When you were a kid, what gift did you really want to get for holidays? Was there one special toy that, to this day, fills you with sweet nostalgia? Well, then you can definitely relate to Ralphie, the blue-eyed bespectacled protagonist of A Christmas Story (you know, the movie that they play for 24 hours straight on both TBS and TNT on Christmas Eve and Day). And if you’ve caught even one viewing of the mega marathon, then you know that there are some really awesome A Christmas Story quotes that are fun to incorporate into your own conversations. Because only true fans of the movie know how to really say the word “fragile”.
Picture it: It’s the ‘40s, and the only thing that 9-year-old Ralphie wants for Christmas is an official Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-shot Range Model air rifle. (Yep, he wants a BB gun.) But much to his chagrin, everyone from his mom, his teacher Miss Shields, and even Santa himself all tell him the same thing: “You’ll shoot your eye out!” So Ralphie gets creative in his ways to convince everyone that he *needs* the Red Ryder gun, from hiding an ad for the toy in his mother’s magazine, to penning a “What I Want For Christmas” essay, to scaling a pretty steep slide to tell Santa that he wants the BB gun… and not a football.
Truth be told, there are some hilarious one-liners in A Christmas Story, uttered by the Old Man (aka Ralphie’s dad), his younger brother Randy, his mom, and Ralphie himself. So get ready to brush up on your Italian, because this list has all the “frageelay” feels.
“You’ll shoot your eye out!”
“I triple dog dare you!”
“I can’t put my arms down!”
“Only one thing in the world could’ve dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window.”
“Meatloaf, smeatloaf, double beetloaf. I hate meatloaf.”
“He looks like a deranged Easter bunny.”
“In our world, you were either a bully, a toady, or one of the nameless rabble of victims.”
“I didn’t get a tie this year?”
“It’s, uh, smiling at me.”
“Naddafinga!”
“Oh my god, I shot my eye out!”
“We’re all out of glue.”
“He had yellow eyes! So help me God! Yellow eyes!”
“Shut up, Ralphie!”
“He looks like a pink nightmare!”
“Mommy’s little piggie.”
“Adults loved to say things like that but kids knew better. We knew darn well it was always better not to get caught.”
“The Bumpuss hounds hated everyone but my dad.”
“It was... soap poisoning.”
“In the heat of battle, my father wove a tapestry of obscenity, that as far as we know, is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan.”
“That son of a b-tch would freeze up in the middle of summer on the equator!”
“Over the years I got to be quite a connoisseur of soap.”
“Be sure to drink your Ovaltine. Ovaltine? A crummy commercial!”
“Only I didn’t say, ‘Fudge.’ I said THE word, the big one, the queen mother of dirty words, the ‘F-dash-dash-dash’ word!”
“Some men are Baptists, others Catholics; my father was an Oldsmobile man.”
“We plunged into the cornucopia quivering with desire and the ecstasy of unbridled avarice.”
“Aunt Clara had for years labored under the delusion that I was not only perpetually 4 years old, but also a girl.”
“Every family has a kid that won’t eat. My little brother had not eaten voluntarily in over three years.”
“Randy lay there like a slug. It was his only defense.”
“You can put your arms down when you get to school.”
“It’s a major award!”
“Yeah, statue!”
“Three blocks away, Schwartz was getting his.”
“You used up all the glue on purpose!”
And you’ve been waiting for it....
“Fraa-jeel-aay! It must be Italian!”
There are some holiday films that have such memorable moments that you can’t help but remember them. That’s why we triple dog dare you to not quote lines from A Christmas Story, because as far as movies go, it’ll make you want to drink your Ovaltine.
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