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Thursday, August 3, 2023

Why Do Babies Sleep With Their Butt In The Air? It's Comfy For A Reason

Roberto Westbrook/Tetra images/Getty Images

Parents who learn about safe sleep for their newborn know all about putting their little one flat on their back to fall asleep. So, as your tiny babe gets bigger and more mobile, it can stress you out to find your baby sleeping on their belly facing the mattress, though you have to admit, it’s pretty cute. So, why do babies sleep with their butts in the air? Why does your baby keep assuming this position — in which they basically look like a roast chicken — overnight, and is it unsafe?

Why do babies sleep with their butts in the air?

It turns out there are several possibilities for why babies sleep in child’s pose. And Dr. Sophie Shaikh, M.D., board-certified pediatrician and director of Duke Newborn Nurseries at Duke University Hospital, tells Romper in an interview that there are a few popular theories about why your baby loves sleeping froggy style. “There doesn’t seem to be concrete scientific evidence to really explain it for sure,” she explains. “It may feel reminiscent of the fetal position that they are tucked into in the womb, and makes them feel comfortable and secure. Others think that while little ones are learning to sit and crawl, this is a natural position for them to flop forward into once they run out of steam, and they decide to just sleep how they fall.”

FatCamera/E+/Getty Images

Babies like to be tucked up as they are in the womb, notes Dr. Harvey Karp, M.D., in The Happiest Baby on the Block. That’s why swaddling is so effective. When babies realize they can mimic this themselves, either by happenstance of crawling or rolling over, it makes sense they’d be comfortable enough to doze off in that position.

Shaikh’s theory about babies ending up in this position when they get tired from physical exertion (sitting up can take great effort) also makes sense. You’ll notice that your baby sleeping on their knees looks remarkably similar to the position they assume both as they’re learning to crawl and after they begin crawling. Many babies get into that position and rock back and forth for a long time before they even begin to crawl. But when the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) warns parents that babies must always be placed to sleep on their backs to minimize the risk of SIDS, it’s understandable to wish they’d just hold still for once, if only in their sleep. If you find repositioning your baby is pointless and they just flop back onto their tummies, try not to stress.

When do babies stop sleeping with their bums in the air?

If you’re already stressed about when your baby might want to sleep booty up, chances are you’d also like to know when they cut it out too. There’s an average age when babies are able to roll over and sleep on their tummies. As for flipping back over, it depends on their personal preference.

“Not every baby wants to sleep that way, but some certainly love to flip over,” says Dr. Erinn Schmit, M.D., pediatrician at Children’s of Alabama. “Usually babies aren’t rolling both ways until about 5 to 6 months of age. As far as when they might go back to sleeping on their backs, it’s just baby dependent if it’s something that they want to do or not. I agree that younger infants tend to like sleeping on their tummies, whereas toddlers don’t seem to do that quite as often.”

Is it safe for my baby to sleep sleep with their butt in the air?

Schmit emphasizes that there’s no specific age where it’s safe for every baby to sleep butt in the air. Shaikh says it’s OK for your baby to sleep on their knees with their bottom up under one condition:

“If your baby turns onto their belly or side during sleep, it’s safe to leave them in that position if they’ve mastered rolling both ways: belly to back and back to belly,” she says. “If you find that they have managed to get onto their side or belly before that point, you should gently move them onto their back. Even once they are able to roll, it’s important to put your baby down on their back for sleep until they are 1 year old. It’s OK to let them stay on their belly if they turn that way by themselves, but it’s recommended to always start them off on their back.”

Lisa5201/E+/Getty Images

Babies who sleep exclusively on their backs tend to reach motor milestones, like rolling and crawling, a little slower than kids sleeping on their side or bellies, according to the European Journal of Applied Psychology. That may tempt some parents to let their littles snooze face down to help them catch up, but Shaikh notes any developmental differences are minor.

