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Carmen and her husband, Brendan, parents to two elementary-aged children, both work from home — she as an artist and he as a software developer — and meet at noon, in person, every Monday. Yes, there is an agenda: They open their time with Appreciations (“Thanks for doing bedtime so I could go out last night”), Celebrations (“The kids seem to be slightly less cranky in the mornings!”), and Feedback (“I would love it if you’d remember not to soap the cast iron skillet”), and then get down to business.
Priti, 46, says that she and her husband communicate about all home logistics through the project-management tool Trello. Stevie, 37, and her husband, Shawn, use Discord to talk about anything family-related: They have a channel for chores, grocery lists, each child’s medical info, date-night ideas, and even family values (also an intriguing one named #rats). Nedra uses OurFamilyWizard for messaging, shared expenses, updates, and tracking custodial days across two households, while other co-parents told me they are helped by Maia, Splitwise, and Skylight.
I was not asking as a disinterested party. You see, last year my marriage turned 10, and with it came a renewal of vows, just not the love-and-protect kind. These new promises, instead, were primarily focused on logistics. We hired a financial planner, for one. We signed up for a wash-and-fold laundry service. And we committed, after years of some combination of neglect and resistance, to better manage our family. Even though that phrase gives me visions of PowerPoint presentations and leaves me feeling simultaneously repulsed and inadequate, I had to admit the project of our family was in need of some regular power lunches. The alternative, we’d come to realize, was letting the mundane details of raising two children, balancing four schedules, even for a family that was committed to being under-involved, leak into the fun parts of our life.
“I think we tell ourselves that if we just had the right systems, this stuff would be easy. But really, we just need to do less.”
In pursuit of protecting the fun, I asked dozens of parents about their family-business strategies. They told me about Hearth and Skylight for in-home virtual assistance, Paprika and Plan to Eat for meal planning, and Cozi, Tick Tick, and Anylist for making lists. Rebecca, a mother of three kids ages 5 to 11, told me, “We put everything into a Google Calendar. The rule is that if it’s not in the calendar, it doesn’t actually exist.” To get events on the calendar in the first place, several told me that they created a family email address that they use for all family business — from party invites to camp sign-ups to pediatrician appointments. That way no realm is the sole responsibility of one parent.
Erin, a mother of four, just set up her Hearth (billed as the “operating system for the modern family”) and showed it to me over FaceTime. The Hearth, for the uninitiated, is a sleek, large, screen you mount on your wall. (You can choose from three colors that give it the appearance of a jumbo picture frame.) Various Google Calendars are synced to it, and each family member can see their own calendar as well as to do lists and routines. You can also take a picture or screenshot of an invitation, and it will add the information to the calendar. So far, Erin finds that her kids love checking off their tasks and getting little celebrations for sustaining “streaks” for completing routines on a daily basis. It’s not perfect, but she likened it to her use of the Peloton: “If I invest money in something pretty, I’m gonna f*cking use it.”
He schedules a Zoom with me on my Calendly like we are co-workers (aren’t we?).
Inspired, my husband and I opened up our neglected Google Keep, where we found packing lists for vacations we’d taken in 2022. I side-eyed the Fair Play card-deck I’d once brought out with gusto, which promised to “gameify” the process of divvying up household responsibilities, but which had made us so overwhelmed we’d put it away just as quickly. Like the problems we were trying to solve, the solutions felt hard. And I still had some nagging doubts. Was getting better at “managing the family” like a corporation a way to solve for the perils of modern parenting or a way to enable them? As a friend of mine put it, “I think we tell ourselves that if we just had the right systems, this stuff would be easy. But really, we just need to do less.”
Carmen, who has the standing Monday meeting, hasn’t done “the cards” either. But, she told me, “If I get frustrated with something, instead of getting snappy, I just go, ‘I’ll just bring that up on Monday.’” I had to admit that the way Carmen’s weekly meetings improved her life, and her marriage, was deeply attractive. I realized that this was my great fantasy of what structured family management would do for me: relieve me of the many daily micro-aggressions that come with strategizing on the go. What is more joy-killing than your partner announcing a work trip in the middle of taco night, or asking you if you’ve signed up for karate camp (you have not) before you’ve even had your morning coffee?
And with that, my husband and I recommitted to the family business meeting, which we set sporadically, as needs must. He schedules a Zoom with me on my Calendly like we are co-workers (aren’t we?). We sit on our blue velvet couch in the living room, surrounded by the detritus of two children who produce a flabbergasting amount of art, trying to care enough about our tasks to not let them take over the rest of our precious hours together. We finally sent in last year’s taxes (several months late). We have not returned to the cards, I don’t think we really need them anymore. Avoiding all of this had felt like prioritizing connection, but it was really just getting in the way of it. After our last meeting, my husband joked, “That was sexy!” I walked away smiling ’cause I think he was right.
Sarah Wheeler is a writer and educational psychologist whose work has been published in Romper, The Cut, The New York Times, The San Francisco Chronicle, HuffPost, Deadspin, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, and more. Sarah writes about parenting, motherhood, ADHD, disability and neurodiversity, basketball, and many other things. Her newsletter, Momspreading, is a Substack Bestseller.
I turn away from my husband and his snoring, using my back to try to block out the light from my phone. It is my favorite time of day: 10 p.m., in bed, secretly scrolling my favorite app, NYTimes Recipes. Looking at all the beautiful pictures I feel myself getting excited, hopeful even. I click on family-friendly dinners, and my heart drops instantly: It reads like a list of rejection letters. Fajitas. Chili. Tortellini soup. Lasagna. I swipe, faster and faster, rejecting things left and right (though I still think of left swipe as rejection), and I am reminded of the years I spent swiping on other apps, picky in a different way. Back then, I rejected men for being too square, too edgy, too comfortable with typos. Now I swipe and make the rejections on my children’s behalf: This recipe looks too spicy. Too cheesy. Too saucy. Too meat-y, too bean-y.
