your spine when having sex. The solution? Standing sex.

“There are also health benefits of standing up while having sex,” Graveris explains. “These positions require arm, leg, and back strength. Having sex while standing up allows you to work on your core muscle groups, so you’ll have more stamina for sex.”

If you’re having trouble figuring out the logistics of it all, Balestrieri suggests “leveraging a sturdy wall, beam, railing or counter so you don’t have to worry about balancing or overexerting while you’re getting it on.”

Additionally, Graveris explains that “having more standing sex allows couples to increase their libido levels,” which can be incredible for your body and your sex life. “There’s no need to set the right mood or find the right place because you’re ready to have sex at any time.”

Changing Things Up Can Reignite Your Love Life

There's something primal about standing sex. Of course, being carnal with your partner turns you on as well. But there's also nothing wrong with wanting to please your partner. With standing-up sex (or even standing-up oral sex), you can do both. It can be a signal to your partner that you’re up for a more adventurous sex life.

“The best way to bring up a new idea is to bring it up directly, and at a time when you both are relaxed and in a good head space. You may want to consider talking about it in private, especially of you or your partner gets embarrassed easily talking about sex or if the subject has a lot of charge around it,” Balestrieri says.

Talking about your concerns and curiosities about standing sex can help you work through intimacy issues so that you can press ahead and actually engage in the act, which may serve to ignite passions. “Perhaps they are concerned about whether or not they have the physical strength or endurance,” Balestrieri adds. “Sex standing up does not have to be a herculean endeavor, so talking though some of the logistical options can help those fears abate.”

How To Successfully Have Standing Sex

One of the dilemmas of standing sex occurs when there's a dramatic difference in height between you and your partner. But, there are ways to solve the ergonomics of standing sex.

“If you and your partner have a big height difference, grab a stool to get your bodies more aligned. Make sure it is securely in place on the floor, to minimize the risk of it moving just when you find the right spot,” Balestrieri says.

Additionally, Graveris says that couples with height differences can try standing doggy style sex, utilizing countertops to bend over, throwing a leg up to gain leverage, or even trying a standing 69 position if your partner can maintain lifting you while keeping their balance. Just know that standing sex may take some trial and error, so be patient with your partner.

“There are sex props that you can use as well for better weight support,” Graveris says. “Some examples include sex swings, straps, and bars. You can also use sex wedges and ramps for bottom-and-front support.”

“Sometimes trying something new can take a few tries,” Balestrieri adds, but using lube can help streamline the experience, and communication is key. “Talk realistically with each other about any physical injuries or limitations you may have, stretch, and don’t push yourselves beyond your limits.”

Experts:

Dr. Kate Balestrieri, Licensed Psychologist, Certified Sex Therapist and Founder of Modern Intimacy

Dainis Graveris, certified sex educator, relationship expert at SexualAlpha

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What Is A Mucus Plug & What Does It Look Like? Experts Explain

Beyond its cringey name, the mucus plug has a very important function: it protects the cervical canal while you’re pregnant. But chances are as you get closer to having your baby, you’ll have some questions about the mucus plug and pregnancy, like what is it, when are you going to lose it, what happens after it’s lost (hint: it may regenerate). Read on for answers to your most pressing mucus plug questions, though I’m still trying to figure out who gave it that horrific name and why.

What is a mucus plug?

“The mucus plug is a mucus collection that keeps the cervical canal moist and protected. Secretions from the cervix collect and seal the canal with a thick plug of mucus which blocks the entryway to the uterus,” Dr. Lucky Sekhon, fertility specialist and board certified OB/GYN from NYC tells Romper. She adds that the mucus plugs looks like a clear, yellow, or brown blob of jelly. In some cases it may even be reddish or bloody, Kecia Gaither, MD, MPH, FACOG, double board-certified in OB/GYN and Maternal Fetal Medicine, Director of Perinatal Services at NYC Health + Hospitals/Lincoln tells Romper.

Simply put, the mucus plug protects the uterus from outside bacteria. “Functionally, one can think of it as a ‘cork,’ [a] barrier which along with the amniotic fluid protects the baby from the external world,” Gaither says. If the cork analogy ruins wine for you (apologies) you can also think of the mucus plug as a gatekeeper or a door that keeps out unwanted bacteria and germs.

Some of the time it will be obvious that you’ve lost your mucus plug (hello jelly blob in your underwear), but it could be missed, especially as some women pass their mucus plug in small pieces, and not all at the same time, Dr. Sekhon tells Romper.

Many people think that the mucus plug and the “bloody show” (again with the poor naming choices) are one in the same, but that’s not totally accurate. The two go hand-in-hand, and the bloody show typically follows the loss of the mucus plug, though it is not the mucus plug itself. Instead, the bloody show is “mucus from the cervix that is streaked with pinkish to brown blood. It is associated with dilating vessels in the cervix as it ripens and prepares for labor,” Dr. Sekhon says. She adds that any bright red or brisk bleeding should be investigated by your doctor as it could signal a more serious problem.

Is losing your mucus plug a sign of labor?

