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Monday, October 31, 2022

Julia Roberts Reveals MLK Paid The Hospital Bill For Her Birth


Julia Roberts has a special connection to Martin Luther King Jr. and his wife, Coretta Scott King. During a recent conversation with CBS News reporter Gayle King for the History Channel, the 55-year-old Academy Award-winning actress revealed that the Kings paid the hospital bill for her birth to help out her parents “out of a jam.”

“The King family paid for my hospital bill,” Roberts told King during the sit-down in an interview clip shared by Zara Rahim on Twitter. Roberts said her parents, Walter and Betty Lou Roberts, who were both activists as well, could not pay for the hospital and the Kings helped them.

Roberts went on to share how her parents got involved with the King family. Before Roberts was born, her parents owned a theater school called the Actors and Writers Workshop in Atlanta and the Kings reached out about enrolling their kids. “One day Coretta called my mother and asked if her kids could be part of the school because they were having a hard time finding a place that would accept her kids,” Roberts shared with King. “My mom was like, ‘Sure, come on over,’ and so they all just became friends and they helped us out of a jam.”

King awed by Roberts' story replied, “In the ’60s, you didn’t have little Black children interacting with little white kids in an acting school, and your parents were like, ‘Come on in.’ I think that’s extraordinary, and it sort of lays the groundwork for who you are.”

Roberts was born on Oct. 28, 1967, in Smyrna, Georgia. Rahim posted a clip from the interview in honor of The Pretty Woman star’s 55th birthday last week.

This isn’t the first time the story of Roberts’ family connection with the Kings has gone viral on Twitter. In August 2021, Ashley Reynolds, a senior celebrity producer of The Kelly Clarkson Show, tweeted a viral thread about Roberts’ childhood and the two families’ “close friendship.” In her thread, Reynolds shared an essay about Roberts’ parents' theater, written by Phillip DePoy in 2013. He recounted how the Ku Klux Klan blew up a car outside Roberts’ parents’ school after Yolanda, the eldest King daughter, was cast in a play in which she kissed DePoy, who was white. “It takes a lot of rehearsal to get a stage kiss just right. And, as it turned out, kissing was, at that time, the most important aspect of the theater, at least for me. But no amount of rehearsal could have prepared us for an exploding Buick,” DePoy wrote.

Reynolds also posted a transcript from an old interview with CNN. Speaking with the news outlet, Roberts, her mother, and Yolanda King discussed a racial incident in 1990 when a bar owner would not let Julia’s friend inside because was Black. Roberts would later call the town racist and they would boycott. As for the relationship between both families and the theater company, Yolanda called it an extended one.

“It was an extended family, it really was,’” Yolanda King told CNN in 1990. “And all of those Black kids and white kids getting, no problems. We had no problems whatsoever, no racial problems.”


Ciara & Her Daughter's Halloween Costume Are Venus & Serena's 'Got Milk' Ad


Ciara and her 5-year-old daughter Sienna channeled two tennis legends with their costumes this Halloween. The mommy-daughter duo morphed into Venus and Serena Williams from their infamous “Got Milk?” campaign from the 1990s and the attention to detail is impressive!

The two twinned in all black outfits with their hair styled in Venus and Serena’s signature braids with white beads. They even posed with the white milk mustache that the sisters wore in the iconic campaign. “Got Milk? The Best To Ever Do It. 🐐🐐 @Serenawilliams@Venuswilliams#CiCiSiSi#Halloween,” Ciara captioned a picture of herself and Sienna in their costumes on Instagram.

The “Level Up” singer’s fans loved the Halloween look. One commented under the photo, “You win every year! Mariah Carey is the Queen of Christmas and you’re coming for the Halloween title! Slay!” Another commented, “This is too cute 😍 I remember they had those ads in our cafeteria in grammar school.”

The original “Got Milk” ad by the sisters was shot in 1999, five years after supermodel Naomi Campbell kicked off the celebrity campaign with the famous milk mustache. In 2014, the campaign was put to rest and replaced with a new slogan called, “Milk Life.”

Needless to say, Ciara and Sienna nailed this look. This actually isn’t the first time Ciara has rocked a milk mustache this year. Last month, the “Treats” singer and her youngest son, Win, showed off their Chick-fil-A milkshake mustache in a cute video on Instagram.

Ciara and her kids really love to get into the Halloween spirit. In 2019, Sienna and her brother Future dressed up as Michael and Janet Jackson. Their custom-made costumes apparently cost between $1,200 to $1,400 according to E!. The year before in 2018, Ciara’s husband, Russell Wilson, got into the Halloween spirit and dressed as Black Panther himself. Sienna and Future, were mini versions of Nakia and Black Panther, and Ciara was the heroine, Nakia.

As for Ciara, she can do bad all by herself! Last year, the “1,2 Step” singer channeled late Mexican-American singer Selena Quintanilla and performed a rendition of her song, “Bidi Bidi Bom Bom.” She also dressed up as Chili from TLC, paying homage to the iconic R&B girl group. The year before she gave us Cardi B, remaking the rapper’s Invasion of Privacy album cover and Future channeled a mini version of Offset.

There’s no debate here, Ciara is truly the queen of Halloween!


ParentsTogether Warns Of Rise Of Fentanyl Deaths Among Teens


Amy Neville describes her 14-year-old son, Alexander (called Alex), as a “normal, average teenager with a loving and supportive family” before his death on June 23, 2020. He was, his family says, a highly empathetic big thinker full of curiosity and a drive to be better. But as Alex got older, those trademark big feelings turned to hurt, which he began to self-medicate. He died from fentanyl poisoning — a drug he mistook for something else he purchased on Snapchat. Unfortunately, Alex’s story shines a light on a troubling trend in teen overdose deaths. In a statement, ParentsTogether, a national parent and family advocacy group, is warning members about rising fentanyl deaths among teens and the role social media often plays in this grim statistic.

Overdose deaths among teens have soared in the past two years.

While drug use rates among American teenagers remain at an all-time low, overdose deaths spiked precipitously in 2020 and again in 2021, according to research published in the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA). Researchers found 518 deaths in 2010, and a steady rate of 492 deaths each subsequent year through 2019. In 2020, that number soared to to 954 deaths and 1,146 deaths in early 2021. Children of color have been the hardest hit by the fentanyl crisis, with the highest increase in deaths among Indigenous, Latinx, and Black youth.

A reason for this terrible uptick is due to the pervasive use of non-pharmaceutical fentanyl in counterfeit pills. At 50 times stronger than heroin, it takes less fentanyl to kill than other drugs. If someone takes a pill thinking it’s, for example, OxyContin, but it’s actually laced with fentanyl (or straight fentanyl), the results could be deadly. Unfortunately, many people do not realize they’re consuming fentanyl, as was the case with Alex Neville and many, many others. The Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) posits that a third of all counterfeit pills contain fentanyl. Synthetic opioids like fentanyl are responsible for 66% of overdose deaths in the United States.

Drug poisoning or overdose is the leading cause of death among Americans 18 to 45, according to data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Among children, substance abuse is the sixth most common cause of death, per data from the Kaiser Family Foundation.

ParentsTogether warns of the role social media plays in drug sales.

Social media apps have changed the way many companies and individuals do business, and drug dealers are no exception. The DEA confirms that apps like SnapChat, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, and others are regularly used to sell illegal drugs of all sorts.

“Prospective buyers contact drug traffickers on social media apps in response to their advertisements — either using direct messaging or by commenting on a post,” the agency writes in a statement, noting that coded hashtags or a series of emojis are commonly used to avoid detection. “Once contact is made, drug traffickers and potential buyers often move to an encrypted communications app like WhatsApp, Signal, and Telegram.”

ParentsTogether urges tech companies to address the crisis of drug sales on their platforms, suggesting steps such as flagging posts that promote the sale of drugs online with a warning about the pervasiveness of fentanyl in street drugs; more careful monitoring of known outlets used to coordinate the production of drugs on apps (deleting listings for chemicals used to make fentanyl, for example); and provide a free platform for evidence-based resources that provide information and tools to parents and kids about substance use, treatment, harm reduction, and safety.