It took me years to admit my family, happy in almost every way, would completely implode if asked to live on what the Internet tells me are “Family-Friendly Dinners.” I read other families’ meal plans like other moms read romance novels, fascinated but incredulous, sure no one is being whisked off to Paris or that people’s kids are eating fish tacos in real life.
It wasn’t always this way. For years I persisted, an acolyte in Ellyn Satter’s church of feeding, sure that if I just put certain foods (namely, healthy home-cooked ones) on the table 10, 20, 50, 5,000 times, my kids would eventually be called “good eaters,” Internet code for adventurous, polite, nonpicky dinner companions, basically little 45-year-olds in children’s bodies. But after years of this, years of heroic dinnertime effort met with routine, resounding rejection, it finally happened. I broke.
The scene that played out in our dining room last fall was a familiar one to anyone with kids. I had spent Sunday meal planning the week’s meals, my cookbooks around me on the living room floor, avoiding the allergens (avocado, tomatoes, peppers) and preferences (no broccoli, fish, “saucy” food, spice) of my family members. I’d found some that threaded the very fine needle of food preferences and time allowances I’d have to cook during the week. I grocery shopped, labeled what food should not be eaten before it was made for dinner (“DO NOT TOUCH!” the egg carton said, as they were destined for pad Thai), and got to cooking.
And so, on that night last September, I cooked. Chicken shawarma — a recipe that promised, literally, to “change my life.” I grilled, roasted, and diced. I minced the dill, considered whether to peel the cucumber. (I split the difference, peeling it in strips.) I set the table, our cloth napkins over our placemats, the food all on the table to serve family style (Ellyn Satter insists!!!), and my family sat down. And of course, nobody ate. My husband muscled out a “Thanks for dinner” as my son slid down in his chair, horrified at the very sight of cooked vegetables. My daughter declared she didn’t eat meat. (She does.)
This doesn’t mean I don’t cook ever; I just no longer cook for my family. I save my cooking for other adults.
I did not flip the kitchen table, but only because our dog, Larry, would have immediately made off with the chicken bones, but I did suddenly understand Teresa Giudice in a way I never had before. What was I doing with my one wild and precious life? I loved cooking because it brought people together. And yet my cooking for my family was doing anything but that. We were miserable.
So, I decided I was done. I would no longer cook for my family.
Over the next few days, I came up with my new rule: I would prepare food for my family, but I would not cook. The fine details are such: There are no recipes allowed, whether from a cookbook or online (Bye, NYTimes Recipes! See ya, Smitten Kitchen!!) and food should be prepared in 30 minutes or less. Practically, it means a lot of quesadillas, frozen food (Trader Joe’s frozen aisle is our meal plan for weeks) and pizza. We eat the most basic of tacos (ground turkey, spice packet, pre-shredded cheese). Baked potatoes and bagged salads are go-tos. There are lots of repeat meals.
This doesn’t mean I don’t cook ever; I just no longer cook for my family. I save my cooking for other adults. In fact, the space this no-cooking thing opened up for me inspired me to institute something we call Sunday suppers: a regular time to cook for friends we invite over. At which, of course, my kids eat food that they would normally reject — maybe it’s because they’re surrounded by friends’ children who compliment my pulled pork?
But beyond that, our dinners have now become pleasant. No tables are flipped; no tears are shed onto the scrambled eggs and pancakes we are eating. (Breakfast for dinner is about as fancy as we get now.) My son makes jokes as my daughter tells us the “cuckoo banana pants” thing that happened at school each day. To be clear, we aren’t all eating the same thing. My husband often works late, and I batch cook a big soup or salad for me or us to eat all week alongside the kids. The mealtimes I dreamed of are happening, just over different kinds of food than the fantasy includes.
While here in Seattle anyone filling their grocery cart with frozen food gets a side eye (not only do I not regularly buy organic, I also don’t even garden), I am aware that part of my ability to throw in the towel and say “NO MORE COOKING!” without getting thrown to the Michael Pollan-sponsored wolves is because my kids are white, average weight, healthy, and upper middle class. If any one of those factors was different, the judgment would come quickly. (It might still come, to which I say, “Bring it on. I’ll be over here snacking on my Pizza Rolls.”)
I now know that there are 1,000 ways to be a good mother, where I used to believe “You must do 1,000 things to be a good mother.”
But also, as I’ve stopped cooking for my family, I’ve realized it’s shifted more than how I feel about dinner. It’s true that my children will not remember my cooking. They will not get framed artwork with beloved recipes of mine or have a special dish that they request I make when their children are born or when they are sick. They will, almost surely, look back and wonder why I wasn’t as fastidious about organic food as their friends’ parents. They will likely think I was behind the ball on GMOs, CSAs, and microplastics. If, or when, they get ill, I may wonder if it is my fault.
But not cooking has opened us space for me to be good at parts of mothering I really do like: having neighborhood kids over most afternoons. Snuggleread (a daily practice where me and my kids… lie down and read — highly recommend). Volunteering at their school. I feel like I’ve discovered a crucial, life-changing flaw in my thinking: I now know that there are a thousand ways to be a good mother, where I used to believe “You must do 1,000 things to be a good mother.” In rejecting dinner, I’m rejecting this premise.
Instead, I have found lowering the bar brings me into the relationship I actually want with my kids. Whether it’s giving up on folding laundry, or leaving the dishes to take a bath, when I become human rather than just a mother is when I have a relationship with my family that I like, and one where dinner is enjoyable for all of us.
As I get more confident in my choice, I look at people’s meal plans less. I close the cooking app and open my Kindle instead. I find I’m embracing what life looks like right now (frozen chicken patties) and finding the fantasy of a happy family is closer than I realized, even if it doesn’t include chicken shawarma.
It’s been more than 17 months since Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively welcomed their fourth child. And only now, at the premiere of Deadpool & Wolverine, Reynolds’ latest film, have we learned the baby’s name.