“Losing your mucus plug is not a definitive sign of labor but it does indicate that your cervix is softening or ripening,” Dr. Sekhon says. “If the mucus is accompanied by contractions or blood, you should call your doctor. The mucus plug can be lost weeks before, or right before the onset of labor.” Gaither adds that typically the loss of the mucus plug will indicate cervical dilation, which could mean labor is (somewhat) near, but no need to be frantically showering and packing a hospital bag because you’ll typically have some time before active labor begins. If you have intense regular contractions along with losing your mucus plug, or your water breaks, call your doctor.

Can you have sex after losing your mucus plug?

Just because you lost your mucus plug doesn’t mean you’ve lost your libido, especially when you consider that some people will lose it weeks or even months before going into labor. If you’re wondering if you can have sex after losing your mucus plug, the answer is likely yes but you will want to check in with your doctor if you’re in the final weeks of pregnancy as your cervix may be too dilated for sex.

Normally, “you can have sex after losing your mucus plug,” Dr. Sekhon tells Romper. “The cervix continues to make more protective mucus. Also the baby is enclosed in an amniotic sac - this protects the fetus from any contaminants or bacteria tracking up from the vaginal canal.”

One thing to keep in mind is that sex could trigger the loss of the mucus plug (so can coughing, sneezing, contractions, or just moving around). “As a woman is preparing for childbirth, her cervix begins to soften and dilate. As a result, the mucus plug can become dislodged,” Dr. Monica Grover, gynecologist at VSPOT Medi Spa, told Romper in a previous article. “This can also occur during intercourse due to the relaxation of the uterus after an orgasm, or the release of hormones such as oxytocin, or the release of prostaglandins.”

Can you lose your mucus plug more than once?

Some people may be concerned when they lose their mucus plug as early as 20-24 weeks, but rest assured that losing the mucus plug early is not associated with preterm labor, as Dr. Annelise Swigert, OB/GYN, told Romper in a previous article, though if you do suspect you lost it early, be sure to let your doctor know.

You could also lose the plug in smaller pieces, as Dr. Sekhon mentioned earlier, which could feel like you’re losing it more than once. If the whole thing does come out in the second or early part of the third trimester, it’s not a big deal. Your body is making more mucus as a normal part of pregnancy and there’s not just one finite mucus plug; it’s totally possible to lose a lot of mucus at one time (enough to constitute a ‘plug’), twice or even three or four times.

Experts:

Dr. Kecia Gaither, M.D., MPH, FACOG, double board-certified in OB/GYN and Maternal Fetal Medicine, Director of Perinatal Services at NYC Health + Hospitals/Lincoln

Dr. Monica Grover, gynecologist at VSPOT Medi Spa

Dr. Lucky Sekhon, fertility specialist and board certified OB/GYN from NYC

Dr. Annelise Swigert, M.D., OB/GYN at Southdale ObGyn

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25 Mother's Day Gifts For Grandma, From Silly To Sentimental

Mother’s Day is coming up quick, but it’s not just a day for mamas with young children. How about the grandmas who raised their own children and now pitch in to help care for their grandchildren? Grandmas provide such a critical role in a family and child’s life. And that’s why you should consider giving them one of these 25 Mother’s Day gifts for grandmothers.

Some of these items are for the grammies who carry around old school brag books; others focus on providing grandmas with some much needed R&R. But all of them were chosen to express to the gran in your life how much she means to you, your family, and your children.

The good news is, the retail industry has caught up with the move to include grandmas in Mother’s Day celebrations, so you won’t have too much trouble tracking these items and their ilk online. Better yet? These gifts span the spectrum of prices ranges so even if you’re not looking to break the bank this holiday season, you can still find something suitable to say “We love you, Grandma.”

Ready to shop? Check out these grandmotherly gifts that the glam-ma in your life will love.

We only include products that have been independently selected by Romper's editorial team. However, we may receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

The Perfect Grandma Mug

She’ll never forget the year that made her a grandma, but let her share that awesome news as well with this charming mug.

A Shirt for A Grammy Who Loves Her Cubs

Does the grandma in your life care for her cubs like a big ol’ grizzly? Then give her a t-shirt that says “we love you beary much.”

A Charm for Grandma

The fun of Alex and Ani jewelry is that the first piece is just a building block. So you can give your Grandma this charm and she can add additional charms she wants, collecting a new one for each grandchild.

A Diaper Bag For Grammy

If Grandma wants to help out, give her a hand with this lovely diaper bag she can make all her own. Now you won’t have to drop one off each time baby comes for a visit.

Grammy Self-Care Bath Bombs

Even Grandma deserves a break, so let her take a good long bath with this luxurious bath bomb soak.

A Silky Sleep Mask

A catnap in a rocking chair may have been the way grandmas of old grabbed some shut-eye. Nowadays you can do your grandma one better with this silk sleep mask.

A DIY Foot Massage

A gift certificate to a spa is fab, but how about having a spa on hand at all times? Now that’s a gift she can really use.

A Little Sleep Serum

Not to oversell the need for sleep, but, well, grandma needs her sleep! You know why? Because you need your sleep and when you can’t get any, she just might be your number one hope for a last minute grandkid sleepover.

A Fresh Shower Cap

I don’t know about you, but the grandmas I know are still using the shower caps they bought back in ‘61. Give her a fresh one to keep her hair protected.

A Handy Gardening Tool Set

Have a gran in your life who loves to garden? This 7 piece set is the perfect gift. Not only does it store all the tools, it doubles as a seat, all the better to get to spring weeding.