“While parents do as much as we can to keep kids safe, we are often left with no choice but to rely on social media platforms to take the health and safety of our kids seriously — and put their well being over profit,” said Pulin Modi, campaigns director at ParentsTogether. “These powerful companies have no excuses when it comes to child safety. There are clear fixes, and the companies must take the necessary steps to protect kids from fentanyl-induced death.”

Some parents are suing Snapchat, alleging the app enabled their children’s deaths.

Families of children who died of overdose have filed a lawsuit against Snap, Inc. for what they see is a major design flaw for a product marketed to children, according to reporting from Insider. “The product design of Snap, most notably its disappearing message feature which is engineered to evade parental supervision and law enforcement's detection and acquisition of criminal evidence, was the direct and proximate cause of the untimely and tragic deaths and injuries at issue in this complaint,” the Los Angeles filing reads.

Alex’s parents, Amy and Aaron, are part of the lawsuit, and note that Alex only “met” the dealer who supplied the drugs for his fatal overdose via Snapchat. “They did not know each other in real life. The two would never have connected but for Snapchat,” the filing reads.

Social media apps say they’re actively combatting illicit business dealings on their platforms.

Snap, who disputed the accuracy of some of the claims made in the suit to Insider, notes on its website that it took action against nearly 144,000 drug-related accounts from July to December of 2021. This does not include, the New York Times reports, the 88% of drug-related content that was preemptively detected by the company’s software. Search terms associated with drug sales, like “fenta,” “xanax” among others, blocks results and redirects users to an in-app video channel with content from nonprofit groups and the CDC that warn of the dangers of prescription pills and the prevalence of counterfeit pills made with fentanyl.

Parents can take steps to help protect their children.

In addition to addressing internet safety with your children (and being aware, to the best of your ability, of which apps they’re using), the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) encourages parents have an honest, open dialogue with their children about the dangers of drugs starting at a young age. Early discussions might be about depictions of drug use (including cigarettes and alcohol) in media. The AAP suggests talking while doing something else (particularly something that doesn’t require eye contact, like driving or going for a walk), can feel less awkward and encourage more openness and honesty.

Be prepared, especially as kids get older, to answer questions they have with honesty and without judgement. Be sure children are aware of the use of fentanyl in pills that are not labeled, marketed, or sold as containing the drug. ParentsTogether recommends keeping naloxone (also called Narcan) at home or on your person; advice that is echoed by the CDC. Naloxone is a medication that can be either injected or administered via a nasal spray that can reverse an overdose from opioids — including heroin, fentanyl, and prescription opioid medications — when given in time. The CDC also suggests that fentanyl testing strips as an effective harm reduction strategy if you use drugs that might be laced with fentanyl.


My Daughter Wanted To Be Elsa But I Made Her Go As A Dumpy Owl


Last September, my 4-year daughter announced to us one day that she had decided she would be Elsa for Halloween. Our young neighbor, an exuberant 3-year-old who never goes into a project half-assed, had become obsessed, as young girls do, with Frozen, and it had already been the dominant IP in our house for months. Her choice shouldn’t have been surprising, but when I thought about my daughter, inventor of worlds, scrappy rascal, teller of jokes from the toilet, donning a store-bought princess dress and trotting out her conformity for all the town to see, I cringed. No kid of mine was going to be a basic bitch. I slowly coaxed her to go with a much more respectable choice, an unbranded owl, and commissioned a handmade costume from my mother, who would have happily made an Elsa dress had she been asked.

The owl costume arrived, an exquisite display of love and skill, adorned with hundreds of hand-affixed feathers and stuffed in the rump so that my daughter’s lithe, delicious body resembled an egg when she tried it on. At first she was confused by the whole thing, where to put her arms so the wings would flap, how to fasten the mortarboard headpiece, what to make of her transformation into something that was certainly not a princess. But soon she came to love it, carefully stepped into it and flew around the living room, proudly represented at her preschool Halloween parade, where every single child in her class was either a firefighter or a PJ Masks character, and took it for a spin around the block trick-or-treating until she announced with satisfaction that she was done with Halloween and wanted to go home and sort her “collection.”

Watching her that week (yes, Halloween is a week long if you have kids under 12), a nocturnal, brown and beige, supposedly-wise mouse-eater among all those lemmings, I felt so self-satisfied. But when Halloween was over, and she informed me that all she wanted for Christmas was an Elsa dress, I felt a tinge of panic, and later, something like shame.

Much has been written lately, to my delight, about momfluencer culture. Pornographically perfect lunches, birthday parties that require themes and planning spreadsheets, handmade Halloween costumes, ahem, all tell the lie, filtered through women but invented by men, that motherhood is the role women were meant to play, and that playing it involves a magazine-spread-worthy level of organization, perfection, and self-sacrifice. I am not immune to this. But there is a spinoff of this culture, very visible in my Bay Area parenting community, that the owl incident invoked for me; this quest, for progressive mothers, to have interesting children. There is a collective insistence, among people who otherwise would scoff at parents dressing their children or dictating their after-school interests, that subcultures are better than the mainstream, that wearing black is better than wearing pink (except for boys, where pink is super rad), and a child exploring their gender identity is a sort of progressive parenting badge of honor. It is pervasive in my corner of mommyland, and as you can already tell, I am guilty of perpetuating it.

One of the reasons I want my daughter to embrace the margins is because that’s where I’ve most found companionship: not in the Elsas of the world, but in the owls.

I feel it arise in myself and in others when another white mom confides that her children just love sushi, or when it’s revealed that a friend of my daughter’s refuses to wear dresses because they’re “too girly,” or when I hear a badass neighborhood girl with an androgynous name tell me that for Halloween, she wants to be not Hermione but a Dementor, and I think, “I wish my kids were that cool.” Of course, there are limits to what most parents are willing to consider as desirable levels of quirkiness. Though I know many autistic children worth bragging about, for instance, but I don’t think their parents are often invited to do so.

If I’m being cynical, I believe we parents do this because, like the momfluencers, we see our children as accessories. It’s the same shit, just trading leather wrist cuffs for sequined hair bows. If I’m being generous, I think there’s something protective in our wish that our children reject the dominant narratives — we know that conformity never really got us anywhere, so we’d rather our children signal rebellion, even if it is perhaps just in the service of conforming to their parents’ taste for nonconformity. One of the reasons I want my daughter to embrace the margins is because that’s where I’ve most found companionship: not in the Elsas of the world, but in the owls. I’m more terrified, in a way, of her being conventionally attractive, feminine, high-achieving than I am of her not being these things. It’s more likely that she’ll find a path to herself in the metal bands, the debate teams, the funny girls, I tell myself. But in my heart I know that rather than being a surefire means toward liberation from standards of femininity, masculinity, and cool, these places have their own versions of exclusion, too. Even as a drama nerd, we all knew who was going to be cast as Abigail Williams in our high school’s production of The Crucible, and who (me) would be the best friend, Mercy, who didn’t have even one sexy scene with John Proctor.

After I had my first child, a son, a friend who was expecting a female baby expressed her terror at the idea of raising a daughter. It did, I agreed, sound daunting. Sure, there was always some variability, but boys, we believed, were straightforward. Even as we vowed to help them unpack their privilege, it protected them. Raising girls, on the other hand, was full of landmines. People would underestimate them. They would learn to compare their bodies to unachievable, arbitrary ideals. They would binge or purge or starve and, when, if they were lucky enough to locate the sources of their pain as anywhere outside themselves, they would blame their mothers.

I was just barely learning to unpack and undo all of the damage that being a girl had done to my psyche. How could I possibly manage to go in for another round?