This is kind of just how the couple does things when it comes to family news and the media. Take, for instance, the public “rollout” of their youngest child. The couple didn’t really announce that they were expecting a fourth baby. As with their older children — James, 9; Inez, 7; and Betty, 4 — Lively just sort of rolled up to an event visibly pregnant. When it came to announcing the birth of their latest little one, they followed a similar tactic: there was no announcement, but Lively was visibly not pregnant in an Instagram post. (Brilliantly, the pair posted it on Super Bowl Sunday, ensuring they would not be the next day’s main headline.)
The pair have always valued their privacy, speaking out against the paparazzi on more than one occasion for taking and distributing pictures of their children and for camping out in front of their house in the hopes of catching a glimpse of Lively’s baby bump.
The latter prompted Lively to post pictures on Instagram with the caption “Here are photos of me pregnant in real life so the 11 guys waiting outside my home for a 🦄 sighting will leave me alone. You freak me and my kids out. Thanks to everyone else for all the love and respect and for continuing to unfollow accounts and publications who share photos of children. You have all the power against them. And thank you to the media who have a ‘No Kids Policy’. You all make all the difference.” So it’s probably not a surprise that they took about a year and a half to disclose their newest edition’s name, but apparently last night felt right.
Addressing the crowd at the New York premiere of Deadpool & Wolverine, Reynolds thanked Lively before going on to thank their children... by name!
“I want to thank my kids, James, Inez, Betty, Olin, who are here,” he said. “I hope that, if I’m lucky, this moment will be the most traumatic thing — that is, the contents of this movie — that happens in your wondrous life.”
Olin! The baby’s name is Olin!
As a first name, Olin comes from Old Norse and means “to inherit” or “ancestor’s heir” according to The Bump. According to data from the Social Security Administration, Olin can be considered an “old fashioned” name; while never popular, it was more commonly used in the late 1800s and early 1900s. It has not ranked among the Top 1,000 baby names in the country since 1964. According to Ancestry.com, Olin is also a Jewish-Ukranian last name that means “stag.”
While Olin is traditionally a male first name, so is James, the couple’s eldest daughter. So there’s no clear answer as to whether Little Olin is a boy or a girl. But either way, it’s a great pick!
He was one of those men who wore shorts with knee socks and a whistle around his neck, even when he wasn’t teaching phys ed. I think it sort of turned into a necklace for him. He often had marker smudges on the backs of his hands, and more than once I detected glitter glue in his mustache. His desk was cluttered with cartoon character mugs and pictures from students and fun pens, plus guitar picks for the guitar that hung on his wall. I had a crush on him, all of us parents did, but not in the romantic way where we wanted to smooch him.
More in the way that we were so grateful he was there. Being an example of a silly, vulnerable, smart, thoughtful man for our kids. Maybe especially for families like mine, who didn’t see men like him in our homes.
This was something that worried me when I left my husband. I don’t know if it’s sexist or old-fashioned or wrong-footed, but I worried that my boys would never have a good example of a man to follow in their lives. My husband was not a good example, I’m sorry to say. He was so worried always about not “letting them get away with anything” — worried that these little toddlers, these fledgling humans who needed us so much, might somehow pull a fast one on him and make him give them more than he thought they deserved.
I worried that they would look at him and take on this example of what it was to be a man, to think they had to be hard and wary and fearful of being seen as vulnerable, and so I left. For this reason and about 17,000 other ones. I knew that our leaving might mean that we would never find a better role model for manhood or maleness or whatever they might call it. But I also knew I didn’t want them to think they had to whittle their souls down until they were left hard as pennies.
Then they started at their new little school. And here is where we found our home in so many ways but especially this way; we found beautiful role models for the men they were allowed to become.
The first of their teachers, he of the whistle and shorts and glitter-filled mustache, taught all four of my sons over the years. Sometimes as their PE teacher and a few times as their homeroom teacher, all around that all-important 9- and 10-year-old mark. My oldest son in particular was at a crossroads that year. Smart but maybe a bit belligerent. Sweet but worried, and always worried someone might notice. It was the year after we left and he was flailing. Until he met his teacher.
I remember the guilt I carried for not being able to show them how to be men. For not inviting any sort of positive male presence into our lives. I remember the relief in all of us when they met their teachers.
This teacher was just himself, always. Excited about silly things. Singing loud and off-key at holiday assemblies, tapping his feet in time to the music. I noticed when I volunteered in the classroom that when this man made a mistake, he apologized freely, but was unembarrassed about being wrong. He liked his students. He worried about them. He thought they were funny. He laughed at their jokes and meant it.
And this was when I saw my son stand up straighter. Proud all of the sudden of being smart. And silly. And kind. And sensitive. He had other male teachers in elementary school who all seemed to just hammer that same self-assuredness home in my sons and, I think, other people’s sons as well. Men who looked at the world with clear-eyed enthusiasm, who were excited to play three-on-three basketball while they supervised recess or owned an array of holiday-themed sweatshirts to wear for any occasion.
It was such a lucky blend of all of the best scenarios at that little school for us. The boys had wonderful women who taught them, who encouraged them to stretch and dream and believe in themselves. Just as their male teachers did every single year. They were all better examples of human beings for my sons than I could have hoped for, and they are always on my mind when back-to-school season rolls around. I remember the guilt I carried for not being able to show them how to be men. For not inviting any sort of positive male presence into our lives. I remember the relief in all of us when they met their teachers. When they were given permission to just become the men they were already meant to be: kind and funny and silly and smart.
My son wants to be a teacher now. He is going to a teachers college. He wants to teach 9- and 10-year-olds. He found his best example of a good man in his fourth grade gym teacher. And it changed everything.
Abby Elliott has not tried the omelet. You know the one. In Season 2 of The Bear, we watch Sydney (Ayo Edebiri) painstakingly prepare a boursin cheese omelet for Elliott’s character Natalie, who’s near to the point of collapse from the combined stress of the restaurant opening and her own pregnancy. We see Sydney delicately strain the eggs, fold in the cheese, and then, in the scene’s most mouthwatering and catchy moment, she crumbles a handful of potato chips on the finished product. It’s a beatific gesture of care and patience in a season that’s largely about how hard it is to hold onto such gestures in the midst of the chaos of work and family and social life. I know I’m not the only fan of the show who started crushing chips on their own eggs afterward.