For the Grandma Far Away

Not everyone gets to enjoy seeing their grandma each day. If your gram lives across the country, this heart map is a great way to share your love.

A Digital Frame

What’s better than one framed photo of grandkids? Multiple photos that virtually rotate!

Something Pretty & Pastel

Handcrafted in Uganda, these delicate earrings are made with colored bone beads and recycled glass beads, and proceeds go to a good cause (Akola’s mission is to provide employment opportunities to women in Uganda).

A Brag Book About Grandma

You know what never gets old? Reading compliments about yourself. So imagine how good grandma will feel when she gets this book all about her on Mother’s Day.

A Customized Calendar

Mark time by giving your grandma a calendar filled with fun family memories for every month. You can personalize your calendar using Shutterfly’s customization tool.

A Super Beach Recliner

If vacationing with grandma at the beach is a summer tradition, help your Gran take a load off with this zero gravity beach recliner.

A Grandma’s Book of Letters

Want your children to know all about their grandma? Invite her to share personal letters with her grandkids using this charming book.

A Picture Book Just for Grandma

Story time with grandma can be such a special time. So why not make the subject of the snuggle session all about a child and grandma’s relationship?

The Perfect Grandma Sweatshirt

Grandma’s have a reputation for spoiling their grands. And this shirt completely sums that attitude up.

A Playful Wine Glass

OK, so this glass might cause a mother-in-law rift, but if your family has a good sense of humor, both grandmas will see the fun in this wine glass.

A Wall-Mounted Brag Board

Grammys love to brag about their broods, so give them a great way to display their love with this wall-mountable brag board.

A Personalized Rolling Pin

Making cookies with grandma is a childhood favorite. So give your gran a rolling pin with her name or title on it.

A Stunning Bouquet

Flowers are always a good idea. Repeat: Flowers are always a good idea.

A Box of Chocolates

For those with a sweet tooth, there’s nothing better than a box of chocolate. Is that your grandma? Then consider this Mother’s Day gift.

A Picture Perfect Blanket

Even when you’re far away, grandma can snuggle up with her grandkids thanks to this customizable photo blanket. Just find the shots you like and put your own personal twist on the photo throw.

Now go grab the gran in your life a great gift. And don’t forget to include a thoughtful card too!

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Britney Spears Breaks Silence On Documentary About Her Life

Over a month after Framing Britney was released, Britney Spears broke her silence on the documentary. The singer admitted in a lengthy Instagram post that she did not, in fact, watch the entire New York Times documentary, but the parts she did see left her crying “for two weeks.”

Framing Britney, which was released on Hulu and FX in February, looks back at the making of Spears as a young female pop star in the ‘90s and the ongoing battle of her conservatorship in the years since. The documentary was particularly focused on Spears’ frequent attacks in the media, many of whom appeared to relentlessly criticize and mock her for her personal life and mental health struggles, even as she was a young woman trying to navigate motherhood. In 2007, Spears and her ex-husband Kevin Federline were locked in a custody battle over their two sons, Sean Preston and Jayden, and the young mom was followed by paparazzi as she appeared to struggle with her mental health.

Spears has remained silent since the airing of the documentary, even as social media was rife with people calling out her treatment by people like her former boyfriend Justin Timberlake and comedian Sarah Silverman, both of whom have since apologized.

The Framing Britney documentary shed some light on Spears’ treatment over the years, but it still apparently left her upset. On Wednesday, the Grammy award-winning singer finally broke her silence with an Instagram post.

While sharing a video of herself dancing to Aerosmith’s song “Crazy,” Spears addressed her time in the spotlight. “My life has always been very speculated ...watched ... and judged really my whole life !!!,” she wrote,” “I have been exposed my whole life performing in front of people!!! It takes a lot of strength to TRUST the universe with your real vulnerability cause I've always been so judged... insulted... and embarrassed by the media... and I still am till this day!!!!”

“I didn't watch the documentary,” Spears continued, “but from what I did see of it I was embarrassed by the light they put me in ... I cried for two weeks and well .... I still cry sometimes!!!!”

While Spears officially addressed the documentary on Wednesday, back in February she appeared to allude to it in a tweet. “Each person has their story and their take on other people’s stories !!!! We all have so many different bright beautiful lives,” she wrote at the time. “Remember, no matter what we think we know about a person's life it is nothing compared to the actual person living behind the lens!!!”

After spending most of her life in the public eye, who can blame Spears for wanting to just dance off some of her anxiety and cry sometimes? As Spears wrote in her Instagram post this week, “I do what I can in my own spirituality with myself to try and keep my own joy ... love ... and happiness!!!! Every day dancing brings me joy !!! I'm not here to be perfect ... perfect is boring ... I'm here to pass on kindness.”

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Pfizer COVID-19 Vaccine Effective In 12 To 15 Year Olds

The results of a recent clinical trial show Pfizer’s COVID-19 vaccine works in children 12 to 15, the drug makers said Wednesday. In fact, trial results suggest the Pfizer-BioNTech vaccine may actually be more effective at preventing infection in young teens than it is in young adults.

The Pfizer-BioNTech COVID-19 vaccine demonstrated 100% efficacy in a phase 3 clinical trial involving 2,260 adolescents aged 12 to 15 years old with not one single child in the vaccinated group becoming infected with the virus, Pfizer and BioNTech announced in a press release Wednesday. What’s more, the vaccine was found to have produced “robust antibody responses” that exceeded those recorded in trials on individuals age 16 to 25.

