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My father loved giving gifts to his grandchildren. One Christmas, he gave the following to our 3-year-old son: cowboy boots, a toy rifle, a full model train set (more appropriate for a grown-up hobbyist), a pedal-powered John Deere tractor and wagon, a Tonka dump truck and front loader, and probably some things I’ve forgotten.
It was ludicrous. Especially since we lived overseas in military housing with limited space and would be moving again in a year. We had nowhere to set up the train, the tractor was too hard for my son’s little legs to pedal, and the boots were too big.
If this sounds familiar to you, you may also be struggling with Grandparent Overindulgence. It’s a common condition, based on the comments I get on social media. I post about becoming a new grandparent on Instagram and TikTok as @morethangrand, and I spend a lot of time trying to convince new grandparents to cut back on the gift giving — especially during the holiday season. I know all the arguments for why grandparents should stop overindulging their grandkids, and I share that message a lot.
But now I have a message for parents: Put down the battle flag. Let the grandparents and the kids have their fun.
You can control a lot of things grandparents do with your kids, but you can’t control their online shopping. Can you make your wishes about gifts known? Absolutely. Can you give the grandparents a list of what you’d really like them to get Junior? Of course. Can you explain why it’s important to you that they stick to the list? Sure you can.
Can you stop them from ignoring you and buying your children what they want to buy? No.
So what can you do when the avalanche of holiday gifts threatens to overwhelm you? What do you do when you are faced with something you really don’t want your child to have?
Luckily, basic etiquette has some time-honored guidelines to address unwanted gifts. A simple, “Thank you for your generosity” is the best response. Then, since the gift is now in your possession, you can do anything you want with it. You may not want that noisy, flashing activity center, but someone else is going to be thrilled to get it from your local thrift shop.
Granted, this is easier when your children are too young to register what they got for Christmas. As they get older, it’s not quite so straightforward. Your 5-year-old is unlikely to donate the Barbie Dream House the day after Grandma gave it to her.
Here’s where you need to make a big shift in your perspective: There is value in a grandparent who wants to make your child’s life magical, even if they are doing it in a way you don’t agree with.
My father didn’t end his extravagance with the Christmas my son was 3. He continued to try to grant every wish his grandchildren had, whether it was a complete drum set or a laptop. He reveled in arriving with something he knew I’d never buy, like the biggest Easter basket See’s Candy sold.
It sometimes drove me crazy, but here’s the thing: The inconvenience and frustration that those gifts caused me seems so unimportant when compared to the way they contributed to the happiness of both my children and my father.
My son loved all those gifts, and they didn’t spoil him. He didn’t learn to equate love with material things. He knew my father’s generosity was based in love, so he learned to be generous. He returned my father’s generosity with love and generosity of his own. In the last year of my dad’s life, my teenage son drove over two hours each way to spend time with his grandfather every weekend during his college summer break.
Those visits brought my father so much joy. So did giving gifts. He loved to give his grandchildren things he couldn’t afford to give his own children. He’d had a less-than-happy childhood himself, and showering his grandkids with gifts delighted the little boy in him. Letting my father have that joy was a gift I could give him.
So when the grandparents show up this year with a car filled with gifts you don’t really want your child to have, don’t waste energy being angry or annoyed. Let the grandparents and the kids have their fun.
The best part? If you can embrace that perspective, you’re likely to experience some joy of your own.
DeeDee Moore founded More Than Grand as a way to share inspiration and resources for grandparents who understand the importance of their new role. On the More Than Grand blog and social media, DeeDee creates a bridge from parent to grandparent, covering topics such as concrete ways to help new parents, understanding new trends in child care, and meaningful ways to connect with your grandchildren. VisitMoreThanGrand.comor look for @morethangrand on your favorite social media.
All good things must come to an end, as they say, and that’s especially true of your Elf on the Shelf’s seasonal stay at your home. Because whether you enjoyed your elf’s antics or lazy mom-ed your way through it, the day will come when your elf goes back to the North Pole (December 24, to be exact). Still, if you don’t want the breakup between your elf and your kid to be so abrupt, you’ll need some Elf on the Shelf goodbye letters to help them with the transition.