But not Nat. Elliott, 37, who plays the sister of Jeremy Allen White's "Carmy" in the Emmy-nominated series, could barely handle eating the omelet on the day of filming. Elliott was pregnant with her second baby when they shot the second season. “I didn’t have morning sickness,” she told me, “but I had an aversion to eggs, and in that scene I had to use a spit bucket.”
Elliott’s experience of The Bear, at least over the past two seasons, has been full of similarly uncanny back-and-forths between her character’s life on screen and her own life. The show’s producers wrote Nat’s pregnancy into the show after Elliott filled them in — “I was really nervous to tell everybody because I'd never been in that situation before. I told them I think at 10 weeks, and obviously, they were just so kind and thrilled for me, and I think it really worked for Natalie, for the character.”
While Season 2 found Elliott performing her own pregnancy in front of the cameras, Season 3, which shot several months after she gave birth, found Elliott strapping on a baby bump and having to go back and re-inhabit a physical and emotional experience she’d only just recently gone through.
During the second season, Nat’s pregnancy became not just incidental, but structural to the show. The writing team incorporated details from Elliott’s own experience, but also focused on the dual role the character takes as both an anxious expectant mother and the anxious caretaker of The Bear, yet another project that needs her in order to come to fruition. “That's who Natalie is,” she told me. “She's so hesitant and so scared to say out loud that she's pregnant at the same time that she's so hesitant and scared to say out loud that she's going to help out with the restaurant. I think that they're intertwined in a way.” It’s not just, then, that The Bear uses its many mothers — absent and present — to figure its interest in the family; The Bear understands motherhood itself as labor, just like working in the kitchen, just like working on yourself.
Everything the show has to say has been routed through mothers. And Natalie has gradually become the center of that focus.
The Bear has always been a show about moms. Sure, it’s a show about haute cuisine, about class, about legacies of trauma, about grief, about Chicago, about education, about ambition, about the very idea of creative genius, about perfect white T-shirts and Thom Browne, about family, born and chosen. But underneath all of this, the show has long been built atop a pervasive fascination with mothers and motherhood. If this is a show about family, what that often means, on screen, is that it’s about mothers, monstrous or lost. In the background of every Sydney story is that she grew up without her mother, Marcus’ arc from the beginning of the second season through to Season 3 is his mother’s long illness and eventual passing, Tina’s brilliant standalone episode “Napkins” this season goes out of its way to frame her as a working mother, and, of course, the supernova of matriarch Donna Berzatto in Season 2’s “Fishes” cast a roasting light on everything before it in the show and much that has transpired after. Everything the show has to say about that aforementioned list of ideas — from food to trauma and back again — has been routed through mothers. And Natalie has gradually become the center of that focus.
All of this comes together late in the season in “Ice Chips,” this season’s standout, standalone episode about Natalie’s labor and her fraught relationship with her mom Donna (Jamie Lee Curtis). In the episode, Nat goes into labor just as all of her most trusted friends and family have locked down their phones for service at the restaurant, and so Nat is left to call her semi-estranged mom. What transpires is, in some ways, exactly what Nat expected — a blustering, bullshitting mother making the whole thing about her — and, in other ways, exactly what she needed.
To prepare for the episode, Elliott went back and rewatched video footage of her recent real-life labor, shot by her own — considerably more supportive — mother. “Getting back into the feeling of being pregnant and the hormones,” she told me, “that was a huge thing for me. Trying to accurately depict the contractions and the pain of those and just how deep in the gut it is. And I had a lot of videos from my birth that my mother took and an actual video of my son coming out, which no one ever needs to see, but I watched everything.”
“Ice Chips” stays close to its two mothers, telling its story through their, yes, punchy dialogue, but more than that, through the tiny dramas that play out in the way they look at each other, and breathe with each other.
For all the attention that The Bear’s big, shouty dramatic episodes have drawn, what has always anchored the show is its attentiveness to the detail of its characters’ lives. “Ice Chips” stays close to its two mothers, telling its story through their, yes, punchy dialogue, but more than that, through the tiny dramas that play out in the way they look at each other, and breathe with each other. And for all the justified attention paid to Jamie Lee Curtis’ gargantuan performance, it’s Abby Elliott who makes it real.
“Ice Chips” is a fascinatingly unorthodox entry into the sub-genre of the labor and delivery episode, at least by TV standards. We normally expect a lot of shouting, a lot of cursing, an army of wise and attentive nurses, the steady hand of the family doctor, and, of course, the delivery of a perfectly clean 7- to 8-month-old baby. There’s plenty of shouting and cursing in “Ice Chips,” just like in the rest of the series, just not the kind you’d ordinarily associate with the standard cathartic TV birth. Instead, the episode is imbued with more nuanced, less frequently-represented horrors of labor and delivery.
In “Ice Chips,” for instance, the nurses are detached and occasionally curt. The doctor is shown, not as a lovable familiar, but as an overburdened steward, distracted by the dozens of other women he’s attending to at the same time. (Delivering her baby with a doctor she didn’t know was a detail inspired by her first delivery.) Before filming, Elliott talked with the co-showrunner, producer, and director Joanna Calo, who has two kids and wrote the episode. “We talked about our birth experiences and how uncomfortable and scary it is the first time in the hospital,” Elliott said.
And then there’s the pain. “One thing that I hadn't anticipated was the cervical checks. With my first, I was asking for pain medication for the cervical checks.” The brief jarring moment when Nat has a cervical check is underplayed on screen, but it’s instantly recognizable to anyone who is familiar with the dynamic. “That was really just something that I was thinking about that was on my mind, just how uncomfortable that is, how foreign it feels, and how you just don't expect it. And just also how nonchalant it is for doctors to say these things, that they do it every day, it is comfortable for them, it's normal, and just how scary it is when you don't know what anything means.”
