Feeling sexy means something different to everybody, but one thing is certain ― it doesn't have to mean sex. The root word is there, but sexy's informal definition is "exciting; appealing." In a relationship, that's a huge way to use the word sexy. Because the little sexy things long-term couples do to stay close don't always have to lead to a romp in the bedroom. Sometimes, those sexy little things mean being desirable, interesting, and, yes, exciting and appealing.
Relationships are challenging, so when you find a way to feel closer to your partner, you want to jump on the opportunity, especially if it's a small act that you can integrate into your daily life. With work, family, friends, and the hustle and bustle of life, relationships tend to fall to the bottom of your priority list. And when you try and give it a little oomph and work at it? You're met with articles on proper counseling techniques, conversation topics, and other boring ways to get closer to your partner that totally miss the mark.
What you really need are these 60 sexy little things for long-term couples to do in order to stay close. They may not sound traditionally sexy, but their results are amazing. Not only will both you and your partner feel more desired than ever, but you'll feel more connected and intimate with them ― no sex necessary. (Although sex is always encouraged if you want it.)
Cook A Meal Together
Cooking can be incredibly sexy, and if you don't believe me, grab your partner and get in the kitchen. Feed each other the food as you cook, really let yourself get into the act of chopping and simmering, and spend time together laughing and talking. Plus, you're working together to take care of each other with an awesome meal. What's sexier than that?
Take A Shower Together
A no-brainer, but a perfectly sexy gesture. Wash your partner's hair, have them soap up your back, and remember that you don't even have to get it on to make this whole experience sexy and intimate. (Because shower sex is not all that fun anyway.)
Touch Each Other When You Sleep
My husband is like Ross and Chandler ― he loves to snuggle, but when it's time to sleep, I get the hug-and-roll treatment. But we still like to hold hands, have our ankles cross, or touch each other in some way while we're sleeping.
Undress Each Other
Slowly. Savor your partner's touch and get a good look at their sexy body. It's not only empowering for you to have your SO look at you like you're the most beautiful thing in the world, but it's a really romantic, intimate move.
Hold Hands
Even if you're just running in the post office for a book of stamps, the simple act of hand-holding can be wonderfully charming.
Give Massages
Without any promise of sex afterward. Sure, it may lead to that, but massages can also be incredibly sensual and sexy (not to mention stress-relieving) without needing to get it on at the end.
Read Together
Reading something you love can be so sexy, so make it a point to read with your partner. You can read the same book together, or each read your own favorite, but the act of being together while you share in a favorite hobby is seriously sweet.
Sweat Together
Whether it's the gym or heading out on a hike, get active with your boo. Bonus points if you’re extra competitive and turn your next sweat sesh into a sexy game or fun foot race.
Go On "High School" Dates
You know the ones. Driving around for hours, making out in a parking lot, and then picking up milkshakes from the drive-thru. Simple, but a blissfully adorable way to connect.
Touch Each Other Often
I love that every time my husband walks by me, he touches me somewhere. Whether it's a squeeze on my shoulder or a full bear hug, it doesn't matter. It's sexy, and I love that he literally can't keep his hands off of me.
Sit Near Each Other
Some people aren't big cuddlers, and I get that. But you should at least make an effort to be near your partner. When you're both working, still sit next to each other on the couch. If you go out with a group for dinner, sit across from each other or take up the corner of the table.
Laugh Together
All the time. Laughter is sexy and so is a great sense of humor. So tell jokes, pull pranks on each other, and just be generally silly as much as possible.
Take Each Other Shopping
Pick out something for your SO, and let them do the same for you. It's fun, and you'll get a glimpse into what your partner thinks is sexy on you. (aka, everything.)
Sext Each Other
OK, this may have a little bit to do with sex, but it still doesn't have to go that way if you don't want it to. Sexting makes both of you feel good and can be a serious turn-on.
Have A Make-Out Sesh
Like, a real one. Hands all over each other, in the middle of a movie, on the couch kind of make-out sesh. Do it randomly, like before you head off to work in the morning, or right before you're meeting your parents for dinner. Super sexy, and will brew some serious intimacy between you two.
Look At Each Other
Seriously, really look at each other. When your partner's telling you a story, look in their eyes and listen intently. Watch their hands as they use them to describe something to you, or watch the way they walk into a room full of people.