“Across the globe, we are longing for a normal life. This is especially true for our children,” BioNTech CEO and cofounder Ugur Sahin said in a statement released alongside trial results. “The initial results we have seen in the adolescent studies suggest that children are particularly well protected by vaccination, which is very encouraging given the trends we have seen in recent weeks regarding the spread of the B.1.1.7 UK variant. It is very important to enable them to get back to everyday school life and to meet friends and family while protecting them and their loved ones.”

According to drug makers, children between the ages of 12 and 15 were also found to have tolerated the Pfizer-BioNTech vaccine well. Reported side effects in this age group remained consistent with the side effects observed in those 16 to 25 years old — namely pain, fever, chills, and fatigue. Participants in the vaccine manufacturers’ most recent trial will continue to be monitored for another two years in an effort to garner information about the vaccine’s long-term protection and safety.

The drug companies behind the Pfizer-BioNTech COVID-19 vaccine said they plan to share the results of their clinical trial with the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) in hopes that the vaccine’s Emergency Use Authorization be expanded to include youth age 12 to 15 before fall.

“We share the urgency to expand the authorization of our vaccine to use in younger populations and are encouraged by the clinical trial data from adolescents between the ages of 12 and 15,” Pfizer Chairman and CEO Albert Bourla said Wednesday. “We plan to submit these data to FDA as a proposed amendment to our Emergency Use Authorization in the coming weeks and to other regulators around the world, with the hope of starting to vaccinate this age group before the start of the next school year.”

While data from the CDC has shown that in-person learning and schools are not behind substantial community transmission of COVID-19, vaccinating children will likely help fast-track a return to normalcy within the classroom. A separate trial testing the effectiveness of the Pfizer-BioNTech vaccine is currently underway on children between the ages of six months and 11 years. Moderna is also testing its COVID-19 vaccine on children as young as six months.

If you think you’re showing symptoms of coronavirus, which include fever, shortness of breath, and cough, call your doctor before going to get tested. If you’re anxious about the virus’s spread in your community, visit the CDC for up-to-date information and resources, or seek out mental health support. You can find all of Romper’s parents + coronavirus coverage here.

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‘SpongeBob SquarePants’ Episodes Pulled Over Storyline Concerns

An episode of SpongeBob SquarePants where characters are forced to quarantine inside the Krusty Krab after someone comes down with "Clam Flu" has been pulled from streaming circulation due to concerns the storyline isn’t appropriate given the current global pandemic. But it isn’t the only episode of the animated children’s series to get the heave-ho. Nickelodeon has pulled two SpongeBob SquarePants episodes over concerns about their storylines.

Nickelodeon has decided to pull “Kwarantined Crab,” an episode from the show’s 12th season, over concerns the virus-focused plot may no longer be a fun and carefree story for children given the ongoing coronavirus pandemic. The episode will no longer air on Nickelodeon and has been removed from the streaming platforms Paramount+ and Amazon.

"We have decided to not air it due to sensitivities surrounding the global, real-world pandemic," a spokesperson for Nickelodeon told CNN Business.

In the episode, a health inspector quarantines diners and employees at the Krusty Krab following an outbreak of “Clam Flu.” As fear takes hold while in quarantine, characters presumed to have the made-up virus are shamed, ostracized, and forced to isolate in a refrigerator by the others. And while SpongeBob SquarePants is a fictional series — and this particular episode was written long before the coronavirus pandemic — it’s hard not to see certain real-life parallels.

Along with a reported rise in prejudice and attacks against members of Asian communities, the coronavirus pandemic has also seen a stigmatization of individuals exposed to the virus. In May, The New York Times spoke to COVID-19 survivors who reported being spurned well after doctors gave them a clean bill of health. In November, medical workers serving on the frontlines of the pandemic told Healthline family and friends had shunned them due to their job’s potential for exposure. So it’s not altogether surprising that Nickelodeon is hesitant to continue airing “Kwarantined Crab.”

The second SpongeBob SquarePants episode to be officially pulled from streaming circulation is “Mid-Life Crustacean,” an episode from Season 3. In the episode, Mr. Krabs joins SpongeBob and Patrick for a night of hijinks in Bikini Bottom. The trio break into a house where they steal a pair of women’s underwear. They’re quickly caught by the owner of the underwear, who is revealed to be Mr. Krab’s own mom. Nickelodeon Executive Vice President of Communications David Bittler told NBC News a standards review had determined some of the episode's story elements were not appropriate for kids.

Both episodes have been removed from Paramount+ and “Mid-Life Crustacean” has been dropped from Amazon Prime Video, which carries the first six seasons of the show.

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Ryan Reynolds Tweets About Getting Vaccinated With A Dad Joke

In true corny dad form, Ryan Reynolds tweeted about getting the COVID-19 vaccine with a joke. As excited as he probably is to get vaccinated, it is just so in keeping with his personality to share the news with a dad joke. And it was a pretty good one, to give him his full credit.