“The labor is the reason why they're together, but showing them together is really what the episode is about.”
And so, in this clinical environment, designed to deliver babies rather than care for mothers, Nat turns to Donna, the best of bad options. “The labor is the reason why they're together,” Elliott says, “but showing them together is really what the episode is about.” The physical pain of being in labor juxtaposed with the equally physical pain of, as Elliott puts it, rehashing the trauma.
This is something every character experiences in this season in some way or another, the phenomenon of desperately needing something from someone else but being unable, ultimately, to find it. In the end, Donna comes through for Nat. Even as she blusters and bullshits and makes it about herself, she gives her daughter what she needs. Elliott told me that, on the show, “motherhood is about a lot of imperfections, a lot of trying and failing and trying and succeeding and hope.” It’s no coincidence that that’s a pretty good description of what The Bear’s about, too.
Phillip Maciak is the TV critic at The New Republic and the author ofAvidly Reads Screen Time. He teaches at Washington University in St. Louis.
So much happens when your baby turns 1. Maybe they’re beginning to walk, and you’re supposed to start taking them to the dentist, and apparently, it’s also the time to start thinking about swim lessons. That’s right — the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) actually recommends starting swim lessons as young as age 1, to protect against the risk of drowning. With all the summer fun by the water, it’s important to be teaching your child about water safety and minimizing their risk as much as possible this season.
Drowning is the leading cause of death for children 1 to 4 years old, and the rates of drowning deaths have risen in recent years. Child health and injury prevention experts agree that enrolling your child in swim lessons that focus on water competency strategies — things like floating or getting to the edge of the pool — can significantly reduce their risk of drowning. “The basic skill of learning how to flip and float is lifesaving, and can be taught to a child as young as one. By teaching children what to do if they fall into the water, how to float and get air, and reach for the side of the pool, we can help avoid having an accident turn into a tragedy,” says Blake Collingsworth, founder of the Joshua Collingsworth Memorial Foundation, in a water safety briefing hosted by the National Drowning Prevention Alliance.
When it comes to keeping kids safe around the water, safety experts say you need multiple layers of protection. That means your pool at home has a four-sided fence around it, and the doors to get to it have alarms on them. Other layers of protection include supervision, having the right life jacket, and having a CPR-trained adult around, according to the NDPA. But the one layer that can travel from home to other pools and natural bodies of water is water competency.
“As a pediatrician, if I had to pick one layer of protection, the one that spans all the ways that you could end up in the water intentionally or unintentionally, all the different kinds of water that you could end up in, the one that's always with you is your water competency,” says Dr. Benjamin Hoffman, M.D., president of the AAP. “We have research that shows it drastically reduces the risk of drowning if they receive lessons about the time they start to walk. If they have basic water survival skills, the learning to flip and float, then you’ve got time to find them and get them out [of the water].”
What to look for in swim lessons for your 1-year-old
We’ve all seen the slightly stressful videos of infant swim lessons on our social media feeds, but the expert panel agreed that there’s not enough data about their safety or efficacy for them to say whether they help reduce drowning risk. For a 1-year-old (or older) child, if you’re wondering what to look for in a swim class, the NDPA has a free checklist on their website just for parents on the hunt. Adam Katchmarchi, PhD, executive director of the National Drowning Prevention Alliance, recommends parents ask the following questions:
Where did the instructor get their training? Who is their certifying organization?
What is their teaching style?
What exactly can you expect them to learn? In what timeframe?
Are there swim lesson scholarships available for kids in my area? This can be helpful if lessons in your budget aren’t working for your child, and you think a different school or private instructor could make a difference.
The “best” swim lessons are like the “best” car seat, says Hoffman — the best one is the kind that fits your child, your lifestyle, and that you’ll use (or in this case, attend). Not all families can afford to choose their child’s instructor, or there may be limited availability where you live. In these cases, Hoffman recommends starting a conversation with your child’s swim instructor about what you can do to help the lessons resonate with your kid.
So, if you have a toddler on your hands, when will you be starting lessons? Summer is the perfect time to start, since lessons double as a way to beat the heat.
Our editors are gearing up for this year’s Amazon’s Prime Day sale on July 16 and 17. But even before the big days, there are plenty of great deals on beauty, home, pet, and kid products you’ve been eyeing. You can also already find a slew of deals on rarely discounted, brand-name items like Apple. Check out these early Prime Day deals and start racking up the savings today.
This LED neck light is perfect for anyone who likes to read late at night (or while a partner is sleeping). It has six brightness levels and three different colors, and it can last up to 80 hours before it needs to be recharged. It's hardly surprising that after 108,000 Amazon reviews, this light has a glowing, 4.7-star average overall rating.
These extra-large blanket storage bags are made of a breathable, non-woven fabric, so you don't have to worry about your extra bedding or winter sweaters getting dusty or moist when they're in storage. Unlike other storage bags, these hold a lot — up to one chunky comforter, three blankets, or 25 pieces of clothing — and you'll be able to see what's inside with the clear storage window.
These iPhone chargers will give your device a full battery in no time — and since they're MFi certified, you can rest easy knowing they're approved by Apple. The set comes with three chargers, each of which has a long, three-foot cord made from a braided nylon material for durability. The USB-C to lightning cables work with most models of iPhones.
50% Off This Outlet Extender That Offers Surge Protection
This five-outlet extender has earned an impressive 59,000-plus five-star reviews on Amazon. It offers surge protection and has five three-prong outlets, as well as three USB-A outlets and one USB-C. It screws into your outlet for stability and has a fireproof shell.
Level up your journaling, calendar-planning, note-taking, and more with this big set of colorful, fine-tip marker pens. Great for writing, drawing, and coloring, these pens use water-based ink for a smooth feel and minimal bleed-through. They feel comfortable in hand and boast a very impressive 4.7-star rating after over 93,000 reviews.