If you thought that your child is probably so excited about Christmas that they couldn’t care less about their elf anymore, think again. Even after all the gifts have been opened and your living room is a sea of wrapping paper, your kid might still look around to see if their elf was there to witness it all. And that makes sense. After all, your Elf on the Shelf and your child have spent so much time together and shared so many laughs in the past few weeks. There needs to be some conclusion to the chaos, after all, and that’s what the Elf on the Shelf goodbye letters do. Your child needs to know that their elf is sad to go, too, and a sweet little letter telling them that they’ll be missed can be the closure that your kid needs until their elf returns again next year.
Hopefully, these handy, printable Elf on the Shelf goodbye letters will let your child know how much they’re loved by their elf (read: you).
A personalized goodbye letter with a cute illustration
This sweet goodbye letter from your elf from PuffPaperCo. on Etsy can be personalized with the name of the kid(s) and elf(ves). The illustration is sweet and beautiful and you can select the elf image in the upper right hand corner to be a boy or girl elf to match yours. It’s not free, but the sophisticated design is a lot more intricate than most of the other options you’ll find out there.
It’s one of the golden rules of owning an Elf on the Shelf — you’re never allowed to touch them. But according to this sweet goodbye letter from A Worthy Read, your child can embrace their elf just this once. Don’t believe us? The sweet printable Elf on the Shelf goodbye letter reads, in part: “For today only, you can pick me up and give me a hug. Be gentle since I’m fragile, but don’t hesitate to hold me snug.” Be sure to snap a pic of your child finally getting to hold their elf, but be prepared for some waterworks (from all of you) as they say goodbye.
It’s been weeks of do-gooding, and gosh darn it, your kid wants to know if they’ve been naughty or nice enough to have earned a truckload of presents come Christmas. Well, this goodbye letter (from Everyday Shortcuts) isn’t giving any answers. The elf says, “I will give my final report to Santa to let him know if you’ve been naughty or nice.” And if that weren’t a kick in the pants, it then goes on to read, “Remember we are always watching, so continue being good and helping others.” It’s a reminder being nice is not just for Christmastime, but all year long.
This cute goodbye letter from Make Life Lovely shows just how much your elf cares for your kid. The simple letter reads, “I love you so much and will miss all of our fun times together.” You can use that opportunity to talk about what your child’s favorite elf antics were. And, for the kid who might be crying that their elf is leaving to go see Santa, the letter also states, “I can’t wait to see you again next year! I will never forget you.” We dare you not to shed a tear, too.
A goodbye letter that keeps your kid on the lookout
Does the Elf on the Shelf ever really go away? Maybe, maybe not. But according to this goodbye letter from The Petite Planner, they’re probably always watching from a distance: “Next year I’ll be back in the blink of an eye. So be good and keep your eye on the sky!” This could be a fun activity to do with your child. As the days start getting shorter next year, you can always look up at the sky and see if your child can spy their elf headed on the way towards your house, making it the unofficial kickoff to the return of the Elf on the Shelf.
When your Elf on the Shelf has to make their way back to the North Pole (or a decorations box in the basement), you need to know just what to say. Well, you can get two printable goodbye letter templates from the Elf on the Shelf website so that you always write the right words, every time. The free download comes with two blank goodbye letters; one that reads “See you next year!” and “I will miss you!” on the top. It’s up to you to decide which one strikes the right emotional chord with your kid. (And if your child is old enough, be sure to disguise your handwriting so that you don’t have an elf-tastrophe on your hands.)
As a kid, it’s so cool to get official-looking letters. (As an adult, not so much.) That’s why your child will love this goodbye letter that comes straight from the North Pole. This letter is great because it acknowledges that both your elf and your child are sad that they’re going to be apart for a while. Still, your elf is encouraging your kid to make sure that they practice kindness all year long — and hey, doing a few chores wouldn’t hurt. But it’s the last line — “And while I’m gone, don’t grow too tall!” — that is the real tear-jerker for parents.
After weeks of engaging in all things Elf on the Shelf, you’re tired. And done. That’s why this easy goodbye letter from I Think We Could Be Friends is a sweet one — literally. Just make sure that you have extra ink for this colorful goodbye letter. It would probably look pretty on glossy photo paper, which would make the colors pop even more. And perhaps your child won’t mind their elf’s exit if there are, ahem, some doughnuts sitting on a plate alongside this letter for them to munch on, too.