The Deadpool actor has really embraced his goofy side ever since becoming a dad to three girls, 6-year-old James, 4-year-old Inez, and 1-year-old Betty, with wife Blake Lively. Sure, he can get serious and introspective sometimes, as he did last year when he opened up about how much he loves being a dad of girls. “I love being a girl dad," he told Access Hollywood. "I have three daughters, which I never in a million years would have imagined. I come from all boys. I have three older brothers. I'm the youngest of four boys so for me to have three daughters has been such a wild ride and I love every second of it."

Still, he can’t help but crack a joke now and then. As he did when he got his COVID-19 vaccine this week. Alongside a picture of him masked up and wearing a pink beanie while getting the shot, he tweeted, “Finally got 5G.”

For anyone who doesn’t know what Reynolds is hinting at here, there have been rampant conspiracies online that the various COVID-19 vaccines carry 5G microchips and that the 5G technology somehow causes the coronavirus, as reported by Mashable. These theories have been widely debunked by scientists, as the BBC has explained, but conspiracy theories are rarely stopped by scientific evidence. And so it has been with the 5G conspiracy.

Fortunately there are dads like Ryan Reynolds out there poking fun at the 5G conspiracy while getting their vaccine. And he is being applauded for his latest dad joke on social media, with one social media user teasing, “Does Bill Gates receive an email immediately that you are now his slave or...?” Another wrote, “Is this the real story on how you become Green Lantern?”

Reynolds has made quite a reputation for himself as a dad joke connoisseur ever since welcoming daughter James in 2016. In fact, a tweet appeared to get the ball rolling. “Being a father is the single greatest feeling on earth,” he tweeted in July 2016. “Not including those wonderful years I spent without a child, of course.”

Now that he is vaccinated against COVID-19, let’s see if those dad jokes will continue. Hopefully the 5G microchip doesn’t affect his sense of humor.

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10 Beautiful Easter Desserts

From vintage lamb cakes to coconut cupcakes with Peeps on top, these beautiful Easter desserts are also easy to pull together.

View this story on Romper

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Is Brown Discharge A Sign Of Labor? Here's What You Need To Know

As a person with a vagina, you get used to vaginal discharge happening seemingly out of the blue. Maybe it means your period is coming, or that you’re ovulating, or maybe it just means you’re human. But when you’re pregnant, every gush of fluid could be important, especially when you’re nearing the 40-week mark. In your third trimester, you may be wondering, is brown discharge a sign of labor? Read on to find out what experts say.

Is brown discharge a sign of labor?

Like so much about pregnancy, the answer to this question isn’t totally universal for every person. “It is quite possible that a bloody or brownish mucoid discharge may be a sign that the cervix is dilating and the mucus plug may be in the process of being expelled,” Kecia Gaither, MD, MPH, FACOG, double board-certified in OB/GYN and Maternal Fetal Medicine, Director of Perinatal Services at NYC Health + Hospitals/Lincoln tells Romper. But if you see some brownish or rust-colored discharge when you wipe or on your underwear, it doesn’t necessarily mean you need to pack your hospital bag and prepare to give birth within a day or two.

“It is not uncommon to experience all sorts of discharge near the end of pregnancy," Megan Davidson, a Brooklyn-based doula and author of Your Birth Plan, tells Romper. "The mucus plug, for example, can begin to come out as discharge when your cervix is starting to change in preparation for birth. I’ve had clients lose parts of their mucus plug for weeks before labor and this is normal.”

What is the mucus plug? It may have a terrible name, but it has a really important function. “The mucus plug is a mucus collection (it looks like a clear, yellow, or brown blob of jelly) that keeps the cervical canal moist and protected, Dr. Lucky Sekhon, fertility specialist and board certified OB/GYN from NYC, tells Romper. “Secretions from the cervix collect and seal the canal with a thick plug of mucus which blocks the entryway to the uterus.” This acts a protectant, sealing the uterus from bacteria, but when it passes it can sometimes be brownish in color.

Is discharge during pregnancy normal?

“An increase in vaginal discharge is common in pregnancy," Natalie Nix, CNM, MSN, Certified Nurse Midwife at Roswell OB/GYN in Atlanta, GA, told Romper in a previous article. "This is how the vagina 'keeps itself clean' in preparation for labor,” she added, but it can still be alarming, especially when tinged with brown that looks a bit like blood. Discharge is usually nothing to worry about, but if it’s accompanied by pain or cramping, or something feels off to you, always check in with your doctor or nurse.

Other signs of labor

Brown discharge during pregnancy, especially toward the end, may be a sign that your mucus plug has or is passing, but it’s not definitely a sign that labor is imminent. It could just mean that your doctor recently checked your cervix for signs of progress, or even that you had sex recently. "If you’ve recently had an internal exam, the exam can cause cramping, discharge of mucus, and small amounts of bleeding — but this is not necessarily the beginning of labor," Davidson tells Romper.

So what are more definitive signs of labor? These will vary by person and by pregnancy, but “early signs of labor may include back or lower abdominal pain, rupture of membranes, fatigue, diarrhea, vomiting. For any of these symptoms, inclusive of the brown, bloody discharge, it’s best to seek medical attention,” Gaither says. If labor is happening, you may experience contractions that are occurring at regular intervals and feel more intense than Braxton Hicks, Sekhon says. Your water may break like you see in the movies, but it also may not.

So, if you experience brown discharge during your third trimester, it could mean that labor is close, but most likely you still have time to finish decorating the nursery and washing all those adorable clothes.