58% Off This 2-Pack Of Skin-Friendly Satin Silk Pillowcases
This scratch-resistant set of highly rated hardside luggage comes with a 20-inch carry-on and a 24-inch piece. Both are expandable and feature 360-degree spinner wheels that let you roll with ease. The 24-inch model has a side-mounted TSA-approved lock to keep your belongings safe and both pieces have adjustable handles with an ergonomic grip.
Get a great night's sleep with this bed sheet set from Utopia. Available in sizes from twin to California king, these sheets are crafted from brushed microfiber polyester. Not only are they soft, but microfiber sheets are also unlikely to shrink or fade in the wash. They're available in over 20 colors.
These popular bathroom rugs — which are designed with soft chenille and microfiber fabrics — are highly absorbent and quick-drying. They're also backed with rubber for some extra grip, and two different sizes are included with the purchase: 24 by 27 inches and 30 by 20 inches. The duo is available in 14 colors.
This Bali T-shirt bra is equally built for comfort and function, thanks to its convertible straps, breathable cups, supportive underwire, and U-shaped back to keep straps from slipping. The lightweight bra comes in 10 colors and a wide range of sizes. It’s earned more than 25,000 positive ratings on Amazon, and right now you can snag it for a serious discount.
These soft and absorbent waffle-weave dishcloths will make it less of a hassle to do the dishes every day. Each machine-washable cloth can be used for cleaning, drying, and wiping down dishes and counters. They have a hanging hook attached, in case you want to hang them to dry. Available in a variety of colors, these popular cloths have over 14,000 five-star reviews on Amazon.
This two-piece dryer vent cleaner kit has tons of fans on Amazon — it has earned over 25,000 five-star reviews raving about how well it fits various vacuums and how effective it is. The 31.5-inch flexible hose can reach years of buildup and the set comes with a brush, as well as an adapter to attach to your vacuum's hose. The kit can be used to clean the coils behind your fridge, too.
These motion sensor night lights can simply be plugged in, and they're good to go -- no worries about installing them or setting them up with a smart speaker. They emit a warm white light that can be set to two different brightness levels, and they'll automatically turn on when they sense motion within about 15 feet.
Available in a range of shades and sizes, this full-coverage wireless bra from Playtex will provide you comfort and support all day long. Made from nylon and spandex, it's designed with high sides and fuller cups to prevent any spillage. Plus, the wide straps and a smooth back help lift and support.
Along with body temperature, this non-contact thermometer can measure food, beverage, and room temperature as well. With an LCD screen, it has three backlit colors depending on your temperature — green for normal, orange for medium, and red for fever.
Available in dozens of colors, these high-waisted leggings are not see-through, feature four-way stretch, and are sweat-wicking to stay cool. They're stretchy enough to be comfortable all day long without losing their shape or snug fit.
60% Off This Useful 3-Pack Of Multipurpose Scissors
This three-pack of scissors is a best-seller on Amazon with over 70,000 reviews and a 4.8-star overall rating. Each pair features sharp stainless steel blades and a comfortable, ergonomic handle, and they're great for all kinds of household tasks from cutting paper and packages to trimming fabric when sewing.
Having a Sharpie (or several) tends to come in super handy, and this variety pack of the permanent markers has you covered. The set comes complete with two thick chisel-tips, two fine-points, and two ultra fine-point versions — along with a remarkable 4.8-star rating after over 21,000 reviews.
Add much-needed outlets to any room with this 6-foot power strip that has earned a 4.7-star overall rating on Amazon. It has eight three-prong outlets, as well as three USB-A outlets and one USB-C. All of your devices will be kept safe with surge protection and the plug is flat, making it easy to use behind furniture.
You can brighten up your smile in just three weeks with this fan-favorite whitening strip kit from Crest. It uses an enamel-safe design that features the same active ingredient as what dentists use, and each kit includes 44 strips in total (for 22 sets of treatment). The kit is a bestseller on Amazon, with over 65,000 perfect five-star ratings from shoppers.
26% Off These Stretchy Bike Shorts That Have Dual Side Pockets
Offered in three inseam lengths for the perfect fit, these ultra-stretchy biker shorts are perfect for workouts and everyday wear alike. The high-waisted design offers gentle compression, while the dual side pockets are ideal for stashing your daily essentials. Pick them up in a few different colors, because this deal won't last long.
A must-have for streaming all of your favorite shows and movies, the Amazon Fire TV Stick has a 4.7-star overall rating after almost 500,000 reviews. Installation is as easy as plugging it into the back of your TV and it offers full HD streaming. It comes with a remote with dedicated buttons to control the volume and your various peripheral devices (like a soundbar).
Cancel out background noise and enjoy immersive sound with these wireless ear buds, which will enhance any listening experience. Four pairs of silicone tips come with your purchase to ensure that you find the best and most comfortable fit for your ears. Since they're dust, sweat, and water-resistant, they're great to travel with and wear while working out.
With a 40-minute runtime per charge, this stick vacuum can be detached and used as a handheld vacuum. It features LED headlights and an extra large dust cup to reduce how often you need to empty it. A crevice attachment makes it easy to pick up crumbs and pet hair.
50% Off This 2-Piece Set Of Expandable Spinner Luggage
Travel in style with this indestructible two-piece hardshell luggage set. Equipped with spinner wheels, each piece of luggage spins 360 degrees, making this set easy to wheel around airports and other high-traffic areas. But what makes this set extra special is the fact that it includes built-in ports to help you charge your phone on the go. You can buy it in one of seven colors.
With a non-greasy formula and a mild, pleasant scent, this Penetrex cream has become a cult favorite on Amazon for its ability to relieve minor aches and muscle soreness. Packed with plant-based ingredients, it uses actives like arnica, vitamin B6, and MSM to provide soothing relief to muscles and joints. And now is a great time to stock up on this popular cream, which boasts more than 65,000 fans on Amazon.