When my son was born, my husband was not terrified. He figured that, if his son discovered therapy sooner than the 40 years it had taken him, his work was done. When I learned that my second child, growing in my uterus, would be born with a vagina, I was haunted by this conversation. I was just barely learning to unpack and undo all of the damage that being a girl had done to my psyche. How could I possibly manage to go in for another round? In my mind, the Elsa dress was the beginning of this trial. But, in fact, it started the moment my daughter was born, and it wouldn’t end in my hiding her away like Persephone in a dumpy owl suit.

While being a girl can be treacherous, one of the many bummer things about the patriarchy is that it ruins women from having their own relationship to aspects of womanhood that can actually be quite joyous and that are even envied by many men. I am a woman who, at almost 40, loves getting dolled up, but even now when I’m not explicitly performing for anyone, it’s hard for me to do it without imagining how many times in my life I did it under psychological duress. Before I had a daughter, I used to put on “fashion shows” for my husband and son, not because I wanted their approval, but because playing with my appearance felt like an art form, and I wanted to celebrate how liberated I felt from the girl I used to be. My son would join in, piling on my accessories (he clearly had not heard the famous Coco Chanel quote) and begging for “lipstick kisses.” Now, I keep my fashion shows to myself, lest my daughter absorb more than she already is about her looks being paramount. When my son runs back into his room before we head out to an event and makes everyone wait in suspense while he changes into a button-up shirt and bow tie, which he expects us to ooh and aah at, it is not loaded in the least. But when my daughter puts on a tutu and says, “Mama, I’m pretty now,” I am so overwhelmed by my own fear of this incredible person sacrificing herself up to the beauty gods that I cannot be in any way curious about what she means by that, let alone entertain the idea of validating her good feelings.

But the liberating and terrifying thing about parenting in our culture is that it is likely that the decisions we make in these moments, to let our kids dress as princesses, to compliment our daughters’ appearances, to reinforce unconventional instincts and not basic ones, make little to no impact on our children. Children pick up on the greater overall context of our personal choices and interactions — whether we eat for pleasure, whether we enjoy our own bodies — but they don’t keep a tally of exactly how many times we praised their minds versus their looks. Maybe modeling how messy it all is — that somewhere down the line we did think only of how others perceived us but now we’ve found satisfaction in our own perception — is the only path forward because it is honest, and because their journey on the socio-cultural carpet ride is not something we can stop, not really even something we can truly prepare ourselves for.

And though I will never stop praising her intelligence or spunk or generosity, in the dark, with all $19.99 of her costume aglow, I think to myself that she is absolutely radiant.

The dumpy owl taught me that neatly packaging eccentricity for my children, like it’s something they can buy at a kids store that only sells wood and wool, is not much different than the ways that Disney neatly packages conformity. And it made me think that all people, in a way, experience outsiderness and fear that very experience for their children. When even Meghan Markle insists that she was ugly in high school, perhaps not a one of us believes we’re basic. Maybe our stories of being alternative are just attempts to work through the pain of having failed to live up to society’s standards, which means we’re in the same camp as literally everyone. Maybe, when projecting all of female oppression onto a small, synthetic blue dress with admittedly lovely white gloves is also, in a twisted way, anti-feminist.

This year, my daughter has upped the ante. She wants to be a “rainbow unicorn princess.” Her old nanny, who is like a grandmother to her, is not the kind who spends two months painstakingly sewing your Halloween costumes, but one who takes any excuse she can get to order things from Amazon for you that either make noise, light up, or motor around the house with the sole purpose of breaking someone’s ankle. The rainbow unicorn princess costume, whose origins are surely unethical, is infused with LED lighting. When my daughter puts it on, she invariably invites whoever happens to be there to witness it as the gods of luminescent apparel intended, in her room with the lights turned off. When she jumps up and down and ushers me into her viewing chamber, I am still at a loss with how to respond, though I am experimenting with not disparaging her basic bitch instincts. And though I will never stop praising her intelligence or spunk or generosity, in the dark, with all $19.99 of her costume aglow, I think to myself that she is absolutely radiant. And I’m getting comfortable with the idea of telling her so.


Is 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' Too Scary For Kids Under 5?


When it comes to holiday movies (and we’re using the term “holiday” very broadly on purpose) there are few more classic than The Nightmare Before Christmas. (Is The Nightmare Before Christmas a Halloween movie or a Christmas movie? No one knows for sure...) but at what age is the classic spooky film appropriate? Is The Nightmare Before Christmas too scary for kids under 5? If you've never seen the film, it can be easy to press play, unaware of the potential fright it could cause your young child. So here’s what parents need to know.

The Nightmare Before Christmas is rated PG.

The film tells the story of the misadventures of Jack Skellington, the king of Halloween Town, who gets bored with his normal routine of scaring humans from the "real world." When Jack stumbles upon the much happier, warm-spirited Christmas Town, he schemes up a plan to kidnap Santa Claus and take the town as his own. But alas, the best laid plans of skeletons often go awry.

In typical Tim Burton fashion, there are the standard frightening looking monsters, which are usually harmless yet potentially scary images (like the child who wears a hatchet in his head like a hat). The movie’s opening number (“This Is Halloween”) gives a pretty good idea of the sort of creepy that’s in store for the rest of the movie.

Characters (painlessly) take off their own limbs and heads, and there is a villain named Oogie Boogie who could be frightening. Common Sense Media suggests the film is suitable for children aged 7 and older (parent and kid reviewers on the site unilaterally agree, which is somewhat rare on the site).

So, is The Nightmare Before Christmas dark?

Yes… and no? It’s got all the happy songs, on a bleak, goth backdrop. It’s emo Christmas at its strangest, and there are definitely some scarier elements. In a lot of the ways Wizard of Oz and Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory are scary for some kids (and some adults, that boat scene is freaky), Jack and friends will be scary as well. So if your kiddo is scared of the Wicked Witch of the West, they might be scared of this movie. (Though I’d contend the boat ride down the chocolate river in Willy Wonka is scarier than anything in Nightmare.)

We asked some IRL moms what they thought.

We spoke to some real parents to get their opinions about showing this film to younger viewers, too, and results were fairly steady across the board.

Sam, mom of three girls ranging from infant to school-aged, tells Romper, “If It weren’t for The Nightmare Before Christmas playing on a loop between October and January, I’d never get any work done. If it’s too scary for them, I expect I’d know by now. I don’t think it’s anywhere near as terrifying as The Witches, and my sister made me watch that as a toddler.”

Erin, a mom and former kindergarten teacher, tells Romper, “If your kid is easily spooked, watch it with them. If you see they aren’t taking it well, turn it off.” Like most things, it’s all about knowing your kids. Mine were both obsessed — and have been since they were toddlers — but that’s not going to be true for everyone.

Why is The Nightmare Before Christmas so good?

The movie has not only withstood the test of time (it came out almost 30 years ago), but it seems only to have increased in popularity, launching directly into the “icon” stratosphere. I think this comes down to a few things: the unique character design, the incredible score and songs by Danny Elfman, and the fact that, even now, in an age of heavily computer animated films, people have to ask “Is The Nightmare Before Christmas actually stop motion?” because the painstaking, time consuming process is so incredibly smooth and timeless.

Overall, we think this is generally a great movie for kids — anecdotally kids of all ages seem to enjoy it — but no one knows your child like you. If you're unsure of how they will react, consider watching the movie with them, paying close attention to their reactions and, if needed, pausing at scary moments to ask them to explain how the film makes them feel. Along with the other scary images and themes that circle at Halloween, the movie may or may not add to your child's fear of (or acceptance of) the scary images in the movie.


Mockingbird Respond To Parents' Reports Of Single-To-Double Stroller Breaking


Any new parent can tell you that the littlest members of our family are often the ones who require the most stuff. From cribs to carseats, diaper bags to special laundry detergent and a million little gadgets in between, there’s a lot caregivers come to rely on, and there are few items that get more use than your baby’s stroller, so it’s important to properly maintain it and be on the lookout for various recalls, replacement parts, and other issues that may affect the performance of their model. One popular stroller maker, Mockingbird, has issued a message in regard to its Single-to-Double Stroller after some parents have complained that their strollers have developed cracks in the side of the frame.