Experts:

Kecia Gaither, MD, MPH, FACOG, double board-certified in OB/GYN and Maternal Fetal Medicine, Director of Perinatal Services at NYC Health + Hospitals/Lincoln

Megan Davidson, a Brooklyn-based doula and author of Your Birth Plan

Dr. Lucky Sekhon, fertility specialist and board certified OB/GYN from NYC

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An Animal Crossing Discord Is Where I Found My New Mom Group

When I got pregnant in 2019 with a due date in March 2020, I knew I lacked support but wasn’t worried. I didn’t really have family or friends who were at the ruin-my-free-time-with-a-kid stage in life nearby, but I would find my own community! How hard could it really be? There are apps for that, right?

I had daydreams of strollers parked in a circle around us at an Instagrammable cafe. A group of women bouncing similar-aged babies on their legs, lovingly laughing at our sleep-deprived selves. Complaining about partners and correcting each other when one of us starts a sentence with “I know I’m a bad mom but ...” A mom group. No, a Cool Mom group. Becoming a part of one seemed like a rite of passage into parenthood, and I was so excited to find other like-minded moms (or dads!) whom I could commiserate in the trenches of child care with or turn to for support. Look, it was March 2020 — you know what happened next.

Discord, the self-proclaimed “No. 1 app for gamers,” is almost the exact opposite of a cafe surrounded by strollers, but the Animal Crossing Discord “Critter Keepers” for March mamas was where I found my people.

I’ll admit, when we first went into lockdown, I was slightly thrilled. Oh, no one will bother me while I heal and bond with my child and I’m not missing out on anything? Great! But then the scary reminder of what we were avoiding would rear its head. Like the one-parent rule at the pediatrician — I stayed behind in hopes of getting some rest, but instead I paced the apartment worried. Or crying over breastfeeding woes because I didn’t want to Zoom a lactation consultant and the classes at the hospital were canceled. Or when neighbors dropped off food, which we scarfed down graciously and then made ourselves sick worrying if it was safe.

Somehow, throughout all this, I committed myself to being hopeful, and I set out to find some sort of parental community that worked for me. This was more of a challenge than I thought.

The local neighborhood parent forum was tough to read (mostly because it worked like a website from the ’90s) and was so serious. There were no reaction GIFs or jokes about babies being *ssholes (which they are). I did try to do a couple of socially distant outside meetups through the group. A turning point came when a maskless mom helped herself to my blanket while her baby crawled over to my child and sat on her. Maybe I wasn’t cut out for in-person yet.

Facebook groups destroyed new parents like they were our democracy. Members were toxic, constantly fighting, putting others down, and dividing into like-minded subgroups.

I joined a Slack channel, which seemed promising but then it became focused on a few moms who rarely let others have their time. Oh, and I made the mistake of mentioning my daughter (5 months old at the time) enjoyed sippy cups. A group called Momerinos, moms who enjoyed True Crime, was promising, but I had trouble connecting because most of the members had older kids, plus cold cases and serial killer stories, things I used to anxiously devour, no longer soothed my new-mom brain.

Reddit Bumpers was thrilling when I was pregnant (Pregnancy updates! Nursery photos! Pets wearing baby clothes!) but slowed way down once everyone posted their birth stories. I continued to lurk and occasionally post until I saw a post inviting moms to join an Animal Crossing group on Discord.

It was a way to interact with people safely. I can’t tell you how many times I visited the clothing store in the game just to pretend I was in a Target in real life.

Desperate for some sort of interaction while I spent hours breastfeeding, I had finally purchased Animal Crossing New Horizons right at the tail end of its popularity, when my daughter was around 4 months old. The only thing I knew was that it had animals and that it was basically a never-ending chores list. What more could a girl want? While the game can be played solo, it’s more enjoyable when you can interact with other users by visiting their islands to exchange items, make money (bells), and hang out while communicating using minimal avatar reactions. There’s a reason some joked that Nintendo planned the game’s release with the pandemic. It was a way to interact with people safely. I can’t tell you how many times I visited the clothing store in the game just to pretend I was in a Target in real life. After four months of grinding out (catching bugs and fish) and finally getting all the rooms in my house (paying a mortgage to a raccoon… it’s a fun game!), I started to find other people to play with by searching Twitter to see who would open their island to strangers. I once went to a 13-year-old’s treasure hunt birthday party. (I found some socks.) So I was thrilled, when my two pastimes of trying to connect with other parents and decorating a fake island were merging.

I joined Critter Keepers, a private, invite-only Discord group, six months ago, and it’s one of the most joyous things in my postpartum life. Groups on Discord are mainly for communicating with other gamers through chat, streaming, and voice message. It’s set up a lot like Slack since you join groups and communicate on different channels within them. Kamielle, the group’s creator, worked hard to organize topics into two channels: Animal Crossing (design inspo, tips, flying invites) and parenthood (food, rants, tears, and of course, pictures). Critter Keepers is her favorite of the several Discords that she runs or admins. She is naturally warm and maternal even through the same lifeless screen you’ve been staring at for months, especially to people like me who stumbled onto Discord for the first time. As a second-time mom, Kamielle has provided sage wisdom to us first-time moms without being condescending, plus she’s the hook up if we ever need anything for our islands. (She has her ways.) I don’t know how she’s managed to collect a group of strangers who not only get along but are fun and supportive as well. We all seem to be what we were looking for.