These double-sided USB-C cables come with an durable nylon shell, so you can bend them up to 12,000 times without any worries. They also feature a extra-durable fiber core to make them even stronger, and this pack is compatable with a bunch of different of devices.
36% Off This Pack Of Schick Hydro Dermaplaning Tools
If you prefer to use hair-removal tools, this easy-to-use dermaplaning pack has a precise design that can remove fine hair while also exfoliating your skin. They're ultra-compact for travel skin care and an even help to shape your brows. They also feature small guards for plenty of skin protection.
60% Off This Best-Selling Continuous Mist Spray Bottle
Unexpectedly, this continuous mist spray bottle is one of Amazon's bestselling beauty products. Perfect to use when styling hair or for a facial refresh (or for misting plants), the light-touch trigger releases a constant stream of fine mist from this leakproof bottle. It has an impressive 4.6-star overall rating.
45% Off This Revlon Volumizer That Also Dries Hair
This cult-favorite hair tool has made it into the bathroom cabinets of a lot of Bustle editors. With nearly 500,000 Amazon reviews and a glowing, 4.6-star average rating, this hair dryer and volumizer works overtime to leave your hair looking like you just left the salon. Snag it at a discount while the sale lasts.
It's hard to find anything this cheap nowadays, especially great makeup like this liquid blush. It's super pigmented, so a little goes a long way. Meanwhile, the formula is lightweight and buildable for blending and contouring. Reviewers note its long-lasting and looks and feels way more expensive than it is.
After more than 230,000 reviews, these pillows have earned their place as an Amazon best-seller — and for good reason. These are made with a cotton cover with a thread count of 250, and they're filled with soft down alternative that's suitable for all types of sleepers. Snag them on sale while you can.
It was a sporty weekend for the Wales family as Prince George joined Prince William at the Euro Finals. Princess Charlotte joined Princess Kate at Wimbledon.
Our editors are gearing up for this year’s Amazon’s Prime Day sale on July 16 and 17. But even before the big days, there are plenty of great deals on beauty, home, pet, and kid products you’ve been eyeing. You can also already find a slew of deals on rarely discounted, brand-name items like Apple. Check out these early Prime Day deals and start racking up the savings today.
Get a great night's sleep with this bed sheet set from Utopia. Available in sizes from twin to California king, these sheets are crafted from brushed microfiber polyester. Not only are they soft, but microfiber sheets are also unlikely to shrink or fade in the wash. They're available in over 20 colors.
These extra-large blanket storage bags are made of a breathable, non-woven fabric, so you don't have to worry about your extra bedding or winter sweaters getting dusty or moist when they're in storage. Unlike other storage bags, these hold a lot — up to one chunky comforter, three blankets, or 25 pieces of clothing — and you'll be able to see what's inside with the clear storage window.
This Bali T-shirt bra is equally built for comfort and function, thanks to its convertible straps, breathable cups, supportive underwire, and U-shaped back to keep straps from slipping. The lightweight bra comes in 10 colors and a wide range of sizes. It’s earned more than 25,000 positive ratings on Amazon, and right now you can snag it for a serious discount.
These soft and absorbent waffle-weave dishcloths will make it less of a hassle to do the dishes every day. Each machine-washable cloth can be used for cleaning, drying, and wiping down dishes and counters. They have a hanging hook attached, in case you want to hang them to dry. Available in a variety of colors, these popular cloths have over 14,000 five-star reviews on Amazon.
This two-piece dryer vent cleaner kit has tons of fans on Amazon — it has earned over 25,000 five-star reviews raving about how well it fits various vacuums and how effective it is. The 31.5-inch flexible hose can reach years of buildup and the set comes with a brush, as well as an adapter to attach to your vacuum's hose. The kit can be used to clean the coils behind your fridge, too.
These motion sensor night lights can simply be plugged in, and they're good to go -- no worries about installing them or setting them up with a smart speaker. They emit a warm white light that can be set to two different brightness levels, and they'll automatically turn on when they sense motion within about 15 feet.
58% Off This 2-Pack Of Skin-Friendly Satin Silk Pillowcases
These popular bathroom rugs — which are designed with soft chenille and microfiber fabrics — are highly absorbent and quick-drying. They're also backed with rubber for some extra grip, and two different sizes are included with the purchase: 24 by 27 inches and 30 by 20 inches. The duo is available in 14 colors.
Available in a range of shades and sizes, this full-coverage wireless bra from Playtex will provide you comfort and support all day long. Made from nylon and spandex, it's designed with high sides and fuller cups to prevent any spillage. Plus, the wide straps and a smooth back help lift and support.
This LED neck light is perfect for anyone who likes to read late at night (or while a partner is sleeping). It has six brightness levels and three different colors, and it can last up to 80 hours before it needs to be recharged. It's hardly surprising that after 108,000 Amazon reviews, this light has a glowing, 4.7-star average overall rating.
Along with body temperature, this non-contact thermometer can measure food, beverage, and room temperature as well. With an LCD screen, it has three backlit colors depending on your temperature — green for normal, orange for medium, and red for fever.
Available in dozens of colors, these high-waisted leggings are not see-through, feature four-way stretch, and are sweat-wicking to stay cool. They're stretchy enough to be comfortable all day long without losing their shape or snug fit.
60% Off This Useful 3-Pack Of Multipurpose Scissors
This three-pack of scissors is a best-seller on Amazon with over 70,000 reviews and a 4.8-star overall rating. Each pair features sharp stainless steel blades and a comfortable, ergonomic handle, and they're great for all kinds of household tasks from cutting paper and packages to trimming fabric when sewing.
Having a Sharpie (or several) tends to come in super handy, and this variety pack of the permanent markers has you covered. The set comes complete with two thick chisel-tips, two fine-points, and two ultra fine-point versions — along with a remarkable 4.8-star rating after over 21,000 reviews.