“We do know that babies who are put ‘back to sleep’ take slightly longer to reach their motor milestones than kids that sleep either on their bellies or sides, likely because belly sleeping increases upper body strength that infants need for some of the motor movements,” she says. “However, it’s just slightly longer and still within the normal range. ‘Back to sleep’ positioning doesn’t cause any abnormal delays in reaching the milestones. And doing tummy time while the infant is awake is great for working on those motor skills.”

Doing tummy time while your baby is awake, and you can supervise, is all it takes to help them strengthen key neck and chest muscles. And don’t worry too much about finding newborns flipping over in their sleep. “Don’t stay up all night worrying about your 6-week-old flipping onto their belly,” says Dr. Randy Thornton, M.D., a pediatrician at Jacksonville Pediatrics and Wolfson Children’s Hospital of Jacksonville. “They should not be able to roll over much earlier than 4 months old, but if you find them that way, flip them over. I’ve never seen it happen so I don’t want parents to lose sleep over it. If they start to roll over, generally they have grown out of the risk of SIDS.”

Babies are hilarious, and babies sound asleep with their booties in the air are just precious. And basically, once they can get themselves into the froggy position, they can get themselves back out if they need to. Take some pictures, get some sleep, and see if this new position helps your baby get better rest, too.

Study referenced:

Hewitt, L., Kerr, E., Stanley, R. M., & Okely, A. D. (2020). Tummy time and Infant Health Outcomes: A systematic review. Pediatrics, 145(6). https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2019-2168

Experts:

Dr. Sophie Shaikh, M.D., board-certified pediatrician and director of Duke Newborn Nurseries at Duke Regional Hospital and Duke University Hospital

Dr. Erinn Schmit, M.D., pediatrician at Children’s of Alabama

Dr. Randy Thornton, M.D., pediatrician at Jacksonville Pediatrics and Wolfson Children’s Hospital of Jacksonville in Florida


Wednesday, August 2, 2023

John Legend & Chrissy Teigen Give Tour Of Their Kids' Bedrooms

Architectural Digest/ YouTube

We often get a peek inside Chrissy Teigen and John Legend’s Beverly Hills home when the Cravings cookbook author posts cooking videos on Instagram, but this is the first time the couple has shared just how wild their kids’ bedrooms are. Truly, their daughter Luna and son Miles’ bedrooms are so fantastical, they look like they were plucked right from their imaginations. There’s a slide, a ball pit, a climbing wall, and both of their rooms have two stories.

Legend and Teigen, who recently welcomed a baby boy named Wren via surrogate, five months after the birth of their daughter Esti, took Architectural Digest on tour of their home for the magazine’s September Style issue. Legend told Architectural Digest that he and Teigen wanted to “create something magical, especially for the kids” with their new home. And magical definitely seems to fit the vibe of Luna and Miles’ bedrooms.

With the help of AD100 designer Jake Arnold, the parents of four transformed Luna’s bedroom into a pastel play palace and Miles’ room into a safari adventure filled with dinosaurs and giraffes.

Let’s start with Luna’s room, which Legend acknowledges is “cool” in a video tour of their home. “We just gave Jake [their designer] some vague notes about how we wanted the kids’ rooms to look and when he came back with drawings of what they were actually going to look like, I was like, ‘This is beyond anyone’s wildest dreams of what their bedroom should looks like.’”

Architectural Digest/ YouTube

Luna’s room bed has a pink slide that she “goes both up and down,” according to Legend. While most of us didn’t grow up with a slide in our rooms, like most kids’ bedrooms, Luna’s room also has glow-in-the-dark star stickers scattered on the wall behind her bed, where “many Amelia Bedelia books are read,” Teigen says.

Architectural Digest/ YouTube

Luna’s room also has a little kitchen, complete with a Easy-Bake Oven

Architectural Digest/ YouTube

Luna’s room also features a little swinging couch and a cozy nook where she and Miles have sleepovers.

Architectural Digest/ YouTube

While Luna’s room has a more serene vibe, Miles’ is definitely more adventurous.

“Miles loves cars if you can’t tell,” Legend says. “The centerpiece, of course, is the Jeep bunkbed.”

Architectural Digest/ YouTube
Architectural Digest/ YouTube
Architectural Digest/ YouTube

Miles’ room has a cozy “cave” where he likes to read and there’s also a climbing wall he can use to get the second story of his nook.