“We wanted to share that we’ve received reports of some isolated incidents from customers whose Single-to-Double Stroller developed cracks in the side of their frame during use, at times resulting in a break,” the company said in an email to customers and in a post on social media. “We’re taking this very seriously, and have been actively investigating to determine if there is a root cause and, if needed, find an appropriate solution.”

Mockingbird went on to say that they’ve notified the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) and will work with the agency to evaluate and determine next steps.

On Sept. 15, Ealeal Ginott posted about an incident that seems to correspond with the kind of isolated incidents Mockingbird is referring to. In a public Facebook post, she shared that the stroller, which she had used for just seven months, snapped in half as she and her children were crossing a street in New York City. Her infant and toddler were in their seats, and the older child fell to the asphalt face-first. “Obviously, it could’ve ended much worse,” she wrote, and it appears neither of her children sustained serious injuries. Still, the experience was scary and, as she noted, could have been serious indeed. “I recommended this stroller to so many friends, and now I just feel terrible, because who knows what might happen,” she concluded. “It was terrifying, and I certainly don’t want this to happen to anyone else.”

Ginott has been in touch with more than a dozen families who shared similar experiences with their strollers, according to reporting from Consumer Reports. The outlet also shared the story of CJ Chellin, a mom of two in Brooklyn, who has experienced breakage with three Mockinbird strollers: two were issues with the frame snapping, as others have reported, while another was an issue with the wheel. “This stroller clearly needs to be taken off the market,” Chellin told Consumer Reports. “Three times isn’t me having bad luck. Two times wasn’t me having bad luck. There’s a flaw. I want them to do the right thing and recall this.”

In their message, Mockingbird wrote, “We’re committed to keeping you updated as soon as we know more,” noting that while they believe the likelihood of experiencing this issue is “extremely rare,” they urge customers to be on the lookout for visible cracks on the sides of the stroller frame. If such damage is observed, stop using the stroller and contact the company’s customer service team at support@hellomockingbird.com for further instruction.


Friday, October 28, 2022

15 Thanksgiving Christmas Tree Ideas To Try At Home


For many of us, a Christmas tree is something that’s normally reserved for the month of December. At the earliest, we put ours up and decorate it the weekend after Thanksgiving. But a good Christmas tree, whether it’s real or fake, can be expensive, as well as time-consuming to put up and take down. Why have it out for only four or five short weeks? If you want to keep yours up longer, the Thanksgiving Christmas tree trend on social media is one you’ll want to try. It makes it acceptable to get that tree out of storage in early November, and, of course, it makes a really cute decoration.

A Thanksgiving Christmas tree is exactly what it sounds like — a Christmas tree that has been decorated for Thanksgiving. This usually means leaving off the red and green Santa ornaments and anything that looks too, well, Christmas-y. Instead, you’ll decorate the tree with Thanksgiving and autumn-themed ornaments, like fake colorful leaves, acorns, little scarecrows, maybe some turkeys, and some little mini pumpkins. It’s fun, it’s festive, and it’s a little different. And when Thanksgiving is over, all you have to do is swap out the decorations for the next holiday.

Intrigued? Here are a few Thanksgiving Christmas trees to serve as decorating inspiration, as well as some you can purchase to make your life a little easier.

Use all of the fall colors

This Thanksgiving Christmas tree is decorated with so many leaves, flowers, and pumpkins that it’s hard to even tell that it’s a Christmas tree. Using typical autumn shades, like red, orange, yellow, and gold, make these trees look like they belong outside in the beautiful foliage. With this many leaves and flowers, you don’t need much else, but a few Thanksgiving signs and ornaments are a cute touch.

Opt for leaves instead of ornaments

You can choose to eschew ornaments mostly or altogether with a tree like this one. Instead of looking for tiny pumpkins or anything like that, cover your Thanksgiving Christmas tree in leaves the color of perfect autumn foliage. Deep reds, oranges, and yellows go nicely with evergreen. Some twinkling lights underneath add just the right amount of sparkle.

Add some pumpkins

You don’t need to rely on brightly colored leaves to make your tree look ready for Thanksgiving. Pumpkins are a great addition, and for more of a fall harvest feel, pick ones that are white and yellow instead of bright orange. A variety of sizes is also fun — mini pumpkins and larger ones make a good mix. Add some autumnal flowers and ribbon for the finishing touches.

Keep it simple

This tree is proof that you don’t need a ton of different ornaments and decorations to make your tree look ready for Thanksgiving. Keep it simple with a few leaves scattered throughout and some twinkling lights — neutral color beads throughout is also a good idea. Add stacks of pumpkins (real or fake) underneath instead of the typical presents. A variety of sizes and colors looks great.

Incorporate dried corn stalks or hay

Get unique with the decorations you choose for your Thanksgiving Christmas tree. Little fall signs, pumpkins, and sunflowers are all great, but this one also uses dried corn stalks as a way to give it all the fall harvest vibes. With small white pumpkins and some leaves, this looks really great. The white lights are also a must.

Opt for muted, fall colors

Bright oranges, reds, and yellows may feel just right for all, but you don’t have to go that route if you prefer something more neutral. Muted autumn shades like browns, dark gold, and beige look so pretty, especially on a flocked tree. And instead of adding an angel at the top of the tree, add some autumnal flowers instead.

Use sunflowers

Sunflowers bloom in late summer and early autumn, so they look both appropriate and unexpectedly beautiful on a Thanksgiving Christmas tree. With some fall signs, mini pumpkins, and colorful leaves strewn throughout, this is a great fall harvest tree. Add wooden beads instead of tinsel and some Christmas lights to complete the look.

Test the waters with a mini tree

If you feel like a full-size Christmas tree is a little too much, opt for a mini one instead. This makes a cute decoration in a foyer, windowsill, or even on a kitchen counter or dining room table. Even with the flocked leaves and pinecones, this one still feels autumnal thanks to the brightly colored leaves all over it.

Celebrate Halloween at the same time

Combine two holidays in one by using both Halloween and Thanksgiving decorations. This creates the perfect fall harvest tree, and it doesn’t feel too focused on either holiday. Spooky jack-o-lanterns and cobwebs give a Halloween vibe, while “thankful” signs and and leaves represent Thanksgiving. Add some plaid throughout to really bring in the autumn vibes.

Add some decorative ribbons

Ribbons in fall colors are another great decorative option that can take the place of ornaments. Choose plaid, since that feels like such a classic autumn pattern, as well as some neutral shades. These take up a lot of space, and all you really need to add are some mini pumpkins and maybe some floral accents.

Decorate a flocked tree

Don’t be afraid to use a flocked Christmas tree as your Thanksgiving tree. The touch of snow on the branches along with the mix of colorful leaves is really unique and pretty — besides, it does snow before or around Thanksgiving in some places. With snow-dusted branches and leaves, you really don’t need much else.

Add fall signs instead of ornaments

Having trouble finding Thanksgiving or autumn ornaments? Pick up a few mini fall signs from a dollar store or craft store, and hang them throughout the tree. You don’t even need that many, especially if you choose some that are a little bit larger. Twinkling lights add some nice sparkle.

Use a scarecrow as the tree topper

Fall Artificial Tree Ornament Set
Etsy

Angels or stars are the typical Christmas tree topper, but why would you use those when decorating for Thanksgiving? Instead, use a little mini scarecrow. It’s such a cute idea that makes so much sense. Add some leaves, flowers, and plaid ribbon throughout the rest of the tree. You can purchase this Fall Artificial Tree Set from Etsy, or you can try to recreate it on your own.