Michelle is the group’s fierce cheerleader. She’s the first one to tell members they are awesome, gorgeous, smart, or whatever we need to hear someone say. And is quick to post one of my favorites of the group’s emojis, a blob with a knife, if someone’s partner isn’t being supportive enough. She found soap-making as a hobby and sent us all some. Through the group’s encouragement, she’s launching her own soap store. We helped her come up with a name and are some of her first customers. One member very graciously designed an incredible, probably award-winning new logo for her. (It was me.)

On Tuesdays, another member, Sara, streams Japanese teen dramas for us to watch together. We celebrated the new year in Animal Crossing at 8 p.m., all gathered on one island. I was devastated to learn I missed the hot dog party where everyone dressed their avatars up as hot dogs and danced. Next month we are doing another island-hopping event. The first one happened soon after I joined and was one of the first “mom” events I ever participated in.

If I need to talk, they are always in my pocket. They’ve made me laugh and cry tears of joy, helped me be a better mom to my baby, and helped me feel less lonely in this long time of isolation.

A few weeks ago, we all took pictures of the heaviest thing our new breasts can hold underneath them. We’ve done gift exchanges, vent sessions, discussed The Bachelor, and begged each other for more baby photos. If I need to talk, they are always in my pocket. They’ve made me laugh and cry tears of joy, helped me be a better mom to my baby, and helped me feel less lonely in this long time of isolation.

Months later, I realize why an Animal Crossing mom group was what I needed. The game naturally lends itself to having you help others and making you ask for help in order to succeed. People who play and seek out others seem to be naturally generous. If any of us needed materials to make furniture or had hard to get items we were pining for, all we had to do is ask each other. Soon, asking for materials turned into asking what kind of solid foods we should feed our babies or tips on how to get a breastfeeding clog out. And while we all had the same tools and islands to start off with, it was neat to see how others created their own paths. Same with parenthood. We just want to help each other create happy things.

Oddly enough, my gratitude for finding a mom group that is as supportive and loving as this one has helped me find my way back to the optimistic woman I was a year ago. Friendship as an adult is tricky enough without the bonus societal hurdles we place on parents to get everything right. You just have to be open to finding it in seemingly unlikely places, like from a fictional woodland creature on an imaginary island, while breastfeeding at 3 a.m.

Header Photo Credit: Future Publishing, Sara Monika/Getty Images, Animal Crossing

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Stop Giving Parents Advice From Other Cultures On Raising Children

In April 2020, roughly two months after New York City shut down due to the coronavirus outbreak, my husband sent me an op-ed in the New York Times about what American parents (read: mothers) could learn from other cultures to manage the emergent chaos of trying to work while minding their cooped-up kids. Drawing from her research in far-flung populations, from the Inuit to the Mayans to Tanzanians, the writer extrapolated how to “turn your demanding child into a productive coworker.” The trick of it? Teach your kid to work, and then ignore them.

My husband sent me the piece to be helpful, I think. It was the early days of Covid, and I was home full-time with my two toddler sons trying to conduct phone interviews while my children constantly interrupted. A breakdown seemed imminent. And yet the op-ed, nudging me to train my kids to be productive, autonomous mini-mes, felt less like a liberation manual than the latest manifestation of that favorite internet genre: You’re Doing It Wrong. Not only that, but someone else, in an entirely different context, is doing it better.

Our obsession with other cultures’ approach to parenting seems to rest on the weird idea that childhood should be this prelapsarian experience, in which kids run through daisy fields or fish for trout in creeks or die of diphtheria or whatever it is we all did before the internet.

This is now a regular trope in American parenting culture: they’re doing it better over there. There are lots of different “over theres”; the op-ed writer sought parenting wisdom in ancient cultures, but American parents have also pounced on childrearing methods in contemporary societies, from Europe to Asia. Surveying what is now a whole sub-category of parenting advice, you’d think that foreign children are practically invincible: French kids don’t eat between meals; Japanese kids run their own errands starting at age 3; Scandinavian kids walk naked through the snow. And on it goes.

Over there, they do not buy STEM toys for toddlers or monitor infant heart rates with smart socks or speak to their children in phrases approved by child therapists. Over there, adults miraculously retain their own identities and free time whilst simultaneously fostering independence and healthy self-esteem in their offspring. But are American parents to blame for their own anxiety around childrearing, which research suggests is the highest in the developed world? Or are we each expected to compensate for the structural inequities built into American parenting, inequities that I’d bet my last organic teething ring would leave the chillest hygge parent on edge?

Our obsession with our own overparenting and other cultures’ supposedly more laissez-faire approach seems to rest on the weird idea that childhood throughout history (“before” is yet another “over there”) was — and still is, outside our national borders — this prelapsarian experience, in which kids were free to run through daisy fields or fish for trout in creeks or die of diphtheria or whatever it is we all did before the internet, without adults lording over them with math worksheets all day.

While it is true that I was left to my own devices a lot as a child, and generally think of that time as formative and enjoyable, approximately none of it was spent working quietly alongside my parents. Instead, 90% was dominated by two activities: roaming around outside unsupervised, or watching television. Letting my children do the former would probably get me arrested these days where I live, and the latter, well, we all know the perils of that.