For older kids who are into emojis, they’ll love this Elf on the Shelf goodbye letter that is strictly *crying face*. Many other emojis are represented in this letter (like kissy face, surprise, happiness, snoozing, and, everyone’s favorite emotion — meh. But this one is cute because it captures exactly how the elf feels about leaving your kid. It also reinforces the idea that they’ll be back, (i.e. “But of course I’ll be back next year, you already know!”), and this sentiment is something that younger sibs might find reassuring. Until then, it’ll be *frowny face* until it’s time to welcome your elf back home again.
If you don’t want to print out more than one goodbye letter for your kids, this letter from Homemade Gifts Made Easy does the job for you. For starters, the letter is addressed to the elf’s “friends”, which includes all your kids. It’s also pretty darn festive, what with the green and red stripes as well as the lettering, too. Your kids might laugh at the elf’s shoes, since their Elf on the Shelf doesn’t technically have feet, do they? All in all, a fun, vibrant goodbye letter that lets your kids know that their elf will be back again next year.
No matter how hard you tried, it seemed like you were scrambling every single day to come up with cute ideas for your Elf on the Shelf. So it’s no surprise then that, even on the last day, you need a fast and easy Elf on the Shelf goodbye letter. Enter this elf-tastic one from Mom Envy, which only requires you to print it out, fill in the date, your kid’s name, and put a check mark next to the “Ready to return to the North Pole” option. It even has a stamp so that your child will know that this letter came special delivery straight from the North Pole.
Just as your Elf on the Shelf sent your child a welcome back letter, it’s only proper that your elf leave a departure letter for your little one. It can help your child deal with the sadness and separation they might feel when their elf goes back home to the North Pole but it can also remind them of the good times they had with their elf — and the fun that will await them next year.
Every year, busy moms face the pressure of pulling off a perfect holiday season for their family. TikTok star and mom of two Holly Sherry knows the struggle well. “I’d say the most challenging part is finding the time and getting it done quickly and efficiently,” she says. “And then, of course, budgeting for a large amount of gift-giving at once.” But instead of stressing ahead of an upcoming family gift exchange, Sherry headed to a favorite neighborhood spot to stock up on thoughtful finds at competitive prices: her local CVS store.
“Ultimately, I see CVS being a super convenient place for quick shopping on a budget — which in the case of a gift exchange, where the budget is typically set in place beforehand, is very useful,” Sherry says. This year, you can expect your neighborhood store to be fully stocked with holiday displays, which is bound to turn everyday pit stops into unexpectedly joyful (and productive) gift-shopping sessions. Ahead, discover Sherry’s go-to gifts for everyone on your list that you can pick up on your next CVS run.
Gift Ideas For Kids
If your kids love acting out real-world scenarios, they’ll surely love a playset that helps turn ordinary outings (like a diner visit or your CVS trip) into exciting exercises. “My kids are loving imaginative and pretend play,” says Sherry, “so this Melissa & Doug Star Diner Restaurant Play Set is the perfect gift for littles in the toddler-age range.” The 41-piece set comes with durable wooden play food, an apron with pockets, a guest check and dry-erase marker, and more. A rolling Jakks Pacific CVS® shopping basket (stocked with 12 different play pantry and wellness essentials, naturally) is just as well equipped to spark big imaginations.
When packaging presents for little ones, Sherry suggests finding toys that double as gift-wrapping decoration, like this Grinch plush. “I love to gift a variety of items,” explains Sherry, “and some that are decorative make the wrapping that much cuter!”
For her partner, Sherry wanted something that could enhance his daily grooming routine, like the barber-grade Cremo Company shave kit that comes complete with a razor, two refills, shaving cream, and a cooling post-shave balm. “Cremo is already used in our household,” says Sherry. “Also, what guy can’t use some extra grooming supplies?”
Gifts that make family activities even better were next on her list, leading her to a LEGO City Spaceship and Asteroid Discovery kit that comes with two astronauts, an alien, and other galactic-themed accessories. “I specifically had my brother-in-law in mind with this one because he really enjoys building LEGO sets with my nephews!”
Don’t forget Sherry’s trick of leveling up gift-wrapping by including gifts in the packaging itself. An easy place to start? Try tying this Hershey's Kisses Grinch milk chocolate-filled plastic cane into the bow of a wrapped gift for an extra-sweet touch.