Miss Each Other
Go out on a friends' night and encourage your partner to see their friends. Missing each other is good for both of you.
Talk About Your Goals
What's sexier than ambition? Talk to your partner about your goals as much as you can — both the goals you two have together and the ones you have separately. You'll be able to motivate each other and keep the goals in mind when you're having future conversations.
Send Sexy Pictures To Each Other
No, they don't have to be nudes! Your partner might look really sexy when they're working, and maybe you feel sexiest when you're at the gym. Even those silly snaps of you elbow-deep in finger paints with the kids can brighten your partner’s day. Send pictures that make you feel good, and I guarantee your partner will love them.
Feed Each Other
Especially if it's something like ice cream or chocolate. It may not sound it, but I promise you, it can be really sexy. So, the next time your partner wants a bite off of your plate, grab your fork and try it.
Get Handsy On Dates
And I don't just mean in a sexual way. (Although that's fun, too!) Let them pull out your chair and feed them with the food off your plate ― no one's suggesting you two have to be joined at the hip, but touching each other and doing things for each other is sexy.
Continue To Court Each Other
Always. Until the end of time. Those little things that kept you both wanting to be around each other when you were first together are the very same things that will keep you together for years to come.
Check Each Other Out
Look up and down your partner’s body when they step out of the shower or while they’re getting ready for work. Just make sure they see you checking them out — they'll love it.
Talk About Fantasies
Sexual fantasies are totally hot, but also talk about the ones that you just like to daydream about, like moving to Alaska.
Keep Each Other Motivated
Remember when I said to talk about goals? Remind your partner of their goals and motivate them to do the best they can. Be their biggest cheerleader.
Break The Texting Routine
We can all fall into ruts, even with our texting habits. It's easy to just text good morning, random "how's your day going" texts, and "on my way home" messages. Break the routine with funny GIFs, links to a news story you know they'd love, or simply remind them of how much you love them.
Flirt
Like, all the time. Never stop flirting with your partner.
Enjoy Each Other's Interests
My husband is a huge football fan and he managed to get me into it as well. I don't know if he finds it sexy, but I think it is. Just like I would think it's sexy if he decided to write some stand-up comedy with me one day. (Hint hint, babe.) Invite your partner to join in your interests and enjoy their hobbies, too.
Dance Together
Even if it's just in the living room to the Top 40 Spotify station on your phone — dance! There’s just nothing more romantic than twirling around wrapped in one another’s arms.
Netflix & Actually Chill
Like, pajamas on, blanket wrapped around you kind of chill. And actually watch the show, not the news feed on your phone.
Walk Around Half-Naked
Or, totally naked. You know, to gain your own self-confidence and to drive your SO wild.
Get Ready In Front Of Each Other
I get that not every part of the process is sexy (I don't want anyone watching me pluck my eyebrows), but I do love watching my husband fix his hair or put on a tie.
Say "I'm Sorry"
It's always sexy when someone can admit they're wrong and try to fix it, so say these words any time you need to.
Compliment Each Other's Personalities
Telling your partner they have a great butt is fine, but don't forget to also compliment their sense of humor, their work ethic, or the way they act with the kids.
Fall Asleep Together
As in, go to bed at the same time and actually fall asleep together. As tempting as it may be to crash solo while your partner stays up late or vice versa, heading to bed together is a really wonderful and sexy way to end the day.
Write To Each Other
Never underestimate the power of a handwritten love letter. Sometimes our words get muddled when we try to verbalize them, so I've always found that writing helps, especially when you want to say something specific to your love.
Don't Let Your Partner Walk All Over You
It's sexy to stand up for yourself, even if it's against your own partner. Your SO will find your independence and the way you handle yourself attractive, even if it's against them.
Make Each Other Coffee In The Morning
Especially if one or both of you values acts of service as a love language, this gesture is just so sweet. And honestly, just take care of each other in general. It's the most intimate gesture you can do for someone else.
Touch Each Other In The Car
Another personal story, but I really love when my husband puts his hand on my knee or holds my hand in the car. Something about it is totally endearing and, yes, sexy.
Wear Something You Know Your Partner Loves On You
You should always wear what you want, but if you know your partner digs you in that purple dress, wear it on a random Monday afternoon. They'll notice the gesture, I'm sure of it.