Architectural Digest/ YouTube

“There’s a little climbing wall in the corner where he can climb up that way to get up on the second little story of his nook and cave,” Teigen says, adding that his room has lots of storage for his many dinosaurs and giraffes.

Esti and Wren’s nurseries weren’t included in the tour, but they did give us a glimpse of their home theater, where the kids like to jump around and watch movies like Scooby-Doo. “We don’t watch a lot in here, but the kids do,” Legend says.

Architectural Digest/ YouTube

“We like to jump in here!” Miles yells during the tour.

“It’s an easy place to jump and not get hurt,” Legend adds. “Miles loves it.”

Architectural Digest/ YouTube

For their home theater, Teigen says she loves that “it’s lush, it’s feminine, it’s beautiful.” But can you even say you have a home theater if it doesn’t have a nacho station? No, no you cannot.

Architectural Digest/ YouTube

“We usually have a nacho machine in here,” Legend says as Teigen pulls out several bags of manufactured cheese. These kids have it made, folks.


This 'Bluey' Theory About Chilli & Lucky's Dad Pat Is Quite Scandalous

Disney+

At this point it’s just a fact: fish swim, birds fly, and Bluey is made for preschoolers but no one loves it more than adults. It’s a show that captures parenting like no other, depicting the whimsy, exhaustion, struggle, joy, and constant accidental kicks to the crotch (ask any dad). But there’s a consequence of a children’s show having an adult fandom: decidedly not G-rated fan theories. Melanie Zanetti, who plays Bluey’s mom Chilli, recently dispelled one particularly prurient rumor about Chilli and Lucky’s dad, Pat.

In a recent interview with Yahoo! Lifestyle, the Australian actress talked about how, while kids don’t tend to care that she’s the voice of Mrs. Heeler (“they have cognitive dissonance”), parents “just lose their mind.” She was also delighted to learn that some teenagers love the preschool show so much that they have Bluey-themed birthday parties. When Yahoo! Lifestyle asked about the “insane fan theories on TikTok,” Zanetti adopted a cheekily offended posture.

“I’ve heard some slanderous things about Chilli and Lucky’s dad, which are not true, just for the record!” she said directly to the camera. She then placed her hands into a heart shape and proudly declared “Bandit and Chilli forever.”

Now fan theories about Bluey, especially on TikTok and Reddit, are practically as old as the show itself and, honestly, a lot of them feel pretty credible. The idea Bluey is a rainbow baby, for example, absolutely tracks for us. It also feels very possible that Bingo has a gluten allergy or Celiac disease, Jack has ADHD, Bandit’s dad Bob is either dead or in a care facility, and, yes, Chilli and Bandit were hungover that one New Year’s Day. All of these theories are based in on-screen context clues and, in some cases, simple reading between the lines that maybe kids won’t get immediately but parents probably will.

But then some of you all don’t know how to act. You devilishly rub your hands together and manically wonder “what else can I do...?” and just say the most outlandish, unserious things possible. Like that time some of you said Chilli and Bandit’s respective jobs and beautiful house mean they’re antiquities smugglers. (OK, that one was funny because I don’t think anyone was actually serious about it, but still.)

This brings us to this Lucky’s dad business. First of all, his name is Pat and he’s appeared in no fewer than 20 episodes of Bluey. He’s married to Janelle and has two sons, Lucky and Chucky. The family lives next door to the Heelers with whom he seems to have a friendly relationship.

“Maybe... scandalously friendly?” some of you have been saying.

No, but let’s get into it.

Disney+
These two would never.

Fans on Reddit have questioned some of Chilli and Pat’s interactions over the years. Their playful banter in “Stumpfest!” The way Pat shouts “Shake it, Chilli!” as she dances in the crosswalk in “Dance Mode.” And... ... honestly that’s kind of it. Comedian Zach Mander takes it (jokingly) farther by suggesting that Bandit and Chilli are actually swingers, citing the preponderance of pineapples, a symbol swingers sometimes use to signal to one another in their home.