Pick a Thanksgiving Christmas tree that can go outside, too

Thanksgiving Tree
Amazon

This Thanksgiving Tree from Amazon is ready to go, with leaves and branches in autumnal colors and leaves already attached. You just have to plug it in and light it up, which makes it a super easy decoration. This one is great because it can go inside or outside, making it a really cute porch decoration option.

Place a mini tree in a pot

Gerson Co. Prelit Fall Tree
QVC

For those who want a Thanksgiving Christmas tree but don’t actually want to get their Christmas tree out, this Gerson Co. Prelit Fall Tree is a great pick. It’s smaller than a full tree, and it sits in a decorative pot that would make it look great inside or outside. The leaves, fall colors, and pinecones are so pretty.

Thanksgiving Christmas trees are an unexpected way to decorate for Turkey Day. They extend the life of your Christmas tree and they make the holiday more fun when it comes to decorating. No matter which look you choose, you really can’t go wrong.


Friendsgiving Quotes For Best Meal Of The Year


For our family, Thanksgiving is our favorite holiday because we spend the week leading up to it and the day of reflecting on all we are grateful for, and how lucky we are, as well as spreading the love to those in need. The meal is the icing on the cake. But what can make Thanksgiving not so wonderful is awkward family dinners. There’s your mean uncle Bob who gets drunk, political and rude. Your cousins are still feuding from last year. Your aunt Lois always has something negative to say and she complains about the food you’ve probably been working on for over for a week. This is why we love Friendsgiving, and these Friendsgiving quotes that celebrate it.

On Friendsgiving, you get all the positive aspects of sharing a meal with people you chose to invite and get along with, and reflecting on all you’re thankful for — including each other. If you’re looking for quotes for social media photos capturing this fun event, or if you’re looking for something to write in your Friendsgiving invitation, I’ve got you covered with these Friendsgiving quotes.

Funny Friendsgiving quotes

  • “To have a few amazing friends on this side of eternity, this sometimes grotesque amusement park, is the greatest joy.” — Ann Lamott
  • “It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • “You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.” ― Laurence J. Peter
  • “There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.” — Linda Grayson

Quotes for a photo of friends around the Friendsgiving spread

  • “The turkey. The sweet potatoes. The stuffing. The pumpkin pie. Is there anything else we all can agree so vehemently about? I don’t think so.” — Nora Ephron
  • “Thanksgiving is the meal we aspire for other meals to resemble.” — Jonathan Safran Foer
  • “I can’t cook a Thanksgiving dinner. All I can make is cold cereal and maybe toast.” — A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving
  • "Food is my favorite, if I share it with you then you are damn special." — Unknown

Quotes for the Friendsgiving toast

  • “The language of friendship is not words but meanings.” — Henry David Thoreau
  • “I am happy because I’m grateful. I choose to be grateful. That gratitude allows me to be happy.” — Will Arnett
  • “Wear gratitude like a cloak, and it will feed every corner of your life.” — Rumi
  • “Be thankful for everything that happens in your life; it’s all an experience.” — Roy T. Bennett
  • “Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art…. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which gives value to survival.” ― C.S. Lewis
  • “I think if I’ve learned anything about friendship, it’s to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you. Don’t walk away, don’t be distracted, don’t be too busy or tired, don’t take them for granted. Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together. Powerful stuff.” ― Jon Katz

Sentimental Friendsgiving quotes

  • “Friends are relatives you make for yourself.” ― Eustache Deschamps
  • “There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.” — Jane Austen
  • “What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.” — Aristotle
  • “We come from homes far from perfect, so you end up almost parent and siblings to your friends—your own chosen family. There's nothing like a really loyal, dependable good friend. Nothing.”— Jennifer Aniston
  • “Friendship is born at the moment when one man says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought that no one but myself.” – C.S. Lewis
  • “For me, every hour is grace. And I feel gratitude in my heart each time I can meet someone and look at his or her smile.” — Elie Wiesel

Hopefully one of these quotes warms your heart as much as your friends do. Now set the table and gather around and tell all of your friends how much you love them and how thankful you are for their friendship.


Scorpio Babies: 8 Traits & How To Bring Out Their Best


Sometimes people make false assumptions about a sign simply because of its name. And that definitely holds true for Scorpio, the misunderstood sign of the cosmos if ever there were one. Maybe it’s because its symbol is a scorpion that people believe that this zodiac sign will be challenging, but that’s the farthest thing from the truth. As it turns out, Scorpio is a sweet, passionate sign that has big feelings, as you’ll find out from these facts about Scorpio babies and their classic personality traits.

While you might think that Scorpio (born between October 23-November 21) is a fire sign, it’s quite the opposite: Scorpio is a water sign. It’s ruled by Mars, the planet of survival, physical activity, separation and war, according to Dana DeFranco, an astrologer. “Because of this, Scorpio children have an inherent understanding that life isn’t always easy, strategy is important, and suffering is an inherent part of life,” she says. Wow. But when you look at the flip side of those traits, you’ll find that Scorpios are fearless, resourceful, and are kind of like the superheroes of the cosmos in that they fight for what’s right based on their deep understanding of the Universe.

Scorpio baby personality traits

You shouldn’t think of Scorpio baby traits as set in stone. “You know how signs have good and bad traits? Scorpio is infamously known for the bad sides,” explains Lauren O’Connell, owner and astrologer at The Modern Astrologer. “Well, if you nurture a child based on their needs (revealed by their chart), then they express the good side, ‘high vibe’ version.” These eight major traits of Scorpio babies are just guideposts, not rules. As always, your parenting and support will make all the difference. “When a Scorpio child receives what they need, they grow up to be extremely emotionally intelligent and resilient,” O’Connell says.

When to conceive to have a scorpio baby

Conception dates for a Scorpio baby are January 25-February 15. Which is why, on February 14th, some people who are hoping to have a Scorpio baby don't say "Happy Valentine's Day" they say “happy scorpio baby-making day”. To each their own.

If you’re looking for more facts about Scorpios, read on. You’ll be happily surprised to find that the Scorpion is much sweeter than you’d think.

Scorpio babies are deep thinkers

Everything about the Scorpio sun sign symbolizes depth, from their thoughts to their feelings. “They are natural researchers, detectives and are very deep,” explains O’Connell. It’s because of their innate intensity that it’s important to know how to handle them. “Scorpio children emotions intensely and are more likely than any other sign to process their emotions in private,” says DeFranco. “It is crucial for Scorpio children to be allowed to feel their emotions.” One way to achieve this is by teaching your child that all emotions are okay, so that your little Scorpion doesn’t curl up and retreat into themselves. (You can tell something is wrong when your Scorpio child doesn’t eat.) You can avoid them bottling up their emotions by leading by example and showing them how parents, too, process their emotions in appropriate ways.

Scorpio children might be distrustful of others

You might not think that kids could have problems trusting people, but this can be the case for a Scorpio baby. “Scorpio is the sign most likely to deal with trust issues,” explains DeFranco. “This means parents of Scorpio children need to learn to walk the tightrope between encouraging their child to share their feelings and respecting their child’s privacy.” To handle this, you can teach your child some self-soothing techniques to help them cope and process their emotions.

Scorpio babies love to snuggle

Sure, every kid wants to be covered in kisses, but none so much as a sweet little Scorpio baby. Since they experience emotions in such a big way, it stands to reason that they also want all that love and affection returned to them, too. “Physical affection is important for Scorpio children,” says DeFranco. “Since they are the sign most likely to experience intense emotions and the sign most likely to bottle up these emotions, physical affection is a positive way to make them feel safe and loved while respecting their right to privacy.” So whether they get a good grade in school or eat most of their veggies, slather on the sloppy kisses so your scorpion feels self-assured and loved.

Scorpio babies are very curious

Blame it on their stinger, but Scorpio likes to dig deep to find out the real meaning behind, well, everything. From conversations on the meaning of life to how birds fly, to why you made lasagna for dinner, a Scorpio child will never take anything for granted. “These investigators have an incredible ability to pierce the surface and see beyond face value,” Georgia Marcantoni, an evolutionary astrologer, tells Romper. “They love a good mystery so allow them to explore their intense curiosity of the hidden and magical.”