Be Nice To Their Friends
You don't have to love them like you love your own (although eventually, you might) but you should at the very least be cordial to them. It shows that you're willing to accept their friends, which means accepting your partner on some level, too.
Be Spontaneous
Grab their hand and take them out for ice cream. Tell them to be ready at 7 a.m. so you can pick them up for breakfast. Spontaneity often gets lost in the routine of life, but it's always sexy and easy to pick back up.
Leave Notes Around The House
What’s more encouraging than finding a Post-it in your car or on the bathroom mirror that says you’re going to nail that presentation at work? My husband and I stash little “I love you” notes in unexpected places like the bottom of a coffee cup and each other’s underwear drawers. Finding them everywhere is the best kind of surprise.
Be Kind Together
Nothing brings you closer to your partner than doing good together. Split a mom's bill at the grocery store or spend your Sunday volunteering at an animal shelter. You'll find your partner irresistibly sexy as they act selflessly, and you'll be doing the world some good, too.
Learn Something New Together
Even if it's not an actual thing to do, you can still learn something together. Catch a documentary or check out a book from the library on a topic you're both interested in. Learning is sexy!
Do Something Unexpected For Your Partner Without Expectations
This can be something as simple as cleaning out their car or refilling their gas tank. It doesn’t have to be over-the-top complicated to be a meaningful gesture.
Kiss Each Other All The Time
Seriously. In public, at church, before you leave for work, while you're doing dishes ― kiss each other often.
Act Silly Together
Build a fort out of your bed sheets or play whiffle ball in the rain. When you let your inhibitions down and are silly for the sake of being silly together, you'll be amazed at how your relationship strengthens.
Say "Thank You"
Even if it's for something as simple as your partner handing you the milk from the fridge, say "thank you." Expressing gratitude can be super sexy.
Pick Up Their Favorite Things At The Store
I absolutely abhor Fritos, but I know my husband loves them, so I'm willing to pick up a bag for him when I stop at a store. It shows sincere appreciation for your SO and that you're always thinking of them, even in trivial matters like groceries.
Have Healthy Fighting Habits
For example, don't use your partner's insecurities to win a fight, and don't let your emotions get the best of you. Fights are going to happen, but they should be clean and healthy.
Have Technology-Free Nights
Or, if you’re brave, go the entire day. No phones, no TV, no computers ― just you and your partner enjoying time together.
Say "I Love You" Every Time You Want To
You know those moments where you feel the words bubbling up inside you and you want to say them, but your partner's busy on the phone or watching TV? Say them anyway. Write them down, sign them out, text them ― when you feel the urge to tell your partner you love them, just do it.
Do A Chore They Hate
If your partner can’t stand folding laundry or taking out the trash, be the person who does that for them sometimes. Especially if it’s something you know they loathe, but they generally do it anyway. Giving them a break from it can be a great way to show you care.
Watch Each Other’s Favorite Movies
Similar to showing interest in one another’s hobbies, take the time to watch your SO’s all-time favorite movie with them. Pop some popcorn and let them talk your ear off about their favorite flick, and then have them do the same for you.
Open Doors For Each Other
Ok, I know that this is one of those chivalrous things that you might immediately think of men doing for women, but stick with me here. Opening your partner’s car door for them or holding open the door when you enter a store is a kind gesture that you can do for them regardless of gender. It just makes their life a little easier and shows you are thinking of them.
Invest In Small Surprises
You know the ones — a fun pair of socks, a delicious-smelling air freshener for the car, an inexpensive bouquet of flowers. Just anything you know your partner will like that doesn’t cost you an arm and a leg that you can surprise them with.
Present A United Front
There may come a time when one or both of you has a disagreement with a friend or family member. Whether it’s over something insignificant or something monumental, being on your partner’s side for better or for worse shows support and solidarity.
Get Outside Together
Fresh air does your body good. Take a walk together, go for a run or hike, go to a park or lake — just doing something together outdoors can be refreshingly sexy for you as a couple.
Celebrate Together
Find ways to celebrate with your partner. You can plan a trip for a milestone anniversary, have a special meal to celebrate a small win at work, pour a glass of champagne to commemorate the date you met — big or small, celebrate life with the one you love.
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