OK, so we have...

-two moments that can also be read as entirely platonic

-pineapples (it’s not that deep: Queensland Australia, where the show takes place, is just known for pineapples. Besides, only upsidedown pineapples are associated with swingers. Rightside-up pineapples just mean “hospitality.” G-rated hospitality!)

As someone who has watched every episode of this show and has analyzed it in a professional capacity, I can confidently say the data do not appear to support this theory in any meaningful way.

Adults, continue to enjoy Bluey... but theorize responsibly.


Beyoncé’s Daughter Rumi Looks Just Like Blue Ivy In New Photo

Kevin Mazur/WireImage/Getty Images

When exactly did little Miss Rumi Carter go from being a little baby on her mom’s hip to a kid with a better wardrobe than most of us could ever dream of? Beyoncé and JAY-Z’s 6-year-old daughter Rumi looks so grown up in a rare new photo shared on Instagram by none other than Madonna. What’s more, she looks so much like her big sister, 11-year-old Blue Ivy.

The “Like A Prayer” singer recently attended Beyoncé’s concert in East Rutherford, New Jersey on her Renaissance World Tour with her own daughters, 17-year-old Mercy and 10-year-old twins, Stella and Estere, and posted a few photos from the outing on her Instagram Story.

“Thank you Queen B for your Magnificent show! My Daughters were enthralled! We Love you!” Madonna captioned a photo on her Story.

The Queen of Pop, who was recently hospitalized for a serious bacterial infection and had to postpone her own tour while she recovers, then posted a photo of her with Beyoncé, her three daughters, and Rumi. In the photo, Rumi is standing in front of her mom, wearing a silver top, jean shorts, and a pair of $1,200 Dior high-top sneakers.

Madonna/ Instagram
Madonna attended Beyoncé’s concert on July 30 with her daughter 17-year-old Mercy and twins, Stella and Estere, and posed for a photo with the singer and her 6-year-old daughter Rumi.

The family genes clearly run strong in the Carter family. While we haven’t seen many photos of Rumi’s twin brother Sir lately, the 6-year-old truly looks like a mini version of her big sister Blue Ivy.

Allen Berezovsky/Getty Images/ Madonna/Instagram
Beyoncé and JAY-Z really said “copy and paste” with these two, didn’t they?

Blue Ivy has been making quite a name for herself as a dancer on Beyoncé’s Renaissance World Tour. Back in May, Bey gushed about how proud she is of her firstborn in a post on Instagram. “I’m so proud and thankful to be your mama. You bring us so much joy, my sweet angel,” Beyoncé captioned a photo of her daughter on stage. Who knows, maybe Blue is teaching Rumi a few moves back stage.


'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem' Cast & Their Characters In Side-By-Side Photos

Paramount Pictures

Cowabunga, dudes! The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are back in a new movie with a star-studded voice cast. In Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem, a movie you should definitely see in theaters when it premieres on Aug. 2, the Turtle brothers attempt to integrate into society by proving to New York City that they’re just regular teenagers who love pizza. And also live underground and have regular face-offs with an army of evil animals... Normal teen stuff.

In the new movie, the gang makes a new friend, April O’Neil (voiced by Ayo Edebiri from The Bear), who joins the team to fight crime. But soon they find that this might be more difficult than they thought as they realize just how many other mutant animals are against them. The turtles are voiced by rising actors Micah Abbey, Shamon Brown Jr., Nicolas Cantu, and Brady Noon. Celebs like Seth Rogen, John Cena, Ice Cube, Paul Rudd, and Maya Rudolph voice other characters in the movie.

Here’s a look at some of the more recognizable voices in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem so you don’t have to pull out your phone in the theater when you inevitably think, “I know that voice!”

Jackie Chan as Splinter

George Pimentel / Getty Images / Paramount Pictures

Jackie Chan voices Splinter, a mutant rat who is the “adoptive father” of the teenage turtles. Like Chan’s character in The Karate Kid, Splinter is highly intelligent and nurturing.