Scorpio babies can be intensely sweet and caring

Well, when your zodiac symbol is a scorpion, it makes sense that people might make inaccurate perceptions about you. And so it is with sweet little Scorpio babies, whose stinger isn’t as strong as some might think. “Scorpio children can seem brooding, quiet and/or pensive,” says DeFranco. “They are sweet and extremely caring by nature, and it is super important for their parents to cultivate an environment where their little Scorpions feel comfortable exposing the softer sides of their nature.” Unlike what they might have been told, Scorpio children need to know that caring is absolutely OK, and that their intense ability to care is among one of their greatest assets. “They are a ride or die sign,” O’Connell says, summing up the good and the bad of Scorpio babies. Earn their trust, and you’ve got it for life.

Scorpio is very aware of their surroundings

While all the other babies in the hospital nursery might be snoozing or screaming, it’s likely that the Scorpio baby will be wide awake, giving everything a good once-over. “Scorpio babies may have an intense stare,” Stephanie Gailing, an astrologer and author of The Astrological Self-Care Journal. “It’s like they come into life already sussing out their environment.” It’s nothing to be concerned about, but just know that your little Scorpio will always be sizing up the situation — and giving you their opinion.

Scorpio babies will test you

As part of their reputation for being difficult, Scorpios sometimes test their parents and respond to or view things in extremes. However, says O’Connell, “it mostly comes from a place of making sure you love is unconditional. That’s how a scorpio is — they are a ride or die sign.” How can you help your Scorpio child be their best self? “Help them open up, learn healthy boundaries and that vulnerability equals strength,” O’Connell advises.

Scorpio babies are old souls

Handle your sweet, old-soul Scorpio baby with care, though, and that investment will pay off tenfold. “Engage with them and be as honest as you are comfortable with,” O’Connell advises. “Be a part of their discovery process. They can be afraid of the boogyman or monsters under the bed. They may even creep you out with some of the intuitive or odd things they can say — they’re old souls. They can be sensitive and very attached to people and things. It’s important to not punish them without taking the time to explain why they're being punished. Take a moment to remind them you love them and you will be there still even when you are mad.” Bottom line, showering them with obvious, unconditional love is the way to go. And that’s true for just about any child, not just Scorpio babies.

With their inner strength, passion, and desire to dig deep into the meaning of life, it’s hard not to fall in love with the sweet little Scorpio. They’re truly the meaning of not judging a book by its (astrological) cover — or stinger.

Sources interviewed:

Lauren O’Connell, owner and astrologer at The Modern Astrologer

Georgia Marcantoni, an evolutionary astrologer

Dana DeFranco, an astrologer

Stephanie Gailing, an astrologer and author of The Astrological Self-Care Journal.


Tom Brady’s Kids: The NFL Quarterback Is A Proud Dad Of Three


Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen are really having a year. The couple started out strong, with the NFL quarterback deciding to retire from playing football and his wife and family openly supporting his decision. Then, 40 days later he changed his mind and went back to playing for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. A decision his wife did not publicly support. As tensions appear to escalate between the couple, what will happen with Bündchen and Brady’s children?

Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen have filed for divorce.

Page Six reported that the Victoria’s Secret model had hired a divorce lawyer in early October. A source close to the couple told the publication that Bündchen had moved out of the family home as both she and Brady have hired divorce lawyers in the wake of a fight, allegedly over Brady’s decision to continue playing football. “I never actually thought this argument would be the end of them, but it looks like it is,” the source told Page Six. “I don’t think there will be any coming back now. They both have lawyers and are looking at what a split will entail, who gets what and what the finances will be.”

Now things have been made official. Multiple news outlets reported on Oct. 28 that Brady and Bündchen are filing for divorce. “The settlement is all worked out,” a source close to the couple told People. “They've been working on the terms this whole time.”

Gisele released a statement confirming their divorce.

Bündchen shared a statement on Instagram confirming that the couple have “amicably finalized” their divorce. “My priority has always been and will continue to be our children whom I love with all my heart," she wrote on Friday. “We will continue co-parenting to give them the love, care and attention they greatly deserve. The decision to end a marriage is never easy but we have grown apart and while it is, of course, difficult to go through something like this, I feel blessed for the time we had together and only wish the best for Tom always.”

Now that the couple have indeed decided to file for divorce, a source told People that they have agreed to share joint custody of their children.

Here’s a look at what Brady and Bündchen have shared about their kids over the years.

His son Jack Moynahan was born in 2006.

Brady welcomed his oldest son, John “Jack” Edward Thomas Moynahan, with ex-girlfriend Bridget Moynahan after the couple broke up in 2006. The former New England Patriots player was dating Bündchen at the time, and while it was initially a struggle, all of the parents involved made the situation work for them.

“I'm so grateful for [Bridget],” Bündchen told People about their family’s co-parenting situation in 2019. “I know this was hard, but I couldn't imagine my life without [Jack]. I call him my bonus child.”

Jack plays football like his dad.

Brady’s oldest son plays football, just like his dad. And watching his son play is one of the “great highlights of my life,” he explained on a recent podcast episode of Let’s Go with Tom Brady, Larry Fitzgerald, and Jim Gray. “Getting out there and watching him play has been so much fun for me,” he said in the episode. “And I don't give a s— how well he does. I just love watching him and seeing him enjoy it with his friends. And, you know, the camaraderie at a young age.”

Benjamin Rein was born at home in 2009.

After Bündchen and Brady married in February 2009, they welcomed their first child together, son Benjamin Rein, in December of that year. Bündchen delivered Benjamin at home with Brady at her side, and it was something Brady was not on board with at first. “It was a home birth and it was funny because he didn't want me to have a home birth,” Bündchen explained in the ESPN+ series Man In The Arena: Tom Brady. “He was like, 'Absolutely not,' and I was like, 'Excuse me, you don't get to choose that, it's my body.’” He eventually came around. “Me being there with G at his birth in our home, it lives in my mind,” Brady explained in the video. “I think we brought this boy into the world in the most precious way.”

Benjamin loves to joke around.

While Jack might want to play football, 12-year-old Benjamin was not interested. And again, it was a difference that Brady had to get used to with a little help from his wife. “I was like, 'C'mon, let's do this.' And he was like, 'Nope.' And I was like, 'What? No, do this!' " he told Men's Health. “And Gisele kept saying to me, 'Would you effing understand that your son is different?' It was hard for me. I was like, 'What do you mean? He's a boy; he should do all these things that I do.’”

Father and son found a different common interest. “The reality is that Benny just likes different things. And it's great because now I just have to go do what he wants to do. When we do that, we have the best time. He's like, 'OMG, Dad, you're so funny.' He loves joking, and I joke back,” he told Men’s Health.

Vivian Lake joined the family in 2012.

The couple welcomed their daughter Vivian Lake together in 2012, and the proud dad told ESPN at the time that the addition of a girl in the house felt right for their family. “I grew up in a house with three sisters. I think it's great for my boys to have a girl in the house, just to understand at least a little bit about what makes a woman tick — not that I can certainly figure that out, because I can't. She's a beautiful little girl.”

Brady says he’s a “softie” around Vivian.

The dad of three has a real soft heart when it comes to his daughter, apparently. “That little girl owns my day — owns my life,” he told Entertainment Tonight in 2016. “[I] cannot say no to anything. Whatever she tells her dad to do, that's what I do. That's just the way it goes.”

As his children grow, here’s hoping the proud dad is able to keep that close connection with them.


Thursday, October 27, 2022

How Long After Giving Birth Can You Have Sex? A Doctor Weighs In


Pregnancy and delivery bring so many changes to your body. There’s a laundry list of things you can’t eat or do – besides getting to meet their baby, there are many reasons pregnant people are ready to be done with pregnancy. Then there’s sex — you’ll likely wonder how long after you birth you can have sex, how it might feel, and more.