When considering the best gifts for the girlies in her life, Sherry knew to start strategizing close to home. “Really, I was just thinking, ‘What would I want?’ Obviously, a comfy blanket was a must,” says Sherry of the Wayland faux-fur blanket. The plush blanket adds a layer of luxury to anyone’s space, as does a flickering candle in a premium soy blend, like the Star Candle Co. Mercury Volcano Jar Candle (“Nothing says cozy like a candle during the holidays!” says Sherry.).
For the final select, why not go with a gift that literally keeps on giving? “Advent calendars have become so exciting for me during the holiday season!” says Sherry, who recommends the CVS Twelve Days of Beauty calendar. It offers a curated assortment of five full-size products and seven minis. “A bunch of mini gifts in one? Yes, please!”
Emma Chao/Romper; Getty Images; Photos Courtesy of Brands
There are few things I love more than a house full of people during the holidays. It’s a staple of every major Christmas movie — the Griswolds, Four Christmases, the McCallisters in Home Alone — and it’s something I look forward to all year long. Coming up with things to do as a family is easy, but finding things that work for all ages — and all attention spans — can be tough. So before you start trying to reserve space at a restaurant or pull everyone out of their cozy jammies to go ice skating, try shopping for gifts and games the whole family can enjoy.
From sentimental options to fun, laugh-out-loud games, the items on this list work as both a family activity and a great gift to give as a group. Show up to your grandma’s house with the Mind the Gap trivia game and let her effortlessly school you on 1940s movie trivia. Give your mom the beautiful Christmas family journal on this list so you can all spend a fun evening reminiscing and getting the warm fuzzies. Or simply put on your coziest sweater and meet everybody outside around the bonfire for some great holiday togetherness. The holidays are meant to be a time to be together — and this list will just help enhance that time.
You don’t have to know how to play video games to enjoy the family bonding that happens with the Nex Playground Game System. You don’t need any controllers or sensors or wearables — just your own arms and hands to set off the motion learning system for all the games. Every age will enjoy this, and it comes with five games already built in (you can purchase more with a pass). Another bonus: it’s just this one piece. Perfect for storage and traveling between houses, and so much fun for extended family to play together. (Fruit Ninja will really get you feeling competitive.)
This game looks silly, and it is — but that’s what makes it so fun for extended family. Tippy the Magic Dragon is not overly complicated, it doesn’t have a million rules, and even the littlest kids can play it. It’s like a little balance game, and Tippy looks like she’s really floating in the air. It’s perfect for setting on a table, especially during the holidays when space is limited, and letting people tinker with it at their leisure.
I love a puzzle, and the holiday season is always the perfect time to leave one out on the coffee table. Galison puzzles are top notch — no cheap edges here making it hard to put the pieces together, and the designs are just beautiful. I’m personally obsessed with this Joy Laforme Gingerbread Cottage puzzle, and it’s such a sweet little scene.
When you have multiple generations together for the holidays, it’s the perfect time to break out Mind the Gap. This trivia game has Boomers, Gen Xers, Millennials, and more competing against each other to answer trivia questions about their own eras — and each other’s. It’s a hilariously good time and grandparents will especially love jumping into it.
The Most Heartwarming Christmas Book To Read Aloud
I’ve read many Christmas books out loud to my kids and their cousins, but nothing quite gets me in the feels as much as Santa’s First Christmas, written by Mac Barnett and illustrated by Sydney Smith. Not only is the story itself so sweet — the elves realize Santa never gets to really celebrate his own Christmas — but when you read it, you’ll find some laugh-out-loud moments and lots of perfect pauses and writing. It’s just so good.
If you combined Boggle and Yahtzee, you’d get Yahtzee Words. This is one of those games that really bridges any gap between big kids and grandparents, and it’s just competitive enough to not leave anyone upset or angry at the end.
Who doesn’t love baking holiday cookies? My pro-tip is to make the dough ahead of time, and let the extended family all get in on the decorating and cookie cutting instead of doing it solo. I love these holiday linzer cookie cutters, and it feels like the perfect activity to pull out for multiple generations. Everyone can have a job, and everyone can share their favorite cookie memories from childhood (including the one you’re all making right now.
A good LEGO set is the perfect quiet family activity. Whether you’ve got a bunch of X-Men enthusiasts in your house (if you do, can I send my husband over?) or not, this enormous X-Mansion set has lots of pieces so you can give the LEGO fans in your house their own little section to work on. Put on a Christmas movie, pour some cocoa, and get to building.