Seth Rogen as Bebop

Pascal Le Segretain / Getty Images / Paramount Pictures

Seth Rogen plays the giant warthog villain Bebop, who wears a nose ring and used to be a human. Since becoming a mutant, he wears a mohawk and fights to defeat the turtles.

John Cena as Rocksteady

Gage Skidmore / Paramount Pictures

John Cena, the wrestler-turned-actor, voices Bebop’s buddy Rocksteady. It makes sense that someone as tough as Cena could play this character — he’s also a former human, but mutated into a rhinoceros, and used to be a Russian arms dealer.

Ayo Edebiri as April O’Neil

Michael Rowe / Getty Images / Paramount Pictures

Ayo Edibiri, known for her roles in The Bear and Abbott Elementary, voices April O’Neil. April is a friend to the turtles and helps them as they try to prove their normalcy to the city.

Ice Cube as Superfly

Britannica / Paramount Pictures

You probably weren’t expecting to see the rapper of “It Was a Good Day” in the cast of the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles flick. Ice Cube plays Superfly, a mutant fly who leads the villains against the turtles.

Post Malone as Ray Fillet

Getty / Thaddaeus McAdams / Paramount Pictures

Post Malone is likely another unexpected voice in the movie. The beloved rapper is playing Ray Fillet, who often aligns with the turtles. He is, as you may have guessed, a mutant ray.

Rose Byrne as Leatherhead

Twitter / @discussingfilm / Paramount Pictures

Rose Byrne, who plays Leatherhead, will easily be one of the most recognizable voices in the movie. You likely know her from Bridesmaids, Neighbors, and a new show on Apple TV+ with her Mutant Mayhem co-star Seth Rogen called Platonic.

Paul Rudd as Mondo Gecko

Samir Hussein / Getty Images / Paramount Pictures

The skateboarding, mutant gecko named Mondo Gecko is a friend of the turtles’ and is voiced by Paul Rudd. You probably don’t need to be reminded of this actors’ films, which include Marvel’s Ant-Man, Clueless, Anchorman, and I Love You, Man.

Maya Rudolph as Cynthia Utrom

Getty Images / Paramount Pictures

Saturday Night Live alum Maya Rudolph will be playing an Utrom (an alien species) named Cynthia. Rudolph knows a thing or two about voicing creatures, having won the Emmy for Outstanding Character Voice-Over Performance for her performance as Connie the Hormone Monstress in Big Mouth.

Brady Noon, Shamon Brown Jr., Micah Abbey, and Nicolas Cantu as the Ninja Turtles

Getty Images

Rising stars Brady Noon, Shamon Brown Jr., Micah Abbey, and Nicolas Cantu are voicing Raphael, Michelangelo, Donatello and Leonardo, respectively.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem premieres in theaters on Aug. 2, but there it’s been reported that it will be available for streaming on Paramount+ sometime in September of this year. Cowabunga!


Tuesday, August 1, 2023

10 New Books On Romper’s Summer Reading List


Moms contain multitudes and so does this list of our favorite new books of the summer. We’ve got gossipy beach town murder, histories of childfree women and activist girls, a big oil bildungsroman, a time travel novel about motherhood, juicy looks at both real and fictional beauty influencers, plus preschoolers with a taste for blood. Whether you get to read them for hours by the pool or for 10 minutes in the bathroom on your phone, we’ve got a book rec for your every mood.

'Mobility' by Lydia Kiesling
Harriett's Bookshop

This millennial bildungsroman from Lydia Kiesling could have been called Complicity, but that's just not as catchy. In Kiesling’s hilarious and devastating second novel, we follow Bunny Glenn’s telling journey from listless teen in Azerbaijan to Microsoft Office virtuoso in Beaumont, Texas. For Bunny, the personal is geopolitical, even when she’s drying her armpits with her Oldsmobile’s AC vents or plucking her bikini line. (August 2023, Zando)