For some moms, pregnancy is a time of increased sex drive, but others experience low libido. Whatever your pregnancy sexual experience, it’s normal to be curious about what sex after childbirth will look like. There are physical questions like how soon after pregnancy you’re safely able to have sex, if some bleeding is normal, or if sex will fill different after all the changes your body has been through. There are also emotional considerations. Are you ready for sex after pregnancy? When can you have sex after childbirth? Is the answer different if you had a vaginal birth versus a C-section? What if you’re too exhausted from mothering? How do you explain to your partner your new feelings about sex?

These are all common questions people ask about postpartum sex. Most people have heard or been told to wait until six weeks postpartum to have sex, and while that is the general benchmark, it turns out the answer is a bit more nuanced than that simple timeline suggests, from a medical standpoint.

When can you have sex after a vaginal birth?

There’s actually no “official” six-week waiting requirement, says Dr. Laura Purdy, a family medicine physician. It’s just the time frame when most people are physically recovered enough and a really great guideline, but there’s nothing magical about that six-week mark. All bodies heal differently. ”Your doctor may recommend waiting to have sex until four to six weeks after delivery, regardless of the delivery method. Mothers who have had vaginal tears as a result of vaginal delivery often need to wait longer to ensure it has healed before having sex again.” A conversation with your doctor as well as an honest look at how your body actually feels will help you decide.

When can you have sex after a C-section?

For those who have had a C-section, Dr. Purdy she says a healthy and healing incision is the key to the sexy green light. “Most people can begin having sex after their six-week check-up post-delivery, to ensure the surgical incisions to the abdomen heal correctly.” If your incision is irritated, red, or oozing, please make an appointment with your doctor and wait on sex.

Why does sex after birth hurt?

Aside from the major trauma your body has been through during delivery, Dr. Purdy says there a few reasons sex can hurt after birth. “Low levels of estrogen are normal for around two months post-delivery, which can cause vaginal dryness and lead to discomfort.” A good quality lube will help — make sure to choose one that is free of fragrance and harsh ingredients. The consistent pressure pregnant people experience on their muscles before delivery also affects how sex can feel. Vaginal muscles were stretched or possibly even torn during delivery, too. This can make sex painful for a period of time.

How soon after birth can you get pregnant?

Everyone has heard about “Irish twins,” or siblings born within a year of each other. While not extremely common, this can happen — and it can be really hard on your body. “Regardless of the delivery method, a mother’s body is capable of getting pregnant in as little as three weeks after giving birth. It’s possible to ovulate before having your first postpartum period, and it’s possible to conceive as soon as you ovulate,” says Dr. Purdy. She urges mothers to use alternatives to intercourse before the one-month postpartum mark to prevent pregnancy, given the health risks of back-to-back pregnancies. “The mother’s body might not have fully healed, and there is a change in hormones and nutrients during the first postpartum year.” While kids close in age can be awesome, it’s best for your body to have a healthy gap.

Is bleeding normal?

It can be scary to see blood during or after sex if you’ve just given birth. It can be normal or even expected, says Dr. Purdy, but it’s an important symptom to monitor closely. Episiotomy stitches typically begin to dissolve in two weeks and are fully healed by one month. Irritating these stitches too soon can cause bleeding, so check in with your doctor for clearance from stitches. Dryness, as mentioned above, can also cause bleeding from friction. The muscle contraction that accompanies an orgasm can also cause some slight bleeding after birth. If you’re filling a tampon or pad within two hours, please seek medical attention immediately.

You should stop having sex if…

If something doesn’t feel right, trust your gut. If there’s too much bleeding (see above), too much pain, or if you aren’t into it, it’s time to stop. There might not be a concrete medical or physical reason why it’s too soon, but it could be that you are not mentally ready to resume having intercourse. Start slow and listen to your mind and body.

What if you don’t feel ready?

You’ve been given the all-clear, but the thought of sex just doesn’t feel right. That’s more common than you might think, says Dr. Jenn Mann, a relationship and sex therapist who focuses on the emotional aspects of sex. There’s a huge emotional component to postpartum sex. For many moms, their body might be ready for sex but their minds are not. Being emotionally ready is just as important, she says. “Many women feel like their body has been use as a vessel for their child- carrying them, feeding them, etc. and that can make it difficult to feel like giving or even receiving in sexual ways.”

In addition to these feelings, many women struggle with body image or feeling sexy after giving birth. “The dramatic change in a woman’s body hormones can make her body feel unfamiliar to her and trigger self criticism.” Plus, many new moms are just exhausted. Open communication with your partner is key during this phase. Your partner may have heard “six weeks” as a very simple time frame without realizing how complicated things feel for you. “It is crucial to make sure that your partner knows that this is not about them, their attractiveness or your love for them,” says Mann. “It is best to communicate what it is that is holding you back from feeling ready, owning your own stuff. I also recommend using the sandwich technique. Start with the positive and end with the positive. This can make the information more well received.”

Experts:

Dr. Laura Purdy, M.D., family medicine physician and Chief Medical Advisor at Wisp

Dr, Jenn Mann, relationship and sex psychotherapist


I Used Alcohol To Cope With Parenting & Quitting Was Like Grieving


The witching hour is a popular parenting phrase. It usually references when your kids are just absolutely done for the day, but for me, that magic hour of 5 p.m. was my own witching hour. It was when I was officially done and I could drink wine — my “mom juice” — to help me deal with being the parent of an extroverted spirited toddler. I’d be at the zoo with my son and he'd be having some sort of meltdown, and I’d look at my watch and think, I can get through this. In an hour, I’ll be drinking wine. I’ll be numb. I won’t have to think about how I’m a shitty mom and I’m doing a terrible job of raising my son. I won’t care. I’ll be oblivious. I’ll give myself a break.

But after my son would go to bed, I’d drink more than just that one glass meant to be a “break.” I was up to about two bottles of wine a night — my tolerance was so high I was no longer feeling the buzz, and I kept drinking more to satisfy that tipsy fuzzy feeling I was craving. I used alcohol to cope and numb the nagging feeling that I wasn’t good enough. I was a bad mom, there was something wrong with my kid, and I shouldn't have tried so hard and for so long to be a parent because it was all just terrible.

I know I’m not alone. A lot of moms I know and don’t know use alcohol to cope thanks to “mommy wine culture” invading our scrolling — in both pretty, stemless wine glasses with “Mommy’s Juice” written on them and cardboard boxes of hard seltzers — through memes, Instagram posts, and Facebook ads. Women, in general, are drinking more than they have in the past, according to studies, but let’s face it: the last two years have been full of jokes about moms needing Instacart to deliver wine during the height of the pandemic quarantine, moms needing to get drunk to deal with digital learning, and moms needing alcohol as a security crutch when life got “back to normal” with play dates and social functions. It’s no wonder so many moms look forward to that 5:00 drink and beyond, and I was right alongside them.

I spent the majority of our vacation — the one I had been so excited for, the one I got to spend totally focused on having fun with my kid — in a haze.

But on September 13, 2021, I decided to take my life back.

It was the last night of our yearly beach trip to Jekyll Island. I had been extremely emotional and crying a lot, and I thought it was because I was really depressed that our vacation I had been looking forward to all year was coming to an end. But, truly, I think it was because I spent the majority of our vacation — the one I had been so excited for, the one I got to spend totally focused on having fun with my kid — in a haze. I was ashamed at how many bottles of wine I had calculated that I “needed” on our week-long vacation when we were shopping for our trip. (I tried to hide it from my husband.) And I was crying because I knew, deep down, that my drinking was not OK. That it wasn’t helping me be a better mom, it wasn’t helping me have a better time, it wasn’t helping me be happier.