Level up your journaling, calendar-planning, note-taking, and more with this big set of colorful, fine-tip marker pens. Great for writing, drawing, and coloring, these pens use water-based ink for a smooth feel and minimal bleed-through. They feel comfortable in hand and boast a very impressive 4.7-star rating after over 93,000 reviews.
20% Off These Incredibly Popular Beckham Hotel Collection Pillows
After more than 230,000 reviews, these pillows have earned their place as an Amazon best-seller — and for good reason. These are made with a cotton cover with a thread count of 250, and they're filled with soft down alternative that's suitable for all types of sleepers. Snag them on sale while you can.
50% Off This Outlet Extender That Offers Surge Protection
This five-outlet extender has earned an impressive 59,000-plus five-star reviews on Amazon. It offers surge protection and has five three-prong outlets, as well as three USB-A outlets and one USB-C. It screws into your outlet for stability and has a fireproof shell.
55% Off This Scratch-Resistant Luggage Set From Samsonite
This scratch-resistant set of highly rated hardside luggage comes with a 20-inch carry-on and a 24-inch piece. Both are expandable and feature 360-degree spinner wheels that let you roll with ease. The 24-inch model has a side-mounted TSA-approved lock to keep your belongings safe and both pieces have adjustable handles with an ergonomic grip.
Add much-needed outlets to any room with this 6-foot power strip that has earned a 4.7-star overall rating on Amazon. It has eight three-prong outlets, as well as three USB-A outlets and one USB-C. All of your devices will be kept safe with surge protection and the plug is flat, making it easy to use behind furniture.
These iPhone chargers will give your device a full battery in no time — and since they're MFi certified, you can rest easy knowing they're approved by Apple. The set comes with three chargers, each of which has a long, three-foot cord made from a braided nylon material for durability. The USB-C to lightning cables work with most models of iPhones.
You can brighten up your smile in just three weeks with this fan-favorite whitening strip kit from Crest. It uses an enamel-safe design that features the same active ingredient as what dentists use, and each kit includes 44 strips in total (for 22 sets of treatment). The kit is a bestseller on Amazon, with over 65,000 perfect five-star ratings from shoppers.
26% Off These Stretchy Bike Shorts That Have Dual Side Pockets
Offered in three inseam lengths for the perfect fit, these ultra-stretchy biker shorts are perfect for workouts and everyday wear alike. The high-waisted design offers gentle compression, while the dual side pockets are ideal for stashing your daily essentials. Pick them up in a few different colors, because this deal won't last long.
The number one bestseller in clothing, jewelry, and shoes on Amazon, classic Crocs are a must-have for going to the beach, the pool, and for everyday wear. The well-cushioned sole makes them feel like walking on clouds and they come in lots of colors and sizes in the listing.
A must-have for streaming all of your favorite shows and movies, the Amazon Fire TV Stick has a 4.7-star overall rating after almost 500,000 reviews. Installation is as easy as plugging it into the back of your TV and it offers full HD streaming. It comes with a remote with dedicated buttons to control the volume and your various peripheral devices (like a soundbar).
Cancel out background noise and enjoy immersive sound with these wireless ear buds, which will enhance any listening experience. Four pairs of silicone tips come with your purchase to ensure that you find the best and most comfortable fit for your ears. Since they're dust, sweat, and water-resistant, they're great to travel with and wear while working out.
With a 40-minute runtime per charge, this stick vacuum can be detached and used as a handheld vacuum. It features LED headlights and an extra large dust cup to reduce how often you need to empty it. A crevice attachment makes it easy to pick up crumbs and pet hair.
50% Off This 2-Piece Set Of Expandable Spinner Luggage
Travel in style with this indestructible two-piece hardshell luggage set. Equipped with spinner wheels, each piece of luggage spins 360 degrees, making this set easy to wheel around airports and other high-traffic areas. But what makes this set extra special is the fact that it includes built-in ports to help you charge your phone on the go. You can buy it in one of seven colors.
With a non-greasy formula and a mild, pleasant scent, this Penetrex cream has become a cult favorite on Amazon for its ability to relieve minor aches and muscle soreness. Packed with plant-based ingredients, it uses actives like arnica, vitamin B6, and MSM to provide soothing relief to muscles and joints. And now is a great time to stock up on this popular cream, which boasts more than 65,000 fans on Amazon.
These double-sided USB-C cables come with an durable nylon shell, so you can bend them up to 12,000 times without any worries. They also feature a extra-durable fiber core to make them even stronger, and this pack is compatable with a bunch of different of devices.
36% Off This Pack Of Schick Hydro Dermaplaning Tools
If you prefer to use hair-removal tools, this easy-to-use dermaplaning pack has a precise design that can remove fine hair while also exfoliating your skin. They're ultra-compact for travel skin care and an even help to shape your brows. They also feature small guards for plenty of skin protection.
60% Off This Best-Selling Continuous Mist Spray Bottle
Unexpectedly, this continuous mist spray bottle is one of Amazon's bestselling beauty products. Perfect to use when styling hair or for a facial refresh (or for misting plants), the light-touch trigger releases a constant stream of fine mist from this leakproof bottle. It has an impressive 4.6-star overall rating.
45% Off This Revlon Volumizer That Also Dries Hair
This cult-favorite hair tool has made it into the bathroom cabinets of a lot of Bustle editors. With nearly 500,000 Amazon reviews and a glowing, 4.6-star average rating, this hair dryer and volumizer works overtime to leave your hair looking like you just left the salon. Snag it at a discount while the sale lasts.
It's hard to find anything this cheap nowadays, especially great makeup like this liquid blush. It's super pigmented, so a little goes a long way. Meanwhile, the formula is lightweight and buildable for blending and contouring. Reviewers note its long-lasting and looks and feels way more expensive than it is.
This 100% cotton T-shirt from Hanes is a certified classic with its soft, lightweight feel. The style is also timeless with a reinforced crew neck and versatile short-sleeve cut. If you don't believe the specs, believe the nearly 29,000 five-star reviews. This easy-to-style piece comes in over 20 colors and sizes Small to 5X-Large.