'Bad Summer People' by Emma Rosenblum
Harriett's Bookshop

There’s still plenty of weeks of beach weather left, and this murder mystery by Bustle Digital Group Chief Content Officer Emma Rosenblum is the perfect book to bring along. When tragedy strikes an insular summer community on Fire Island, populated by Manhattan financiers, lawyers, and their significant others, everyone in town is a suspect. And while not everyone is a murderer, no one is innocent — of adultery, embezzlement, or cheating at tennis. (May 2023, Flatiron Books)

'The Glow' by Jessie Gaynor
Harriett's Bookshop

Who amongst us hasn’t dreamed of catapulting to Goop-like status? Well, OK, maybe not that many of us — but still, a satirical look into the influencer and “wellness” industry is a rollicking premise for a debut novel by the sharp and hilarious Jessie Gaynor. To ponder on the beach this summer (as you rub Vacation oil onto your legs while downing a glass of Summer Water): “Once you become a girlboss, can you ever go back?” (June 2023, Penguin Random House)

'Young and Restless: The Girls Who Sparked America's Revolutions' by Mattie Kahn
Harriet's Bookshop

If inspiring nonfiction is more your speed, try this account of young women — from Rosa Parks to Greta Thunberg — who have shaped this country’s most heated debates. “Kahn’s tone is breezy but never flippant, and she draws vivid, well-informed sketches of her profile subjects, many of whom are lesser known,” says Publishers Weekly. (June 2023, Penguin)

'Time's Mouth' by Edan Lepucki
Harriett's Bookshop

Most parents have experienced the longing to time travel, whether it’s to sniff their grown kid’s newborn head or just to feel 23 years old again. When generations of women in Time’s Mouth figure out they can do just that, things get complicated quickly (also: deeply profound). Set between a nostalgic 1980s Los Angeles and a gauzy cult outside in northern California, this novel will transport you, dizzy and alive, through the realms of Lepucki’s wild imagination. (August 2023, Counterpoint Press)

'Cutting Teeth' by Chandler Baker
Harriett's Bookshop

Darby, Mary Beth, and Rhea are moms with a shared goal: to reclaim their careers, sex lives, and mom bods. But when a strange disease sweeps preschool, these moms — along with their 4-year-olds — become murder suspects. Fun fact: The premise of the novel was inspired by Baker’s son, who had his own, less vampiric, preschool biting phase. (July 2023, Flatiron)

'The Light Room' by Kate Zambreno
Harriett's Bookshop

As poet Niina Pollari put it in her essay for Romper, “Zambreno finds a bridge between art and the requirements of her own domesticity by looking at the work of artists who worked from the tiny details of their daily lives.” It captures an ordinary life of a mom with small kids, whose isolation leads her to places where she can feel joy. The New York Times calls it “elegant” and a “lightbox for the future.” (July 2023, Riverhead)

'Pete and Alice in Maine' by Caitlin Shetterly
Harriett's Bookshop

Nothing like escaping your own family vacation drama by reading about someone else’s. Alice and her family flee to their vacation home in Maine as the pandemic takes hold of New York City. Hoping to find sanctuary, not just from Covid, but from the problems she’s facing in her marriage, Alice finds that the unfriendly locals might just keep her from relaxing. The Minneapolis Star Tribune called Alice “relatable and entertaining.” (July 2023, HarperCollins.)

'Without Children: The Long History of Not Being a Mother' by Peggy O'Donnell Heffington
Harriett's Bookshop

People love to lay a falling birth rate at the feet of millennials, but women have been deliberately choosing not to become mothers since the beginning. Peggy O’Donnell’s honest book digs into the delightful and poignant stories of hundreds of thousands of such women, from the Roman Empire to today. This forthright book shows that, historically, the expansive and meaningful lives of women without children play a critical, and treasured, role in our society. (April 2023, Seal Press)

'Glossy: Ambition, Beauty, and the Inside Story of Emily Weiss's Glossier' by Marisa Meltzer
Harriett's Bookshop

Pre-order this one for Labor Day weekend: Influencer marketing and beauty branding changed forever when Glossier came on the scene. This gossipy (we hope) exposé looks at Weiss’ ambition to create a company with an original approach to brand building, one that will shape our ideas about beauty and entrepreneurship (and boy brows) for years to come. (September 2023, Simon & Schuster)