At midnight, I walked into the kitchen of the beach house we were renting, stared at a massive sea shell, and poured what was left of my huge glass of red wine down the sink. I told my husband that this was it. I’m sure he didn’t believe me. I had said this a thousand times before. But this was different. I was tired of not feeling my best in general, but especially around my son. I felt like I couldn’t function without it. Or at the very least, wine was my “reward” for parenting and gave me “something to look forward to.”

It was different. But I was absolutely terrified.

As I watched the palm trees slowly disappear and be replaced with strip malls, I listened to a “quit lit” audiobook and realized I was absolutely addicted to alcohol. I needed to fix it — for my husband, my son, my friends, my family, and most importantly, myself — and this was going to be the end this time.

When we arrived home from the trip, as soon as we opened the door, everything was in shambles. Our dogs were fighting and running around in excitement, my 3-year-old started chasing them and trying to hug them, everyone was knocking things to the ground, my kid was screaming because a dog stepped on him and we were yelling at him to leave the dogs alone so he wouldn’t accidentally get bit and of course he didn’t listen, and I just remember thinking, “How the f*ck am I going to deal with life without drinking?” And I cried and cried and cried.

Up until this point, I had only successfully abstained from alcohol during my pregnancy. I kept the sobriety going for a little while postpartum. It wasn’t until I was absolutely stressed out about my son not latching to breastfeed, the fact that he never ever slept, and that I was anxious, tired, exhausted and scared every day that I was screwing up this tiny human I loved to death, that I took that first sip of wine again to “relax.”

I was constantly trading one bad day for two.

I gave in, and I wish I hasn’t.

Because drinking doesn’t fix anything. I was constantly trading one bad day for two. If you drink when you’re having a bad day, you’ll have a bad day the next day, too, from a hangover and not being 100%. I did this all week every week. I tried to cut back to only drinking on the weekends, but that only worked for a few weeks until I’d fall off the wagon, convincing myself, I deserve this. I need to drink to have fun and relax.

After that last night on vacation, I realized that even when I wasn’t drinking, I was hungover and in active withdrawal until the next fix of alcohol, unconsciously waiting for the next time I could drink. That first couple of weeks after quitting, the physical and mental withdrawal felt like the worst PMS I had ever experienced. I felt despair, I had suicidal ideation, I went through denial. I had headaches and body aches. My body physically craved the poison — it was mind blowing. And when I’d tell myself I wasn’t going to have it that night, or ever again, I’d cry like I’d lost my best friend. It was absolutely a grieving process.

The confidence I gained from my sobriety is palpable and it shines through in everything I do — including parenting.

Drinking (especially to the point of being drunk) isn’t a good coping mechanism, it’s not a good way to experience life, but I was using alcohol to numb and block all the bad and uncomfortable experiences life threw my way instead of actually living and experiencing — and learning. Humans expect to not feel or experience pain or ever be uncomfortable, but that’s just life. Now when my son has a meltdown like at the zoo, I try to breathe my way through it and guide my son to navigate his own big feelings. It’s still incredibly hard to be a parent, even on my best days, but now I focus on ways to get through it with my son and be present instead of looking forward to erasing everything away by getting drunk. I try to get on my son’s level and talk him through a situation, help him breathe, and tell me in words why he’s upset instead of immediately being frustrated and embarrassed at his outbursts and feeling people staring at us.

Because another thing getting sober has taught me? To not care what other people think. The confidence I gained from my sobriety is palpable and it shines through in everything I do — including parenting. And now instead of looking forward to drinking alcohol at the end of the day, I get my high knowing I did my best that I could with my son and I am teaching him how to really feel his emotions, to feel safe in those emotions, and to not feel like he needs to numb them like I did. And I enjoy doing family activities that no longer include sneaking alcohol in a tumbler on the weekends.

Being sober has made me a better mother. I no longer have headaches or struggle to get out of bed from being hungover and feeling depressed. I get up and make breakfast and play with my son. We build forts before school, play board games, and have so many Monster Jam monster truck races that we should have our own YouTube channel.

I am so much more active with my son than I ever dreamed now that I’m sober. I can keep up with him. I remember and soak up every single moment I have with him because I’m alert, aware, clear. I am here. I am myself at my best, 100%. And those days that I’m not at my 100%? That’s OK. It’s still better than hungover me or drunk me. I’ll never be who I was before I got sober. But that’s a good thing. Because my son deserves this version of me.

I deserve this version of me.


Rihanna Announces New Music, Her First Song Since Becoming A Mom


For the first time in six years, the world is about to be blessed with a new song by Rihanna as a solo artist. Perhaps even more significantly, this will also be her first song to be released since becoming a mom. Indeed, it should be interesting to hear how that massive life shift has affected her music.

Rihanna hit the red carpet in Los Angeles on Wednesday night alongside her partner A$AP Rocky for the premiere of Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, the sequel to the Marvel hit Black Panther. This was the first time Rihanna has been out on the red carpet since the arrival of her baby boy in May, and she was there for a good reason. To support the movie, of course, but also to represent the song she co-wrote for the film. A song that drops on Oct. 28 called “Lift Me Up.” Yes, mark your calendars.

The singer wrote “Lift Me Up” with Tems, producer Ludwig Göransson, and Black Panther director Ryan Coogler for Chadwick Boseman, the star of Black Panther who died in October 2020 after a battle with colon cancer.

Rihanna shared a teaser trailer of the song on her Instagram page on Thursday, offering her followers a little hint of what they can expect to be listening to for the foreseeable future. Because you know people are going to be listening and dissecting this song for days. Perhaps to hear any possible connections that the new mom might make to her life with her baby boy.

Since becoming a mom, Rihanna has been staying firmly out of the public eye as much as possible. Presumably adjusting to the monumental shift she has gone through in recent months. Certainly her friend Lizzo admitted to Andy Cohen that their texting has gotten considerably less sexy since Rihanna became a mom, which sounds accurate for those early days of motherhood.

It will be interesting to hear if this new dynamic will be at play in her first new song since ANTI came out in 2016. As the song is intended to be a tribute to Boseman, “Lift Me Up” might stay firmly grounded in honoring the late actor and his legacy, particularly as it pertained to the Black Panther franchise.

Regardless, we are all ready to hear Rihanna’s first solo release in six years. It’s a big time for her. And now it’s a big time for her fans.


Tom Hiddleston & Zawe Ashton Welcomed Their First Child Together


Tom Hiddleston and Zawe Ashton are officially first-time parents! The engaged couple have reportedly welcomed their first baby together recently, and as ever with the incredibly private couple, they’re not giving any details.

A source close to the couple told Us Weekly that the Midnight In Paris star and Ashton are new parents. “Tom and Zawe are loving being new parents and are filled with joy,” a source told the magazine. “They have been having the struggles of new parents and aren’t sleeping much but are thrilled.”

Neither Hiddleston nor Ashton have shared any information about their new roles as parents, which is par for the course considering they never officially announced Ashton’s pregnancy either. The actress simply premiered her growing baby bump at the New York premiere of her movie Mr. Malcolm’s List at the end of June and let that bump speak for itself.

No further details about the baby’s birth date or name were shared by the source. And certainly not by the couple as is their habit. To be fair, if they weren’t interested in sharing details of their pregnancy they would be even less likely to share tidbits about their baby now that they are sleep-deprived parents.

The two British ex-pats were first linked back in 2019 when they starred together in the Broadway play Betrayal, and apparently bonded over their shared experiences at the time. “Being Brits abroad, they would hang out frequently. Zawe and Tom showed great affection for each other, and you could also see that coming off slightly in their onstage performance,” a source told People at the time. Later that year Hiddleston confirmed their engagement by telling the Los Angeles Times in an interview, “I’m very happy.” For her part, Ashton confirmed their engagement by wearing her engagement ring in public. And that was that.

Now that they’re getting accustomed to their new roles as Mom and Dad (or Mum and Dad as the case may be for the two Brits), we can only hope that life gets even happier for Hiddleston and Ashton.

Not that they’ll tell fans or anything. But we wish them well regardless.