Another all-ages-on-deck idea? Karaoke. Feel free to make up some fun little themes or rules, like only singing songs from the year each of you were born or singing only TV theme songs, but man, what I would’ve given to have a karaoke night with my granddad. This one comes with two wireless microphones, lights, and plenty of technology to make it as easy as possible to sing your heart out to each other.
OK, so maybe this one isn't for all ages, but when you're just hanging with the of-age members of your family and want to play bartender, the Tito’s Read It & Sip Cocktail Kit from Cocktail Courier is too good. It has everything — and I mean everything — you need to make four different kinds of cocktails, including one that uses a Twizzler for a straw. It’s such a fun way to experiment with drinks, and then everyone gets an extra fancy beverage. Win-win.
Holiday pajamas have become the norm over the years, but matching family pajamas are 100% worth it. Take a picture of everyone in their sweet jammies, make sure you all wear them for Christmas Eve, put them on to watch a Christmas movie. Whatever you’re doing in them, just know that the grandparents in their matching version are loving every second.
Of course you can have a cozy movie night or Christmas story time without special beds, but like...why? Make this an unforgettable family memory with the FUNBOY Kids Sleepover Beds. If you've got a bunch of cousins spending the night, want to make an ultra cozy room for the kids, or just want to let them all lounge after opening presents, these are so fun. They can fit kids well into their tweens, and they seriously can take a beating — they are meant to last through little kid wear and tear, you know? Bonus: they deflate easily and can be popped into bags and stored away.
For those with a bunch of TikTok-loving tweens and teens in the house (and 30-something moms, let’s be real), break out this game. Make It Dance is a hilarious mix-and-match game where players have to create a dance based off of the parameters the cards give them, so they’ll pull a song choice — like Aretha Franklin’s “Respect,” and then pull a persona that they have to dance as, like a vampire. Other players get to judge, and it’s just such a fun game, especially for the dancers in your family.
Family-themed trivia? Obviously you’ve got to play this one over the holidays. By answering questions about each other, like “What is my favorite restaurant?”, players can move forward in Do You Really Know Your Family? and even do silly little challenges to get ahead. The real fun is finding out some things about your family — and discovering what things you’ve been totally wrong about.
Another fun social game, Debatable is all about arguing — but like, for fun. With holiday-themed debates like “Is Die Hard a Christmas movie?” you’re bound to hear some passionate opinions from your family members.
Some of my favorite family moments have been around a bonfire, and the Solo Stove is the one you need. Not only is it portable and easy to move wherever you want it to be, it also has this smokeless technology that keeps everyone from smelling like a straight up forest fire when they go to bed. I personally love the rounded lip on top — it just feels a little safer when kiddos are around — and it’s easy to make a fire inside of it without worrying about it spreading or getting too far. Even the smallest outdoor spaces can accommodate this baby.
You don’t have to go on Christmas Day, but there are so many great movies out right now — from Wicked to Gladiator II, The Best Christmas Pageant Ever to Moana 2 — and it’s such a fun family activity. Sneak in some of those linzer cookies in your bag.
My sentimental heart is obsessed with this idea, and I think this is a great gift for the matriarch of the family — but you all have to do it together. It’s a beautifully bound Christmas-themed family journal where you can write down memories, what’s happening this year, and more family lore. Don’t think of it as only for filling with future Christmases. Spend some time while you’re all together reminiscing about old family Christmas memories and stories you all hold so dear. Write them down, take some pictures, and fill up that book.
This is, hands down, our favorite card game in our family. It's silly, everyone starts getting super loud, and it's a quick one to play if you're trying to find something easy that doesn't require a ton of rules. Players slap the cards down and everyone takes turns saying one word in the lineup of words — Taco, Cat, Goat, Cheese, Pizza. But if the card you slap down has the word you say printed on the front, you want to be the first one to throw your hand down. The whole goal is to get rid of all the cards in your hand, which means the slapping gets a little intense and hilarious.
The Cookbook To Inspire Your Own Family Traditions
Babs Costello is everyone’s internet grandma for a reason, and her Celebrate With Babs book is full of recipes and traditions that will inspire your own family. Go through it together and choose some new traditions, talk about your own, and pick a few recipes to cook together in the kitchen. What’s the point in everyone being together for the holidays if you aren’t going to have a Hallmark movie moment over the stove?
Above all, the holidays are about togetherness, whether you have any of these gifts or not. But one or a few of these can sure help everyone feel a little closer.