'Barbie' Review: The Movie Left Us Right Where We Started


As a young Trinidadian girl whose parents didn’t have Barbie money, I would pine over my friends’ dolls, dreaming of the day when I could own one of my own. For a young Black girl with big curly hair, the ideals of Barbie were always slightly unattainable — not only because I couldn’t afford her, but also because I didn’t know many people who were that tall, that white, that blonde. Still, Barbie was a significant figure for my friends so she had a hold on my imagination and even as an adult, I’m not immune to her complicated narrative. When the Barbie movie started covering every imaginable surface of pop culture in bright pink (a rather complimentary shade, I might add), I knew my kids (ages 8 and almost 4) were too young to see it, but I jumped at the chance to take my 13-year-old niece.

As a Black, antiracist feminist, I had high hopes for the movie, based not only on the reviews but on the right wing pundits who decried the film’s “wokeness.” When racist, sexist, transphobic people tell me not to see something, you best believe I’ll be rushing to get my ticket. Add to that the fact that the movie royally pissed off Ginger Gaetz, wife of Republican congressman Matt Gaetz, and I was convinced this was the movie for me. When I sat in the theater, though, I was filled with complicated thoughts that left me wanting more.

They say the best movies are those that generate ongoing dialogue and I applaud Greta Gerwig’s creation for doing just that. I, for one, want everyone to see it so we can unpack it together. So I’m sharing my thoughts in hopes that it ignites yours to further this necessary and multi-layered discussion of feminism.

The following contains spoilers for Barbie.

The Barbies get community organizing.

I’ve had a hand in organizing many a march and I can tell you that the type of shared leadership and community organizing that the Barbies did to gain back power made my little heart sing. I was like, “Yes! Reach the people one by one and then help them see their role in the movement! Give them back the power! Power to the people!”

Barbie can do hard things.

I loved that, in giving up her life in Barbie World, Barbie (played with effortless flair by Margot Robbie) did something scary and courageous that hadn’t ever been done (with success) before. Her life in Barbie World was a bit predictable and she loved it because she held so much privilege. The Real World was full of unknowns for her (and for everyone else) but she still delved in with bravery. Yes to Barbie blazing her own path even when it’s not clear to her.

I wished that the Barbies could reimagine a whole new system.

Despite the movie’s potential, it fails to imagine outside the box of patriarchy.

Even though we live in a culture where feminism is still co-opted, misinterpreted and debated on the right, the movie wasn’t nearly as “woke” as it had the potential to be. The film had the potential to be a graduate-level class in the impacts of grassroots organizing to create lasting change, but as much as they tried to tackle these big questions, the storyline didn’t land that lesson sufficiently. I wished that the Barbies could reimagine a whole new system — one without the tools that were used to oppress them, and outside the grips of the limitations that have been put on them by these very systems. For example, I delight in imagining what the storyline could have achieved without the impact of capitalism, without the option of change in the Real World only when it is in service to the mighty dollar.

Warner Bros. Pictures
In Barbie World, Issa Rae can be president, but she can’t be the star of the film.

It’s a movie that I both deeply love for what it represents for so many young and old feminists; for so many of us that need to see Black and trans and Latina representation on the big screen — and that I wish had gone even further, in envisioning a radical, bold, new existence for all of us.

If we only get supporting roles is it really representation, though?

My daughter watched Frozen for the first time 6 months ago. Harmless movie for a 3-year-old, right? Actually not quite, because she’s still asking for long blonde hair and getting upset that her beautiful curls don’t sit straight like Elsa’s. The point of Frozen for my daughter is lost somewhere in the midst of the impact of white dominance. We live in a society where whiteness is assumed to be the norm and where it permeates so much media that surrounds our kids. Even if my daughter isn’t going to see the Barbie movie, she’s still seeing the movie posters, the ads, and so much more of the marketing that has dominated our consciousness and that continues to send the message to young Black and Brown girls that white, thin, blonde people are the stars that deserve to be centered.

