Mother’s Day is — supposedly — the one day of the year when moms can look forward to some relief. Every single day we love with everything we have, while questioning if we’re doing it right. And we always have a nagging sense of guilt for how our parenting may be lacking. So, when Mother’s Day comes around, we need that massive pat on the back and unending praise, and honestly, we don’t get it enough.
This year has been tough (and all the other words that are a synonym for tough). Moms have tackled remote learning, lack of socialization, birthing babies in a pandemic, working to make memorable experiences for our families despite being quarantined, and managing all the emotions and phases of mental health crisis along the way. Moms consistently keep the family's wheels turning properly, and most of the heroic feats happen behind the scene. You may never see her putting clothes away, but there are always fresh socks when you reach in the drawer. Because we do it so well, it can easily be taken for granted. But without fail, we use our superhero abilities to organize a home while nurturing everyone around us, and then do it all over again the next day.
So after this year of overwhelming added stress, moms deserve to have their partners do these things on Mother’s Day to show their appreciation. You hear that, partners? It’s time to step up.
Give Her A Real Break
The best way to start this day is by having to do absolutely nothing. You can make that possible by waking up a bit early and totally managing the kids — breakfast and all. And that includes cleanup! And entertaining those kids! And not running out the door the minute she wakes up.
Give Her More Than A Craft
No diss to crafting — I keep the clay cups and special cards my babies have made for me. But a locket with the kid's photos or a bracelet with their names will carry so much meaning that she can keep close and wear daily. Or get a gift that maybe fits her favorite hobby so that she can definitely have some self-care and alone time.
Send Her On A Date
After your family has appropriately celebrated her awesomeness, send her out with a mom friend so she can enjoy some time being an adult without carrying a bag of diapers. Hopefully she has a pandemic buddy (a fellow mom taking the same precautions), and they can grab a coffee or appropriately distance at the park. The point is for her to take a breather from responsibilities and enjoy the day.
Assist Her In Self-Care
Mothering is all about taking care of little humans and often denying yourself in the process. Moms don’t always take time to pamper themselves, and when it does happen, it’s either few and far between, or very minimal. As a partner, you can send her to get a facial or a pedicure, take care of the laundry so she can actually relax with a book, make dinner so she can go to bed early — whatever her version of self-care looks like, help make it happen.
Silence The Word “Mom”
“Mom, Mom, Ma, Mommy, Mama!”
Mental exhaustion is real. I can’t tell you how many times my girls have gotten up from sitting next to their dad, come in my room, and knocked on the bathroom door to ask me a question. My name is called a million times a day. And no matter how much we moms love our little squishy babies, we could use a mute button. So by establishing this as a rule for the day, she will love you forever.
Give Her A Head Start On Her Usual Tasks
As partners, we share duties in life. A great gift is to give mom the head start for whatever her typical household or family duties may be. This may mean buying the groceries, getting the kids’ clothes out for the week, packing the diaper bag, or even just filling up her vehicle with gas. Some of the smallest things matter so much.
Set Up An In-Home Fancy Dinner
Door dash makes this one pretty easy. Order her favorite meal from her favorite restaurant. Children love to be helpful, so you can make this a fun time for both them and mom. Set up a fancy dinner and let everyone in the family cater to her. Throw a napkin over your arm and put on your classy voice.
Plan A Future Treat For Her Just Because
It’s nice to get all this love on Mother’s Day, but there’s nothing like a random show of love just because. Choose a day on the calendar to surprise her with a me-day in the future to show that you appreciate her every day.
Make Her Slow Down
Unfortunately, some moms don’t know how to flip the off button and reenergize. If you say you’ll take care of the kids, she may still be in mommy mode by telling you what you should make them for breakfast and trying to stick to a schedule. Show her you got this (even if it takes coercing) and strongly encourage her to turn her brain off. But make sure you really got this, so she doesn’t have to step back in the parenting game for the day.
Speak Her Language
Is your partner’s love language receiving gifts, acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch, or quality time? If you buy a bunch of gifts, but she really wants you to mow the lawn and take the kids out of the house, you aren’t filling her love tank. By loving her the way she innately yearns for, you can bring a smile to her face and speak directly to her needs. Take the quick online couple’s quiz so your plans will really make her feel loved and appreciated.
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