Lily Allen doesn’t believe moms really can “have it all,” and she’s tired of people saying we can. The singer and mom of two recently opened up in a podcast interview about how she gave up her career when she had her daughters, and she makes some excellent (though vaguely depressing) points.
The “Smile” singer was a guest on the Radio Times Podcast and spoke bluntly about how becoming mom to 12-year-old daughter Ethel and 11-year-old daughter Marnie, both of whom she shares with ex-husband Sam Cooper, effectively ended her career. “My children ruined my career,” Allen, who married Stranger Things star David Harbour in 2020, admitted when asked how motherhood had changed things in her career. “I love them and they complete me, but in terms of pop stardom, totally ruined it.”
Allen went on to say that it “really annoys me when people say you can have it all because, quite frankly, you can’t,” adding that there are always difficult choices involved. “Some people choose their career over their children, and that’s their prerogative. But my parents were quite absent when I was a kid, and I feel like that really left some nasty scars that I’m not willing to, you know, repeat on mine.”
Allen, who took a break from creating new music from 2014 to 2018, went on to say that she does think her decision to be with her kids instead of pursuing her music career paid off in the end. “So I chose stepping back and concentrating on them and I’m glad that I have done that because I think they’re pretty well-rounded people,” she admitted before adding, “Fingers fu**ing crossed.”
These days, Allen appears to be getting back into the swing of things. She has her own podcast about friendship, Miss Me?, about to launch, and has been dipping her toe into acting in her home country of England. She has starred in two plays in the West End, 2021’s 2:22 A Ghost Story and The Pillowman in 2023, as well as starring onscreen in How To Build A Girl in 2019 and in the television series Dreamland in 2023. Now that her daughters are a little bit older, it seems as though Allen is finding more space for her career.
Still, she makes a good point. Having it all might be an elusive goal for parents. So maybe it’s time to just let it go.
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