While I was super excited to see characters in Barbie with a variety of skin tones, hair textures, and ethnicities, the two major leads of the movie, Barbie and Ken (a platinum Ryan Gosling who exhibited an impressive range in his representation of the ills of patriarchy), were still white, blonde, thin people. Yes, America Ferrera’s character, Gloria, ultimately suggested a new Barbie who would challenge these perfectionist norms and, yes, the movie acknowledged the irony of these castings — but they still chose leads that don’t reflect my children’s identity and so many other people’s.

Ultimately, the movie acknowledged the absurdity and the problem with a room full of white men running a company centered on ‘feminism’ and geared towards little girls — and still did nothing about it.

I so wish that a Barbie movie could star an actor who isn’t what society frames as the ideal norm — even if this film does call attention to Barbie’s “stereotypical” type. Yes, that would be a totally different storyline. Yes, the plot of the movie included an analysis of those perfectionist ideals. But can we make our case and teach lessons without centering white, thin, blonde normativity in the process? I think we surely can.

We have to talk about that “joke.”

The completely racist and inappropriate joke at the expense of Indigenous people that Gloria cracked was just gross. When realizing that the dolls in Barbie-land have been completely — and weirdly easily — brainwashed by the Kens’ patriarchal visions, she says, “Oh my god! This is like in the 1500s with the Indigenous people and smallpox. They had no defenses against it!” To make light of the pain and suffering of people who are still dealing with this country’s apathy towards the impact of colonization was wrong. To the writers who still use Indigenous people as interjections to add supposed “wit,” just stop.

What does it mean that Gloria’s power only broke through in Barbie Land?

As the movie wound on, I was anxiously waiting for the end. I was sure that Gloria’s monologue — the one that snapped the dolls out of their stupor, the one that I want to play on repeat, the one that will go down in history as one of the best feminist speeches in a movie, the one where Gloria proved that she was one of the few adult humans who actually fully understood and embodied a vision for Barbie that was grounded in true liberation for all, men and women alike — I was sure that monologue would lead us to her taking over “Mattel” in the Real World. Instead, the company stayed under the control of a white dude who showed his ultimate allegiance to capitalism and not liberation. What a missed opportunity to show what feminist leadership could look like in the Real World. What a roaring feminist manifesto it would have been for Gloria to go from working for the CEO to being the CEO, replicating the feminist power of the dolls. Her trajectory fell flat, especially in contrast to the fearless leadership in Barbie World. Perhaps Gerwig is attempting to make the commentary that such a shift isn’t likely in real life, but I argue that giving space to our dreams is the first step in starting to envision and then give birth to them.

Warner Bros.
America Ferrera and Ariana Greenblatt play mother and daughter whose relationship changes over the movie, but their places in the real world stay the same.

Ultimately, the movie acknowledged the absurdity and the problem with a room full of white men running a company centered on “feminism” and geared towards little girls — and still did nothing about it. Capable, strong women of color continuing to need permission from white men for our brilliant ideas to be accepted and brought to fruition (only if the dollar signs line up, of course) is a trait of a system that is bound to fail us over and over again.

What the Barbie movie has done for so many feminists across the world can’t be understated… and I’m dreaming about the day when Hollywood can use its radical creativity to imagine completely breaking apart harmful systems. I dream of the day when a feminist movie truly captures the type of bold change that we want to envision for this world (for us and our kids), one where undeserved power is ceded and where intersectional feminism is a core part of liberation for all, not just a bright pink paint job on oppression. I’m dreaming of centering people who belong to communities pushed to the margins in huge summer cultural phenomenons that I believe would be met with smashing box office success.

So yes, when my kids are old enough, I will show them the Barbie movie and we will be pausing often to unpack and discuss the ways in which it could have been more grounded in the world we want to build together — instead of merely playing with the pieces of the world we’ve inherited.

Raising Anti-Racist Kids is a column written by Tabitha St. Bernard-Jacobs focused on education and actionable steps for parents who are committed to raising anti-racist children and cultivating homes rooted in liberation for Black people. To reach Tabitha, email hello@romper.com or follow her on Instagram.