Nobody is actually interested in going back to the ‘80s, when car seats were essentially optional, and a major part of our kindergarten curriculum was learning what to do if we caught on fire while alone.

The invective against the evils of over-attentive parenting also ignores the reality of how this generation of American parents thinks about child-rearing. While many of us realize that our current level of childhood management is extreme, nobody is actually interested in going back to the ‘80s, when car seats were essentially optional, and a major part of our kindergarten curriculum was learning what to do if we caught on fire while alone. Also, if you don’t send enough snacks to a contemporary daycare, they scold you, as does anyone who sees you take a child out without a hat.

Most of us are doing our best to thrash out our own middle path. The other day I was served an ad for a workshop about “mindful potty-training.” I had an agonizing time potty-training my older son, and I probably should rethink my approach now that his brother is getting ready to ditch diapers. But given that the last thing I personally want to do once I get my kids into bed is think more about parenting, I watched a six-part docuseries about cults instead.

We can’t just import other cultures’ parenting styles any more than we can turn back the clock, which is why all those paeans to foreign parenting do little more than reveal our cultural tendency to turn to self-help — the more exotic-seeming, the better — instead of demanding policy changes designed to benefit American families.

If parents living in virtually every Over There seem less stressed about giving their kids a leg up than parents in America do, that’s because those nations have robust social services, ample parental leave, and minimal college tuition. In a place that has none of these things, it makes sense that parents would focus more on optimizing their children’s futures: better school performance or a wider variety of extracurriculars could mean the difference between free college and a lifetime of crippling debt, to pick just one logical reason for parental over-involvement. In other words, don’t hate the player, hate the game.

If you don’t want to be an intensive parent, you can start by refusing to cosplay as an Inuit.

Once, an academic I was interviewing about the anti-vaccine movement for a piece said something sympathetic about the parents — by and large mothers — who developed vaccine hesitancy. These women, the researcher said, were in many ways the victims of a society that put the burden squarely on them to make educated choices about their children’s well-being, while offering little by way of financial assistance, community support, or education.

The conversation profoundly shifted the way I thought about that demographic, and more broadly about the pressure parents face to sift through the mountains of cultural input they receive about their parenting choices, much of which is influenced by history, capitalism, and a very rational — if occasionally outsized — anxiety about how to raise a kid to thrive in America, a place where practical and emotional help is in short supply.

If you don’t want to be an intensive parent, you can start by refusing to cosplay as an Inuit. And if you want to be the parent who packs your kid’s calendar with activities and always has the perfect non-toxic snack pouches stuffed to the brim with nut-free trail mix on hand, I won’t judge you (although I may ask to sample the trail mix). Unfortunately for us, there isn’t a stern but loving British nanny waiting to swoop in and fix our very American parenting errors (unless you signed a deal with Netflix), but maybe they aren’t really errors. Maybe the British (or Dutch, or Swedish) nanny isn’t really our savior after all. A bajillion months into the pandemic, I’m fairly certain that meaningful change for American parents lies not in fetishizing another culture, but in our government offering parents meaningful support. Until that happens, I’ll be on my couch, catching up on the cults.

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Exclusive: 'Betches Mom' Podcast Tackles Pregnancy, Motherhood & More

You’ve been following them for years on Instagram for their funny, honest, and unfiltered takes on life and now the brand is taking on motherhood with a new podcast. Hosted by Betches CEO & Co-Founder Aleen Dreksler and Art Director Brittany Levine, Betches Media is launching the Betches Moms podcast that admits, yeah, kids are annoying and cost way too much, but they’re also basically our favorite people, so we deal with it

Betches began in 2011 as an anonymous blog satirizing millennial college-girl (“betch”) culture as a corollary to the rise of “bro culture.” Since then, Betches Media has evolved far beyond the website and grown social media and podcast audiences of millions (oh yeah, and a few New York Times best-selling books for good measure). Now, Betches Moms is bringing its humor (and unflinching honesty) to motherhood... and all the impossible standards, judgment, and accidentally peeing when you sneeze that goes with it.

“We have grown up with our audience and Betches Moms feels like a natural next step,” Dreksler and Levine tell Romper. “We wanted to create a fun and safe space for women to ask anything and get the advice they may be nervous to ask for.”

As many of us can attest, social media — with its unlimited retakes and many filters — don’t sufficiently prepare us for parenthood. So, every week, Dreksler (currently pregnant with her first child) and Levine (also pregnant with a toddler at home) will keep it real, sharing stories, insights, and having honest conversations about what it’s really like being and becoming a mom. A lineup of special guests from child-and maternal-care experts, therapists, and celebrity moms will be there to help them suss it all out. From COVID vaccines during pregnancy to postpartum sex to how to get your toddler to stop doing that annoying thing they do? They want to talk about it all.

“The most important thing is we want [listeners] to walk away feeling like they are not alone,” Dreksler and Levine explain. “Our goal is to talk about everything, especially the hard stuff. We want them to feel as if they just hung out with one of their best friends.”

To get a taste of what’s in store on Betches Moms, enjoy Romper’s exclusive sneak peek of the first episode featuring actress Rachel Bilson below.

Betches Moms premieres on April 5 on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts with new episodes dropping every Monday and Wednesday.

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